G
goose step
Guest
Nobody likes a story that ends badly, but i call this a story that ends in progress. if it started worse than how it ended, at least you've made progress.
So its not quite a tragedy, and it won't warm your heart that much, and it may even leave everyone with the feeling that we are all useless in this world. Born to never quit because it just won't end. It is Christmas after all. At least that comes to an end.
She's just dull and average. Or so it seems. If that weren't cliche enough. But those type of people have rare talents of being dull because she's seen what its like to be exciting and that's very scary. it gives you pimples. You don't have time to do your laundry. You perpetually miss new episodes of The Simpsons. You eat dinner out of a smelly fast food bag of such powering linger that it hangs in the air hours after consumption. All your money is floating up around your eyeballs, sloshing you back and forth as you make another awkward trip to the bathroom to clear it all out, kneeling on the floor, and calling your friends on your cell phone from within the stalls, drunk dialing because this is the first time in a few days you've returned their phone calls. And in those moments, you just don't really know what you want to get yourself into.
She studied the lines in the bathroom tile and realized she had been here way too often. she leaned down and looked under the door to see if anyone was outside. this was her private moment, not to be rushed. but there was not quiet. she could feel it.
^he is coming. what will you do?^
that thought again that just doesn't go away. she muttered "ah f***" and leaned her head against the wall. she knew she was crazy. and it was fueled by perpetual boredom. There was something out there more than what her tiny hands were capable of grasping, oh god did she want it so badly. and that's what got her to get up and reclaim her spot again.
But he knew as well, in those giant eyes, framed in genteel kindness. He liked to watch and it thrilled him to think that he was like a tax collector in the night. He was breathing quietly back stage, not saying a word to anyone. All those people, involved in the most intimate of his makings, secure against the world that she belonged to, and because of their pomposity, they didn't know.
And the show started.
She had managed to climb her way to the side of the stage, but not at the barrier where she could have been sure. All that assuredness. All that rejection of doubt came to a screeching halt. She felt dark and small and lost and began to hate herself worse than at any point as she felt like she was 4 years old and staring up from knee-high angle to this man who could crush her at any moment.
He came on stage to a giant roar and fit his entrance with equal eccentricity to the love. He roared "hello!" but there was a gesture of his body and waving of his hand that was beckoning for more than what the audience understood him to be asking.
Oh my he is so big...as he pulled at his collar, following the metal chain down from his throat to the hair of his chest, where it rested tauntingly in a place nobody else could touch.
How she envied that chain. "that cheap trinket is no more worthy than i am."
but it smirked back at her like the girl who won.
and she stood there in fright and shame at this when he finally chose that side of the stage to ponder over. she showed no emotion for fear of showing the wrong one. he reached out and her hand twitched in unsuredness of where it should go.
he saw the air quickly leaving his chest, and she thought, "oh god, what did i do?"
but he grabbed on instead and pulled quickly. security guards had tried to grab her leg, thinking this was all her fault, that she wanted to hurt someone, and this unexpected jerk sent both of them falling onto the stage.
she sprung around and saw someone from the wings rushing at her. she was going to be tackled and she collapsed into a ball and rolled with her back towards the attacker.
a hand rubbed her shoulder and she looked to see the other hand wave him off.
"its OK. she's mine to deal with"
with that she began to sit up a bit, and was met by those giant eyes peeping into hers. full of knowledge of what she was. she pressed herself into him, her head on his shoulder, body formed around the countour of his right side. clothes, cologne, voice all of some other world she herself was not part of, but was invited to touch.
they sat on stage like that for a minute, head working its way down his chest. her arms wrapped tightly around him for in that moment, she finally had what she had been denied for so long, even without war or famine. she couldn't hear the crowds. all she could hear was his beating heart and his breath and felt his humanity. she breathed it in and blinked slowly as it overpowered her mind.
he put his hand under her chin. she didn't know if in front of all these people he would do something that bold, and she stayed uncomprehending in the face of what it meant.
he leaned into her ear, "i'm sorry. you can't stay."
with that she grabbed his hand. "why not?"
"you know why..." he pushed her hair back from her face.
"there is no reason why we can't. its not written anywhere that it has to be so barren and so cold."
"dear and it would make me so happy, but you're more important than us. your life would be ruined and you'd have no chance."
"but i'm nobody! I want to stay a nobody. I will never be happy any other way. and you don't know how it will turn out. maybe you're wrong."
he squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek. "good bye"
"but wait...." and other arms were firmly locked around her with no effort, dragging her towards the exit doors while she cried the entire time. sick of everything. sick of being a pawn. sick of being left with such horrible decisions to face alone. the door opened upon a smelly ally way where she was left in the night to kneel beside the dumpster and clenching her fist for lack of having anything to crush but herself, having nowhere to go, facing the death of it all and no reincarnation. and tired now that the voice that was egging her on, gave her almost nothing to eat and expected her to live.
