Likewise, Mozambiguous will be making no extended comments at this juncture until the veracity of this document can be determined.
However, events will be monitored throughout the day and I will be ready to pounce if and when it's deemed necessary.
In the meantime I will just state that my thoughts go out to the families of all dairy cows who may have lost loved ones in the preparations for Morrissey's tour. I condemn the above document in the strongest terms; whether it was released in 2009 or 2016, it's still a stark reminder of Morrissey's 30+ years of Cheesetarian CrankFraudulence.
And as always, I stand shoulder to shoulder with the dairy cows and remain against any attack on their autonomy as thinking, feeling creatures who deserve to live out the full duration of their lives without being interfered with by a C-list pop singer grasping at their teats because his dressing room requires KerryGold butter.
The symbolic pirate flag of morrissey-solo.com will fly at half-mast in their honour until answers are provided. If indeed the date on the front of this tour rider proves to be accurate I encourage all right thinking people on this website to join together in solidarity against the oppressive, deceptive, charlatan circumlocution of the Morrissey Brand.
A call to verbal arms to combat the lies spewed by the butter junkie attempting to hide the fact that he's been talking out of both sides of his mouth whilst compulsively consuming dairy in whichever side was currently unoccupied.
He's been gulping down the dairy since whatever age he was finally weaned off his mother's milk and it seems after 30+ years in the public eye - if the rider can conclusively be proven to be real - that he hasn't been able to come off the stuff just yet.
He has the mandibular prognathism of a man who's been mindlessly sucking at udders for his entire life - he's got scars that can be seen. If he had found a magnificent real pair of female breasts to put his mouth on regularly then his life may not have been so lonely and desperate that he was reliant on the stuff coming from cows' teats for nourishment. But maybe he ordered his lackeys to request it this time around because he likes to smear KerryGold on his chest and have Damon lick it off; I don't know what this sick f*** does in the privacy of his dressing room surrounded by dairy products. Ignorance is bliss in this case.
It certainly has the air of fetishism about it, though, with all his doubletalk. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets Damon to wear leather and collar him and force him, naked, to kneel on the floor and lick butter from KerryGold tubs. All I know is that whatever the explanation is, it's something perverse and probably stems from his childhood.
At any rate, our resolve will not be weakened against this buffoon. We'll fight in the trenches and we can defeat this chancer and shut his mouth good and proper, FOREVER. Won't be difficult; he keeps giving us opportunities for open shots. I've got one lined up between his eyes right now and all that's needed is confirmation of this rider's accuracy for me to pull the trigger on his b!tch ass.
Hopefully for him it'll be found to be a falsified document in which case he might live to fight another day, just about.
MOZAMBIGUOUS
