Do you ever come to the Board just to see if a Certain Someone had posted anything?

[holy smoke detector]

I love that song

especially when he sings 'I don't want a lover I just want to be seen ... IN THE BACK OF YOUR CAR!' all warbly. And those angry guitars! They make me jump on the bed!

 

[suzanne]

I realize that it was my fault....because it was my project..

> hehehe... no... you went to Curitiba to visit me but you`ve
> completely repented for what you`ve done...

Repented? For what? I find this funny that many guys I meet on-line think that I should repent for something.

People like to imagine some extravagant way that I should be behaving.

> this was fine...

> oh, what a scary dream indeed... when the worker said it to you
> you were too affraid. How did you wake up?

I woke up because my alarm went off. Yes, that is completely cliche, but I really don't get a full 8 hours every night, so I imagine getting up must cut into my dreamy time.

> Are you still affraid of this crazy guy? I understand you, this
> is terrible...

No. The funny thing is that in life, I actually have some college girl living below me. I've sort of adopted her cat, and she doesn't know it. Every time I open my door, he always runs inside and flops down.

> Yes this is a mistake sometimes... but frequently we just
> haven`t the time to see the world outside. Our children occupy
> almost all our time...

I haven't even come close to approaching that stage yet.

> Did you do it again? I will be happy if so.

No. Not for a while. I've got to keep on playing assistant traffic manager until they get the person they hired over me up to speed to be able to fulfill that task, and therefore, no soup for me.

> It seems that some dialects in Portugal are more different
> towards other ones than the "normal" Portuguese from
> Portugal in relation to the Brazilian Portuguese. In Brazil
> there`s not much difference among the Portuguese spoken in
> different regions - I think this is because we lve in a new
> country.

well, you would think not because of all the other people who have immigrated in.

Within America, i think I like the Boston accent the best. Sounds weird, but Jonathan Richman dryly cracking with that accent kills me.

> Certainly - this is why the world will develop a standard
> English, I think - and this language will tend to be stable.

You can't develop a standard language. Have you ever read English from merely 400 years ago? All the Thine's and Thou's you could ever want.

> Oh, certainly.

> Anyway, I don`t think about being famous anymore - it was an
> obseession of mine when I was younger, but I simply don`t care
> about it anymore.

When I was about 18ish, I kept thinking that I had to be famous by the time I was 23 or I would never be at all. I reasoned that since many of the people I idolized became famous around that age, i should as well.

But of course, thats when you live in a town out in the sticks and you keep thinking that once you leave that place, the world was just bursting with opportunity in the big cities, and all you had to do was march up to them and they would drop to their knees in gratitude that such a person as yourself has given them the time of day. They would all want me to write scripts for Saturday Night Live, and I would host my own show because they realize their writers were stale. Now, I realize, that it's Ok with them that their writers are stale.

These days, I just don't know. I can't help but think of all the other things I've missed out on in the past few years, thinking that I sacrificed those things in the name of the things I thought I should be doing. It's sort of like the Blair Witch Project towards the end where all the @#!!! is going down, and all they are doing is sitting in the dark wishing for mashed potatoes.

> The Bruzamolins ("Mill`s firer) were people who put fire in
> mills - they probably have killed one or two people...

so you theorize that on a name? they maybe made some bread, but I bet is wasn't with soylent green.

> Oh yeah - I`ve never thought about it - and you are probably
> correct now.

> Anyway, the Americans wanted to conquer the Indians` territory,
> what did`nt happen with the Nazis.

no? What do you call the invasion of Poland?

> But I don`t know.

> This may be good sometimes... but not all the time, for sure!

> Oh, this is very very good, don`t you think?

I dont' complain about it.

> Anyway, I forgot to say something about Mario Peixoto that is
> completely related with our conversations: he was a very rich
> man - he had time to write 12 hours a day. He wanted to be a new
> Marcel Proust (who was very rich too), I think.
]
That was a lucky guy. Money. I think Graham Greene was sort of the same way, but supposedly, he only wrote for half an hour each day and that was it. He hung out all the rest of the time.

 

[Fabricio]

Re: I realize that it was my fault....because it was my project..

