Driving Your Girlfriend Home

[Still Tired]

I love the way a relatively short and seemingly straight forward song can have so many different meanings to different people, really interesting.

When I first heard the song I didn’t pick up on the longing of the narrator for the girlfriend he’s driving home, I see it now, but originally I thought he was just almost an objective outsider playing the ‘agony-aunt’ role again. Maybe because that’s a situation I find myself in all too often so I completely related! So I took his comments of ‘I can’t answer’ and ‘I can’t tell her’ as him just patiently listening to all her woes, but knowing he can’t really help, can’t solve anything because a relationship is such a private thing and his words wouldn’t help whatever he said. So it’s almost a resigned voice, weary of why two people can make each other so unhappy and yet not do anything about it. And then there are the split loyalties of him not wanting to take sides but perfectly understanding her upset, but knowing he just has to let them get on with it.

It just reminds me also of a situation where I was friends with a couple, liked the guy a bit more than I should and used to listen to his girlfriend complaining about him and I couldn’t say anything either. And of course they stayed together, wrapped up in their own little world.

The song also seems to evoke to me that weird time when you can suddenly find yourself sharing an incredibly emotional experience with someone you perhaps don’t know that well, and at the end of the tears there’s that almost strained embarrassment where you just want to get away- hence the shift to shaking hands politely after she’s poured her heart out.

 

[milli]

To explain what? She isn't trying to get him to explain anything, she is just using him as a 'shoulder to cry on'.

agree, I've always seen this in that (simple) way.

i think she doesn't notice that he is in love with her, he is "only" a friend..

"I can't tell her ...and we´re shaking hands so politely".
it seems he wants more than that but he is ashamed, maybe her lover is his friend too ???

reminds me a bit of "there is a light..."

I thought it could be about Linder ?

btw. my favorite song from the "Kill Uncle" Album.

 

[bhops]

I too have to say that you are looking for a meaning far far removed from the point of the actual song. Moz was actually asked about this song back when promoting Kill Uncle in '91.

He was asked if the 'goodnight so politely' was a sense of loss for the driver, i.e not being able to tell the girl he has driven home how he really feels about her.

He answered that 'yes it was' and then quickly changed the subject. Now I know he has written many songs with homoerotic undertones but he has ALWAYS down the years written some great boy/girl unrequented love songs as well, it's just that half the fans on this forum refuse to accept it!

 

[Radio Berlin]

but why is it called driving your girlfriend home, and not driving you home... ?

 

[Jones]

but why is it called driving your girlfriend home, and not driving you home... ?

To make it clear that he knows the boyfriend very well (best friend) so adds further explanation why he can't declare himself.

 

[Radio Berlin]

To make it clear that he knows the boyfriend very well (best friend) so adds further explanation why he can't declare himself.

hmm**

 

[nightandday]

Moz was actually asked about this song back when promoting Kill Uncle in '91.

He was asked if the 'goodnight so politely' was a sense of loss for the driver, i.e not being able to tell the girl he has driven home how he really feels about her.

He answered that 'yes it was' and then quickly changed the subject.

I've never heard that, do you remember which interview it was?

 

[Danny]

but why is it called driving your girlfriend home, and not driving you home... ?

I don't think the narrator is meant to be speaking directly to anyone. It's more of an interior monologue.

 

[Radio Berlin]

I don't think the narrator is meant to be speaking directly to anyone. It's more of an interior monologue.

perhaps

 

[Danny]

perhaps

Pretty obvious really. He's not going to tell someone all that stuff directly is he?

 

[Oh my god. it's Robby!]

he is shaking hands with her I think

on a personal note;
long ago now
I had a girlfriend that a friend of mine drove to her home all the time
since he too lived in 'The Valley'
and one time
she called me up after and said
'So Francis hit on me on the ride home.'
I asked her to explain further
she did
then I said
'Well, it is good you did not take his money, but you could have at least shook his hand when you got out of the car.'
I laughed, she had no idea what I was referring to
how could she?
she was only 16/7 and I had not properly indoctrinated her on
Morrissey and The Smiths
and would never get the chance
because after that
I did not ask Francis to give her a ride home
and me and J. started to 'grow apart'

 

[Radio Berlin]

Pretty obvious really. He's not going to tell someone all that stuff directly is he?

no, you're right. I'm still confused about the title though.

 

[nightandday]

no, you're right. I'm still confused about the title though.

Can I ask you a question, since you like to think those things through? It's about a song I really love, by one of my favourite bands, the seriously underrated Thin White Rope. It's called "If Those Tears" - really great song (everyone, don't miss the chance to download it! http://www.sendspace.com/file/ra5y92 )


If Those Tears

Practice what I'll tell you when you know
Your girl and I thought just of you
We promised no emotion,
We quit when we were through

I'll give her a hug just like a handshake
I'll give you one that's just the same
You'll say "Just don't stab my back"
To see if I'm ashamed
My eyes will fill with tears
As I promise not to touch her for a thousand years

I don't know if those tears will come so smooth



Now, why did Guy Kyser, the songwriter/singer/guitarist of the band, choose to address the woman's boyfriend, instead of the woman herself? What do you think?

