Worm
Taste the diffidence
Rove says he was not forced to quit
By Suzanne Malveaux
With reports from Worm.
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Karl Rove said Monday his resignation as President Bush's senior political adviser was not forced and that he plans to spend his post-White House career writing a book, teaching, and spreading his evil outside the media's purview.
Karl Rove was dubbed by President Bush as "the architect", largely because the President has never been able to pronounce the word 'consigliere'.
Perhaps Rove's most powerful White House aide, Bush accepted Rove's resignation on Friday, he told CNN's Suzanne Malveaux in an e-mail. "Himself job-fired", the President said in a brief statement.
When asked for his reaction to those who say he's being "run out of town," Rove responded, "That sounds like the rooster claiming to have called up the sun." When asked for clarification, Rove told reporters, "You can have all the clarification you want in a three-by-five cell in Gitmo".
Rove has been the target of congressional scrutiny as he and other White House staffers have been subpoenaed by Congress to testify in the case of several fired U.S. attorneys. As of yet, Rove has not appeared, having called down from The Mountain of Doom that he would "dissolve all you sons of bitches with [his] magic warlock pepper".
Rove served as Bush's political adviser last year as Democrats won control of Congress and as the president failed to overhaul U.S. immigration law. Many see the temporary empowerment of a group of politicians as stupid and cowardly as the Democrats as Rove's most brilliant move.
Both Rove and the president are expected to speak on the White House South Lawn at 11:35 a.m. ET before boarding Marine One. Then Bush and Rove will head to the president's ranch in Crawford, Texas. In a good-natured exchange typical of their relationship, Rove joked with the president about their bet to see which they could destroy first, America or Earth. Kidded Rove, "He's got Putin helping him out on the sly".
Rove said the first thing he plans to do after leaving the White House is "go dove hunting in West Texas with family and friends", although Rove candidly admitted that after killing the doves he would then be hard-pressed to find more symbolic ways to express his deep-seated hatred of peace: "Where's Cindy Sheehan hiding these days?"
A senior administration official described Rove's agony over the decision, and how "he and his family struggled" over it and why "this is a good as time as any. We can't do any more damage." Fighting tears, Rove spoke with nostalgia of the last seven years. "The harm we've done this country-- and the world-- is immeasurable. Just gotta find some new challenges."
"You're never going to replace him," said another senior administration official, adding that Rove served a "unique role as Machiavellian puppetmaster to President Bush."
"It's up to [White House Chief of Staff] Josh [Bolten] whether he'll be replaced," the official said. When asked if 'replaced' meant 'rubbed out', the official scoffed. "Karl is a made man".
Rove plans to write a book about his days with Bush and eventually teach politics on the university level, where he hopes to spread political corruption and a toxic case of herpes.
"Obviously it's a big loss to us, said deputy White House press secretary Dana Perino. "He is a great colleague, good friend and a brilliant mind. No one's going to improve on Karl. I don't see Darth Vader walking through that door, do you?"
Rove, who has held a top position in the White House since Bush took office in January 2001, is to stand down on August 31 and proceed into his life as a double-secret black ops agent. "But first I want to relax with a box of donuts and the new issue of 'National Review'", Rove said.
Both Rove and Scott Jennings, who is a special assistant to the president and deputy political director, were subpoenaed by the Senate Judiciary Committee, which is investigating the fired attorneys case. Rove did not testify as ordered by the subpoena earlier this month, claiming he needed an extra week to find a suitable patsy to take the fall.
Rove told The Wall Street Journal that he'd first suggested the idea of leaving about a year ago. However, because of Bush's acute case of ADD, it took Rove an entire year to make the president understand, finally resorting to hand signals and peanut butter smeared on his crotch.
Rove also told the Wall Street Journal that he thought Hillary Clinton -- a "tough, tenacious, fatally flawed candidate" -- would win the 2008 presidential nomination. "Then we will sabotage her whole life and plunge America into greater chaos".
Loved by conservatives but a hate figure for many Democrats, Rove said he expected his rival party to be divided over the wireless wiretapping issue while the Republicans should come out top in economic issues closer to the 2008 poll. "But as long as we have a national media that uses oxymorons like 'wireless wiretapping', I think things'll be plenty safe for us to continue our malevolence into perpetuity".
