I am not superstitious and I certainly think Karma is bunk. But something makes me hesitate shouting at the top of my lungs, "life is good," out of fear that I will jinx myself—that the hubris police will come cracking down and put me back in my miserable place. Maybe I am simply not used to success. It feels different. I feel vulnerable. Could I lose it all in a moment's notice?
I should feel I deserve this chance at greatness. Haven't I suffered enough? I don't want to be a victim anymore. I honestly believe as long as you take on that role you will be limited. You can't be a winner and a loser at the same time. Attitude is everything. Letting go of grudges and past hurts is essential. What was, is no longer so. Move the f*** on.
For the first time in a very long time I have financial security, nice clothes, a great apartment, a car that is paid for, serenity, a great relationship with my mother and son, and a future. I really will be going to England soon. And to Spain—a foodie's paradise.
If I go to England, who will I go with? Where will I stay? For how long? What cities will I visit? In the end will I be better off for going or just a little lighter on the cash?
I want to call my sister. I want her to be proud of my accomplishments. But I am not sure the news would be received well. Instead of being happy for me, I gather she may feel a hint of competitiveness and envy. It shouldn't be that way. I really wish it wasn't.
And so, there it is, I am happy, thriving, intellectually stimulated and fulfilled, busy, and can't wait to go back to work on Monday. I really love what I do now—for the first time, really. I think I found my calling—for now at least.
I should feel I deserve this chance at greatness. Haven't I suffered enough? I don't want to be a victim anymore. I honestly believe as long as you take on that role you will be limited. You can't be a winner and a loser at the same time. Attitude is everything. Letting go of grudges and past hurts is essential. What was, is no longer so. Move the f*** on.
For the first time in a very long time I have financial security, nice clothes, a great apartment, a car that is paid for, serenity, a great relationship with my mother and son, and a future. I really will be going to England soon. And to Spain—a foodie's paradise.
If I go to England, who will I go with? Where will I stay? For how long? What cities will I visit? In the end will I be better off for going or just a little lighter on the cash?
I want to call my sister. I want her to be proud of my accomplishments. But I am not sure the news would be received well. Instead of being happy for me, I gather she may feel a hint of competitiveness and envy. It shouldn't be that way. I really wish it wasn't.
And so, there it is, I am happy, thriving, intellectually stimulated and fulfilled, busy, and can't wait to go back to work on Monday. I really love what I do now—for the first time, really. I think I found my calling—for now at least.
Success is the only revenge I seek.