Let's say there's a pair of friends; we will call them Theophilus and Jacinta. Theophilus is very attracted to his friend, however this is hopeless as Jacinta is married. Then again, occasionally married persons stray, but what are the signs? And how is someone as inept as Theophilus supposed to read them?
For example, a couple months ago Theophilus was intending to get away from his oppressively irritating day-to-day life by planning a trip to Washington, D.C. this June: to treat himself to a stay in a five-star hotel, sample the finest Asian cuisine our nation's capital has to offer, and break a decades-long concert drought by seeing the Raveonettes perform at the Black Cat. When Theophilus told Jacinta about his plans and described the Raveonettes' music because she wasn't familiar with them, she said, "that sounds amazing, I wish I was going with you." Which is obviously just an innocent rhetorical expression, except she added a dig at her husband by saying she'd like to go to a nice restaurant for a change without it seeming like a bribe to get her to end hostilities in a marital spat.
More recently Jacinta has commented to Theophilus that her husband is "letting himself go" and getting fat even though she asks him to eat healthier food, and also that she finds his company annoying. Theophilus is not fat and (hopefully) not too annoying, so is there even a sliver of hope that this could mean anything in his favor, or is he just the palace eunuch enduring the Queen's complaints about the King?
I am asking for a friend.
