bailiffwithbadbreath
'so-slow liberation army'
You know, I can tell from reading these things that you are a genuinely good, kind hearted man. No offence, but your father sounds appalling. What an absolute brute of a man. I'd have done the same in your situation. As it is, my mother threw me in the canal when I was a few days old. It's only because a kind man called Dave used it as his regular fishing spot that I'm here today. No idea who my father was and to be honest I doubt my mother did either.
'Dave' sounds nice, though I tend to avoid men called Dave who hang around canals. God, what a nghtmare you've lived through. It puts my televisual restrictions firmly into context. Of all the things that could have happened, I'm certainly glad I didn't end up being under the care of a man called Dave.