> Repented? For what?

You repented for coming to Curitiba and for staying two weeks here...

>I find this funny that many guys I meet
> on-line think that I should repent for something.

But I didn`t say you should repent for something - I dreamt about it.

Anyway I think if you came here you would certainly be repented... hehehe...

> People like to imagine some extravagant way that I should be
> behaving.

People like extravagant ways of behavng...

> I woke up because my alarm went off. Yes, that is completely
> cliche, but I really don't get a full 8 hours every night, so I
> imagine getting up must cut into my dreamy time.

Interesting idea indeed!

But I read somewhere that if you have a 1/2 hour sleep this sleep is a complete one, with all phases of a normal sleep in it.

> No. The funny thing is that in life, I actually have some
> college girl living below me. I've sort of adopted her cat, and
> she doesn't know it. Every time I open my door, he always runs
> inside and flops down.

And you like him? You seem to like cats as well as Morrissey, don`t you? I have never have one - just dogs.

> I haven't even come close to approaching that stage yet.

When we are not in this stage we have no idea of what a child signifies, in terms of tireness and love.

> No. Not for a while. I've got to keep on playing assistant
> traffic manager until they get the person they hired over me up
> to speed to be able to fulfill that task, and therefore, no soup
> for me.

oh... but you may take this "person"`s place, don`t you?

> well, you would think not because of all the other people who
> have immigrated in.

oh really, they`ve changed the language a little bit - but not too much.

> Within America, i think I like the Boston accent the best.
> Sounds weird, but Jonathan Richman dryly cracking with that
> accent kills me.

Oh, I have never heard somebody from Boston, I think... and I think the Texas accent is the most difficult for a foreigner to understand - I remember I when I went to a International Congress that when somebody from New Zealand or Australia or from Texas spoke I had to use the simultaneous translator...

> You can't develop a standard language. Have you ever read
> English from merely 400 years ago? All the Thine's and Thou's
> you could ever want.

But there`s always some standard language that specialist choose to be the standard. In Brazil the official accent is from Rio de Janeiro with some differences at the "rrrr" pronunciation.

> When I was about 18ish, I kept thinking that I had to be famous
> by the time I was 23 or I would never be at all. I reasoned that
> since many of the people I idolized became famous around that
> age, i should as well.

I thought this way too - and I thought I had to be rich before 35 too. I don`t know anything about it now...

> But of course, thats when you live in a town out in the sticks
> and you keep thinking that once you leave that place, the world
> was just bursting with opportunity in the big cities, and all
> you had to do was march up to them and they would drop to their
> knees in gratitude that such a person as yourself has given them
> the time of day. They would all want me to write scripts for
> Saturday Night Live, and I would host my own show because they
> realize their writers were stale. Now, I realize, that it's Ok
> with them that their writers are stale.

To me it was the same with money - some people told me I would earn a great amount of money in an excellent job soon. But it didn`t happen. But I didn`t lost my faith, I have to think.

> These days, I just don't know. I can't help but think of all the
> other things I've missed out on in the past few years, thinking
> that I sacrificed those things in the name of the things I
> thought I should be doing. It's sort of like the Blair Witch
> Project towards the end where all the @#!!! is going down, and
> all they are doing is sitting in the dark wishing for mashed
> potatoes.

I understand - but you didn`t have to lose your faith, I think.

> so you theorize that on a name? they maybe made some bread, but
> I bet is wasn't with soylent green.

No, I talked once with an Italian person who really said the Bruzamolins took fire on mills... hehehe... serious.

> no? What do you call the invasion of Poland?

Oh really - but I was thinking about the killing of jews, who didn`t have a territory, but I didn`t explain well, I see. (I dreamt last night that I was a teacher and I made a speech in my class saying horrible things about the Nazis - I am really a teacher, but I never talk about these kind of subjects in my classes...)

> I dont' complain about it.

I understand.

> ]
> That was a lucky guy. Money. I think Graham Greene was sort of
> the same way, but supposedly, he only wrote for half an hour
> each day and that was it. He hung out all the rest of the time.