So its not quite a tragedy, and it won't warm your heart that much, and it may even leave everyone with the feeling that we are all useless in this world. Born to never quit because it just won't end. It is Christmas after all. At least that comes to an end.
She's just dull and average. Or so it seems. If that weren't cliche enough. But those type of people have rare talents of being dull because she's seen what its like to be exciting and that's very scary. it gives you pimples. You don't have time to do your laundry. You perpetually miss new episodes of The Simpsons. You eat dinner out of a smelly fast food bag of such powering linger that it hangs in the air hours after consumption. All your money is floating up around your eyeballs, sloshing you back and forth as you make another awkward trip to the bathroom to clear it all out, kneeling on the floor, and calling your friends on your cell phone from within the stalls, drunk dialing because this is the first time in a few days you've returned their phone calls. And in those moments, you just don't really know what you want to get yourself into.
She studied the lines in the bathroom tile and realized she had been here way too often. she leaned down and looked under the door to see if anyone was outside. this was her private moment, not to be rushed. but there was not quiet. she could feel it.
^he is coming. what will you do?^
that thought again that just doesn't go away. she muttered "ah f***" and leaned her head against the wall. she knew she was crazy. and it was fueled by perpetual boredom. There was something out there more than what her tiny hands were capable of grasping, oh god did she want it so badly. and that's what got her to get up and reclaim her spot again.
But he knew as well, in those giant eyes, framed in genteel kindness. He liked to watch and it thrilled him to think that he was like a tax collector in the night. He was breathing quietly back stage, not saying a word to anyone. All those people, involved in the most intimate of his makings, secure against the world that she belonged to, and because of their pomposity, they didn't know.
And the show started.
She had managed to climb her way to the side of the stage, but not at the barrier where she could have been sure. All that assuredness. All that rejection of doubt came to a screeching halt. She felt dark and small and lost and began to hate herself worse than at any point as she felt like she was 4 years old and staring up from knee-high angle to this man who could crush her at any moment.
He came on stage to a giant roar and fit his entrance with equal eccentricity to the love. He roared "hello!" but there was a gesture of his body and waving of his hand that was beckoning for more than what the audience understood him to be asking.
Oh my he is so big...as he pulled at his collar, following the metal chain down from his throat to the hair of his chest, where it rested tauntingly in a place nobody else could touch.
How she envied that chain. "that cheap trinket is no more worthy than i am."
but it smirked back at her like the girl who won.
and she stood there in fright and shame at this when he finally chose that side of the stage to ponder over. she showed no emotion for fear of showing the wrong one. he reached out and her hand twitched in unsuredness of where it should go.
he saw the air quickly leaving his chest, and she thought, "oh god, what did i do?"
but he grabbed on instead and pulled quickly. security guards had tried to grab her leg, thinking this was all her fault, that she wanted to hurt someone, and this unexpected jerk sent both of them falling onto the stage.
she sprung around and saw someone from the wings rushing at her. she was going to be tackled and she collapsed into a ball and rolled with her back towards the attacker.
a hand rubbed her shoulder and she looked to see the other hand wave him off.
"its OK. she's mine to deal with"
with that she began to sit up a bit, and was met by those giant eyes peeping into hers. full of knowledge of what she was. she pressed herself into him, her head on his shoulder, body formed around the countour of his right side. clothes, cologne, voice all of some other world she herself was not part of, but was invited to touch.
they sat on stage like that for a minute, head working its way down his chest. her arms wrapped tightly around him for in that moment, she finally had what she had been denied for so long, even without war or famine. she couldn't hear the crowds. all she could hear was his beating heart and his breath and felt his humanity. she breathed it in and blinked slowly as it overpowered her mind.
he put his hand under her chin. she didn't know if in front of all these people he would do something that bold, and she stayed uncomprehending in the face of what it meant.
he leaned into her ear, "i'm sorry. you can't stay."
with that she grabbed his hand. "why not?"
"you know why..." he pushed her hair back from her face.
"there is no reason why we can't. its not written anywhere that it has to be so barren and so cold."
"dear and it would make me so happy, but you're more important than us. your life would be ruined and you'd have no chance."
"but i'm nobody! I want to stay a nobody. I will never be happy any other way. and you don't know how it will turn out. maybe you're wrong."
he squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek. "good bye"
"but wait...." and other arms were firmly locked around her with no effort, dragging her towards the exit doors while she cried the entire time. sick of everything. sick of being a pawn. sick of being left with such horrible decisions to face alone. the door opened upon a smelly ally way where she was left in the night to kneel beside the dumpster and clenching her fist for lack of having anything to crush but herself, having nowhere to go, facing the death of it all and no reincarnation. and tired now that the voice that was egging her on, gave her almost nothing to eat and expected her to live.