By Suzanne Malveaux
With reports from Worm.
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Karl Rove said Monday his resignation as President Bush's senior political adviser was not forced and that he plans to spend his post-White House career writing a book, teaching, and spreading his evil outside the media's purview.
Karl Rove was dubbed by President Bush as "the architect", largely because the President has never been able to pronounce the word 'consigliere'.
Perhaps Rove's most powerful White House aide, Bush accepted Rove's resignation on Friday, he told CNN's Suzanne Malveaux in an e-mail. "Himself job-fired", the President said in a brief statement.
When asked for his reaction to those who say he's being "run out of town," Rove responded, "That sounds like the rooster claiming to have called up the sun." When asked for clarification, Rove told reporters, "You can have all the clarification you want in a three-by-five cell in Gitmo".
Rove has been the target of congressional scrutiny as he and other White House staffers have been subpoenaed by Congress to testify in the case of several fired U.S. attorneys. As of yet, Rove has not appeared, having called down from The Mountain of Doom that he would "dissolve all you sons of bitches with [his] magic warlock pepper".
Rove served as Bush's political adviser last year as Democrats won control of Congress and as the president failed to overhaul U.S. immigration law. Many see the temporary empowerment of a group of politicians as stupid and cowardly as the Democrats as Rove's most brilliant move.
Both Rove and the president are expected to speak on the White House South Lawn at 11:35 a.m. ET before boarding Marine One. Then Bush and Rove will head to the president's ranch in Crawford, Texas. In a good-natured exchange typical of their relationship, Rove joked with the president about their bet to see which they could destroy first, America or Earth. Kidded Rove, "He's got Putin helping him out on the sly".
Rove said the first thing he plans to do after leaving the White House is "go dove hunting in West Texas with family and friends", although Rove candidly admitted that after killing the doves he would then be hard-pressed to find more symbolic ways to express his deep-seated hatred of peace: "Where's Cindy Sheehan hiding these days?"
A senior administration official described Rove's agony over the decision, and how "he and his family struggled" over it and why "this is a good as time as any. We can't do any more damage." Fighting tears, Rove spoke with nostalgia of the last seven years. "The harm we've done this country-- and the world-- is immeasurable. Just gotta find some new challenges."
"You're never going to replace him," said another senior administration official, adding that Rove served a "unique role as Machiavellian puppetmaster to President Bush."
"It's up to [White House Chief of Staff] Josh [Bolten] whether he'll be replaced," the official said. When asked if 'replaced' meant 'rubbed out', the official scoffed. "Karl is a made man".
Rove plans to write a book about his days with Bush and eventually teach politics on the university level, where he hopes to spread political corruption and a toxic case of herpes.
"Obviously it's a big loss to us, said deputy White House press secretary Dana Perino. "He is a great colleague, good friend and a brilliant mind. No one's going to improve on Karl. I don't see Darth Vader walking through that door, do you?"
Rove, who has held a top position in the White House since Bush took office in January 2001, is to stand down on August 31 and proceed into his life as a double-secret black ops agent. "But first I want to relax with a box of donuts and the new issue of 'National Review'", Rove said.
Both Rove and Scott Jennings, who is a special assistant to the president and deputy political director, were subpoenaed by the Senate Judiciary Committee, which is investigating the fired attorneys case. Rove did not testify as ordered by the subpoena earlier this month, claiming he needed an extra week to find a suitable patsy to take the fall.
Rove told The Wall Street Journal that he'd first suggested the idea of leaving about a year ago. However, because of Bush's acute case of ADD, it took Rove an entire year to make the president understand, finally resorting to hand signals and peanut butter smeared on his crotch.
Rove also told the Wall Street Journal that he thought Hillary Clinton -- a "tough, tenacious, fatally flawed candidate" -- would win the 2008 presidential nomination. "Then we will sabotage her whole life and plunge America into greater chaos".
Loved by conservatives but a hate figure for many Democrats, Rove said he expected his rival party to be divided over the wireless wiretapping issue while the Republicans should come out top in economic issues closer to the 2008 poll. "But as long as we have a national media that uses oxymorons like 'wireless wiretapping', I think things'll be plenty safe for us to continue our malevolence into perpetuity".
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