Lucky man he was - and I think he even earned still more money because of his great books, didn`t he? I think Mario Peixoto didn`t earn a buck - he died poor.

And I began to read his literary works - it`s really too much difficult to understand, I don`t know if I`ll still continue to do it...

 

[suzanne]

gymkata!

> You repented for coming to Curitiba and for staying two weeks
> here...

Yes, but what would I be doing there?

> But I didn`t say you should repent for something - I dreamt
> about it.

> Anyway I think if you came here you would certainly be
> repented... hehehe...

I don't think your wife would let you repent.

> People like extravagant ways of behavng...

I'm boring....I'm exciting...I'm boring...I'm exciting....

> Interesting idea indeed!

> But I read somewhere that if you have a 1/2 hour sleep this
> sleep is a complete one, with all phases of a normal sleep in
> it.

But why am I so tired in the mornings after 4 hours of sleep?

> And you like him? You seem to like cats as well as Morrissey,
> don`t you? I have never have one - just dogs.

I like cats and very small dogs. Most dogs are too over zealous or they really have heavy dog odor. I like lapcats the most. I had a cat growing up that always liked to get in my lap, and he would stay for hours, and I would get tired and throw him off, and he would turn around and get back on like I didn't do anything.

> When we are not in this stage we have no idea of what a child
> signifies, in terms of tireness and love.

my mom has some grand hopes, but I'm like, "look...i'm rarely home, i'm not in any sort of relationship, and i make just enough money for one person....where do you think this baby is coming from?"

> oh... but you may take this "person"`s place, don`t
> you?

No. That's not how it works, Fabricio.

Here is the system:

I do a good job for a year and a half, and carry half of the work load over the last 3 months as most people either with brains or the connections are leaving in droves, while I'm stuck there after having an unsuccesful job hunt, and i'm rewarded for my hard effort by having some girl from outside of the station lie on her resume about her managerial and work experience and beating me out for the position.

It's a cruel joke, really. I would leave if I could, and now, seeing her over there, happily chatting about her good luck, is like having my nose rubbed in the fact that i can't do anything about it either way.

Also, I think my boss had a mission to hire one more person who didn't know what in the hell was going on.

> oh really, they`ve changed the language a little bit - but not
> too much.

> Oh, I have never heard somebody from Boston, I think... and I
> think the Texas accent is the most difficult for a foreigner to
> understand - I remember I when I went to a International
> Congress that when somebody from New Zealand or Australia or
> from Texas spoke I had to use the simultaneous translator...

heh. i sound worse when i'm drunk. suddenly, people REALLY notice it.

What were you doing at the international congress?

> But there`s always some standard language that specialist choose
> to be the standard. In Brazil the official accent is from Rio de
> Janeiro with some differences at the "rrrr"
> pronunciation.

"We look to Rio de Janiero for the language we use..Curitiba is dead, Curitiba's dead..."

> I thought this way too - and I thought I had to be rich before
> 35 too. I don`t know anything about it now...

Looks like we're in the same club.

Here's to the overachievers with no goal....

> To me it was the same with money - some people told me I would
> earn a great amount of money in an excellent job soon. But it
> didn`t happen. But I didn`t lost my faith, I have to think.

I know what you mean. People told me that with a college degree I would be making good money. They forgot to mention that you only saw that money if you were into computers, engineering, some of the natural sciences, medicine, and law.

> I understand - but you didn`t have to lose your faith, I think.

Fabricio, this has not been my year....after it had not been my decade.

I'm very tired. It's really hard to care anymore, because it's like, "well, this choice is wrong, and that choice didn't pay off, and um, that's nice, but what the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

"Rest and do nothing because it's the only thing you do quite well" is such good advice. I did that on Saturday as I felt sick. I managed to make my way up the road to the used bookstore before i felt too bad and come straight home, but I managed to find a used copy of Madame Bovary (in the original French) and Peepholism with Moz pix.

> No, I talked once with an Italian person who really said the
> Bruzamolins took fire on mills... hehehe... serious.

aha. if you come over, i'll hide the matches from you.

...if that's the way you mean "fire" because i'm not exactly sure...