Does it make you confused?

 

[duchess_of_fork]

he is shaking hands with her I think

on a personal note;
long ago now
I had a girlfriend that a friend of mine drove to her home all the time
since he too lived in 'The Valley'
and one time
she called me up after and said
'So Francis hit on me on the ride home.'
I asked her to explain further
she did
then I said
'Well, it is good you did not take his money, but you could have at least shook his hand when you got out of the car.'
I laughed, she had no idea what I was referring to
how could she?
she was only 16/7 and I had not properly indoctrinated her on
Morrissey and The Smiths
and would never get the chance
because after that
I did not ask Francis to give her a ride home
and me and J. started to 'grow apart'

hey hey hey now! age is no excuse!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[thursdayispathetic]

i think this song is simply him saying that he cannot relate to this girls situation, of being in love or a relationship- and he can't answer her questions, because he just doesnt know.

 

[Radio Berlin]

i think this song is simply him saying that he cannot relate to this girls situation, of being in love or a relationship- and he can't answer her questions, because he just doesnt know.

yes, that's what I think to

 

[Radio Berlin]

Can I ask you a question, since you like to think those things through? It's about a song I really love, by one of my favourite bands, the seriously underrated Thin White Rope. It's called "If Those Tears" - really great song (everyone, don't miss the chance to download it! http://www.sendspace.com/file/ra5y92 )


If Those Tears

Practice what I'll tell you when you know
Your girl and I thought just of you
We promised no emotion,
We quit when we were through

I'll give her a hug just like a handshake
I'll give you one that's just the same
You'll say "Just don't stab my back"
To see if I'm ashamed
My eyes will fill with tears
As I promise not to touch her for a thousand years

I don't know if those tears will come so smooth



Now, why did Guy Kyser, the songwriter/singer/guitarist of the band, choose to address the woman's boyfriend, instead of the woman herself? What do you think?

Does it make you confused?

that's not confusing, that's just lame lyrics
thanks for the song though

 

[nightandday]

that's not confusing, that's just lame lyrics
thanks for the song though

Not really, they're just simple. Simple and lame are not the same thing. They're not the kind of lyrics that look great when printed - much better as a part of the actual song. For 'lame lyrics' you should listen to Oasis.

You didn't answer the question though, so I'll do that instead. he obviously chose to address his rival instead of the woman, because addressing the object of one's affection has been done too often in pop/rock music, so when you choose to address the rival you can make it a bit different, show it from a different angle, and possibly make it more effective - as the feelings expressed will seem restrained to an extent, which can actually give emotional strength to the song that it wouldn't have if you choose to do the usual 'what will I do now that you are with another guy...'.

Judge for yourself whether this might answer some of your previous questions.

 

[Radio Berlin]

Not really, they're just simple. Simple and lame are not the same thing. They're not the kind of lyrics that look great when printed - much better as a part of the actual song. For 'lame lyrics' you should listen to Oasis.

You didn't answer the question though, so I'll do that instead. he obviously chose to address his rival instead of the woman, because addressing the object of one's affection has been done too often in pop/rock music, so when you choose to address the rival you can make it a bit different, show it from a different angle, and possibly make it more effective - as the feelings expressed will seem restrained to an extent, which can actually give emotional strength to the song that it wouldn't have if you choose to do the usual 'what will I do now that you are with another guy...'.

Judge for yourself whether this might answer some of your previous questions.

Yes I get it. I've just never interpreted it that way. And I still don't.

 

[nightandday]

On the other hand, another possible reason for addressing the boyfriend rather than the girlfriend could be simply that he knows the boyfriend better and for longer time, that he thinks of the woman primarily as his friend's girlfriend (so, duchess, in that case it wouldn't be Linder ), and, while he may feel a longing for her as Uncleskinny and Kuiper said, it might not be so much that he's in love with her per se. Maybe he just finds himself wondering at times what it would be like if he were in his friend's shoes, one of the regular guys who have romantic/sexual relationships, rather than a person who is continually single and an outside observer of human relationships.

When the girlfriend's confession shows him how flawed their relationships is, and how many faults his friends has, maybe it makes him dream, at least for a moment, of himself being in his friend's position and wonder if he could do better. As I've said, it reminds me of the lines from I Know It's Over about the 'sad-veiled bride', and 'loud loutish lover, treat her kindly, because she needs you more than she loves you'. In both cases, he is an outsider who envies other people their relationships but at the same time comments on how flawed those relationships are, and in both cases his sympathy seems to be on the woman's side, while the man isn't portrayed in the most flattering light (that's why I find it unlikely that he has feelings for the man in "Driving Your Girlfriend Home" as some have suggested). However, he still feels that he'll always be just the outsider and the observer - maybe he can't summon up the courage or 'manliness' to do anything about it, as Uncleskinny said. But maybe he's also thinking that he might have made the right choice, as people who do enter relationships end up by compromising so much and settling for an unhappy, conventional life. ('how did I end up so deeply involved in the very existence I planned on avoiding?')