setting yourself up for an awkward rejection.

[Puddle]

So i am in detroit, and there is this woman i don't really know that well, that i met a couple years ago. We hit it off very well then (hung out for a week with a group of friends). I saw her last year (once again hung out for a week with a group of friends) and we were still going ok, though not as strong (there were outside forces in the way). The thing is, should i pursue something? i mean, i am very shy, but it's because of a deep-rooted fear of rejection...and humiliation.

And it may be kinda obsessive and pathetic. which is humiliating and rejecting. Oh the most horrible of cycles!!!

 

[Theo]

You should pursue it since you obviously wanna. Then you can discover how horrible she really is and spare yourself years of regret.

 

[sonof77]

I'd say push yourself to make it clear how you feel. Your shyness may be one of the things that make you attractive toward the object of desire.

 

[Busy Clippers]

So i am in detroit, and there is this woman i don't really know that well, that i met a couple years ago. We hit it off very well then (hung out for a week with a group of friends). I saw her last year (once again hung out for a week with a group of friends) and we were still going ok, though not as strong (there were outside forces in the way). The thing is, should i pursue something? i mean, i am very shy, but it's because of a deep-rooted fear of rejection...and humiliation.

And it may be kinda obsessive and pathetic. which is humiliating and rejecting. Oh the most horrible of cycles!!!

Hi, BC, here, poster child of obsessive and pathetic! Here's my question: how much and how long would you regret it if you didn't make some attempt? If you're cool (and you're totally cool) and laid back about it you might be surprised at the result. Breezy is good; be breezy. Fun. Just call her. No, listen to Neverplayed Symphonies and then decide. I know what I think. How much more humiliating is it not to have tried?! I don't envy you men because so much of this initiative-taking stuff is still left up to you, and if I were male I'd be in a monastery or something. I still might go to a monastery.

I can also tell you that there have been cool guys who were interested in me who I hadn't actually considered as potential boyfriends (because I hate myself), and when they made some awkward announcement or sudden lunge I was taken aback (yes, adult males). They interpreted my surprise as rejection ("I need time" means "I need time"), but if you decide to go for it on that level make sure you choose your moment well.

 

[The Crime Of The Century!]

I'd say it depends really. If you've been rejected a lot in the past, you'll probably be rejected again. It seems to me that some people have incredibly good luck in love, and others are cursed with dreadful luck from the day they are born. If you fall into the latter category I feel for you.

How well do you take rejection? Because there is always the off chance you will be rejected. If you're able to take it, then just approach her. If you're not able to take rejection, don't. I myself would never in a zillion years make the first move, since there is no-one on this planet is going to have the smug, ego-boosting satisfaction of rejecting me.

Good luck!

 

[The Crime Of The Century!]

Breezy is good; be breezy.

.

Why is breezy good?

Just call her. No, listen to Neverplayed Symphonies and then decide. I know what I think. How much more humiliating is it not to have tried?! I don't envy you men because so much of this initiative-taking stuff is still left up to you.

.

No it isn't, not these days. These days it's the woman who has to offer herself up like a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter approximately two seconds after meeting a man she is interested in. If she doesn't she is bypassed.

I can also tell you that there have been cool guys who were interested in me who I hadn't actually considered as potential boyfriends (because I hate myself), and when they made some awkward announcement or sudden lunge I was taken aback (yes, adult males). They interpreted my surprise as rejection ("I need time" means "I need time"), but if you decide to go for it on that level make sure you choose your moment well.

Lesson learned: if you want to be in a relationship, you must pander to the fragile male ego.

 

[Oh my god. it's Robby!]

rejection is bad
but from a fool is worse?

 

[Busy Clippers]

.

Why is breezy good?


.

No it isn't, not these days. These days it's the woman who has to offer herself up like a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter approximately two seconds after meeting a man she is interested in. If she doesn't she is bypassed.





Lesson learned: if you want to be in a relationship, you must pander to the fragile male ego.

Sorry, I went AWOL from the Gender Wars a long time ago. Good luck to you.

 

[The Crime Of The Century!]

Sorry, I went AWOL from the Gender Wars a long time ago. Good luck to you.

I have no idea what gender war you are referring to. Explain, please.