> Oh really - but I was thinking about the killing of jews, who
> didn`t have a territory, but I didn`t explain well, I see. (I
> dreamt last night that I was a teacher and I made a speech in my
> class saying horrible things about the Nazis - I am really a
> teacher, but I never talk about these kind of subjects in my
> classes...)

why not?

> I understand.

> Lucky man he was - and I think he even earned still more money
> because of his great books, didn`t he? I think Mario Peixoto
> didn`t earn a buck - he died poor.

that's the big lie about being an artist. you don't make any money even if you are good.

> And I began to read his literary works - it`s really too much
> difficult to understand, I don`t know if I`ll still continue to
> do it...

another problem: artists who think that if you don't understand what they are saying, they have done their job.

 

[Fabricio]

Re: gymkata!

> Yes, but what would I be doing there?

Oh, you came here to visit me!

I think that`s why you`ve repented...

> I don't think your wife would let you repent.

Why?

Oh, I didn`t say you would be repented for coming to Curitiba because of my wife anyway... - I said that because, as you know, "Curitiba is dead"...

> I'm boring....I'm exciting...I'm boring...I'm exciting....

hehehe - anyway, people who aren`t extravagant are simply boring.

Morrissey is extravagant and you like him (as well as me - but perhaps we don`t like him the same way).

> But why am I so tired in the mornings after 4 hours of sleep?

It seems it`s not enough to have just 4 hours of sleep but all the phases of sleep are covered in a 4-hours sleep.

> I like cats and very small dogs. Most dogs are too over zealous
> or they really have heavy dog odor.

Oh yeah - I like small dogs too and it`s too tiring giving a bath in my dog (she is called Chérie), so I don`t do it so frequently as I should.

> I like lapcats the most. I
> had a cat growing up that always liked to get in my lap, and he
> would stay for hours, and I would get tired and throw him off,
> and he would turn around and get back on like I didn't do
> anything.

hehehe - he seems a nice cat!

My dog likes to stay between my legs when I watch TV - she cab stay there for hours...

> my mom has some grand hopes, but I'm like, "look...i'm
> rarely home, i'm not in any sort of relationship, and i make
> just enough money for one person....where do you think this baby
> is coming from?"

I understand...

> No. That's not how it works, Fabricio.

> Here is the system:

> I do a good job for a year and a half, and carry half of the
> work load over the last 3 months as most people either with
> brains or the connections are leaving in droves, while I'm stuck
> there after having an unsuccesful job hunt, and i'm rewarded for
> my hard effort by having some girl from outside of the station
> lie on her resume about her managerial and work experience and
> beating me out for the position.

> It's a cruel joke, really. I would leave if I could, and now,
> seeing her over there, happily chatting about her good luck, is
> like having my nose rubbed in the fact that i can't do anything
> about it either way.

Oh, this is really really cruel, I feel for you. Is she older than you?

In the job I was it was impossible to a new engineer to earn more money than an old one - so I saw some men doing anything all day long and even my boss wanted to change the situation, because I did much more work than them, but the Public Enterprise where I was didn`t permit it. So I had the opportunity coming out of my job, and I did it happily.

> Also, I think my boss had a mission to hire one more person who
> didn't know what in the hell was going on.

this is the consequence of "consultants" mode, isn`t it? They never know anything about the jobs people have to do.

> heh. i sound worse when i'm drunk. suddenly, people REALLY
> notice it.

I really really would like seeing it - I would perhaps be drunk too. You would see how bad is my English spoken.

> What were you doing at the international congress?

hehehe...

well, when I worked with Hydrology I made some articles in Brazilian technical magazines and Congresses. My boss knew I liked to research and when there was an International Congress of Meteorological Radars in São Paulo she said I should go to see it. (after the end of the Congress I saw Teresa Salgueiro - singer of Madredeus - in the São Paulo Airport and she gave me an autograph - oh I pratically fainted... she is the singer I liked the most, and my daughter is called Teresa because of hers.)

But being a researcher in Brazil is pratically the same thing as being a loser. When I perceived it I came out of Hydrolgy.

