I celebrated a milestone birthday this year and it has me asking the question that`s the title of this blog. I remember being a kid not so long ago and being young but never carefree. I worried about many things even as a child. I didn`t know that was called anxiety. It wasn`t really discussed back then as well as so many other things that we have more awareness now and are also discussed now. I`m not complaining though we had love from our Mom and Dad (even though he had a different way of showing it. I guess one of the ways he showed it was being a good provider). I guess the way he showed it was different because maybe his upbringing and all of us think he has PTSD from being in combat in Vietnam. He did have a fast temper. My Mom was an excellent Mother, and we could feel her love unconditionally. It took both parents working to run a household, so we were latch key kids and learned how to help out around the house. I remember loving music since I was a very small child and I still love the music from when I was growing up.
Reaching this age I do regret all the things I didn`t do or didn`t try for fear of failing or rejection. Most of that was due to not feeling good enough for anything, for example I wanted to go to art school but didn`t think I was good enough. I never dated because I thought I wasn`t good enough for anyone. That`s why I`m alone now, I do have my family but I`m getting older and I`m afraid of where that road leads to.
I think my mental illness also contributed to not trying or doing certain. I think it has robbed me of a lot of things people my age have like kids and husbands or wives or careers. I don`t think much of myself and sometimes think my life was wasted. I have scars from razor blades and lighters on my body to show the passing of time. Some people say it`s never too late to accomplish something meaningful. I`ll guess we`ll see.
Reaching this age I do regret all the things I didn`t do or didn`t try for fear of failing or rejection. Most of that was due to not feeling good enough for anything, for example I wanted to go to art school but didn`t think I was good enough. I never dated because I thought I wasn`t good enough for anyone. That`s why I`m alone now, I do have my family but I`m getting older and I`m afraid of where that road leads to.
I think my mental illness also contributed to not trying or doing certain. I think it has robbed me of a lot of things people my age have like kids and husbands or wives or careers. I don`t think much of myself and sometimes think my life was wasted. I have scars from razor blades and lighters on my body to show the passing of time. Some people say it`s never too late to accomplish something meaningful. I`ll guess we`ll see.
