This is a wonderful picture of Mel - I will have to find out if I can get a larger version because this is exactly how I want to remember her. I have the same shirt that she is wearing - because Mel bought one for me in the U.K. and sent it to me because I had casually mentioned I wish I could find one. That's the kind of person she was: unfailingly generous, incredibly thoughtful. When she made Morrissey candles for her friends, she used circa 2006 images for everyone - except me. She knew I didn't fancy modern Morrissey as much as Smiths-era Morrissey, so she specially made one for me with 1985 Morrissey on it. That's the kind of thoughtfulness that she always exhibited.
Every day something reminds me of her... and I tear up again. This morning it was "November Spawned a Monster" coming on shuffle. At the Portland show during the Oye Esteban show, Mel and I were up against the stage together. I kept trying to touch Morrissey's hand but being quite short, I couldn't quite reach him... then during the middle part of "Monster" he stretched out as far as he could, and I stretched out as far as I could towards him, and he sang, "Stretch, stretch" to me as I finally was able to touch his hand. Mel was so happy for me - she gave me a huge hug and one of her joyous smiles.
And then about a month later, I received a CD of the show in the mail. Mel had burned it for me, put photographs taken at the show on the sleeve, and wrote the following inscription: "This concert was burned expressedly for the Comtesse DeSpair ('cos she was there at the show and got to touch
His hand). Do not steal it, or you will be very sorry!" She credited the sleeve design to "Hobags On Sabbatical" and wrote "You are weeping, You do not like the sleeve, You are weeping, You do not like the sleeve, You are weeping..." on it. It's so quintessentially Mel: funny, witty, and so very kind. That damn little disk means so much to me now... and when I hear the "Stretch, stretch" part I am reminded of that huge hug and smile afterwards.
Oh, Mel - why did you have to leave us so soon???
The Tearstained Comtesse