> "We look to Rio de Janiero for the language we
> use..Curitiba is dead, Curitiba's dead..."

hehehe... great...

you certainly perceived Curitiba is dead when you began to cry in my dream...

> Looks like we're in the same club.

> Here's to the overachievers with no goal....

yes...

anyway I saw if you are a really honest person in Brazil your chances diminishing...

> I know what you mean. People told me that with a college degree
> I would be making good money. They forgot to mention that you
> only saw that money if you were into computers, engineering,
> some of the natural sciences, medicine, and law.

In Brazil you only see the money with law, corruption and computers. Engineers in general have no chance.

> Fabricio, this has not been my year....after it had not been my
> decade.

> I'm very tired. It's really hard to care anymore, because it's
> like, "well, this choice is wrong, and that choice didn't
> pay off, and um, that's nice, but what the hell am I supposed to
> do with this?"

I understand you completely - but there are successfull people who felt exactly the way as you are feeling today, so we have a chance.

> "Rest and do nothing because it's the only thing you do
> quite well" is such good advice. I did that on Saturday as
> I felt sick. I managed to make my way up the road to the used
> bookstore before i felt too bad and come straight home, but I
> managed to find a used copy of Madame Bovary (in the original
> French) and Peepholism with Moz pix.

ça veut dire au moins que ton français est assez bon, n`est-ce pas?

quand j`achète un bon livre ou un bon cd mon humour toujours s`améliore. J`ai acheté quelques excellents cds pendant ces derniers jours: Schubert, Bach et Frank Sinatra (je me tourne plus vieux jour à jour).

> aha. if you come over, i'll hide the matches from you.

hehehehe...

> ...if that's the way you mean "fire" because i'm not
> exactly sure...

I meant that with the Bruzamolin - but if I`ll go to Texas perhaps "fire" will have a different meaning...

> why not?

I don`t know really. I am a little bit affraid my students wouldn`t like if I talked about other subjects and this is a (failed, in most part of time) way too of controlling the class.

Anyway, I always talk about Coritiba Foot Ball Club in my classes.

> that's the big lie about being an artist. you don't make any
> money even if you are good.

This is the case of Mario Peixoto when he didn`t permit Limite had a "normal" commercial life, what is really strange.

> another problem: artists who think that if you don't understand
> what they are saying, they have done their job.

This is really terrible, and there are too many artists acting this way.

I wouldn`t like to recognize that the same author of the film I like the most wrote a book impossible to read and too much based on Proust - but now this seem the truth about the book O Inútil de Cada Um to me.

 

[suzanne]

Re: gymkata!

> Oh, you came here to visit me!

> I think that`s why you`ve repented...

> Why?

> Oh, I didn`t say you would be repented for coming to Curitiba
> because of my wife anyway... - I said that because, as you know,
> "Curitiba is dead"...

No, I was saying that your wife would be letting you sleep outside if I came over.

> hehehe - anyway, people who aren`t extravagant are simply
> boring.

Most people think I'm boring. What do you say to that?

> Morrissey is extravagant and you like him (as well as me - but
> perhaps we don`t like him the same way).

No, we probably don't, and if we did, I would get incredibly jealous...

> It seems it`s not enough to have just 4 hours of sleep but all
> the phases of sleep are covered in a 4-hours sleep.

it still doesn't help that i can't sleep worth a crap.

> Oh yeah - I like small dogs too and it`s too tiring giving a
> bath in my dog (she is called Chérie), so I don`t do it so
> frequently as I should.

I should rephrase that:

I like small dogs when i don't own them. Especially if they aren't too bright and have a hard time grasping the concept of holding it until they go outside.

> hehehe - he seems a nice cat!

he died about 4 years ago. poor old fella was so decrepit that you would pet him and he would almost fall over.

we do we have to go through the cruelty of old age?

> My dog likes to stay between my legs when I watch TV - she cab
> stay there for hours...

> I understand...

> Oh, this is really really cruel, I feel for you. Is she older
> than you?

not much older. couple of years difference, perhaps.

But it's odd seeing her in action knowing what i know. It suddenly means something completely different when she asks for help.

It makes me bitter that everyone still comes to me as usual with all the things they need sorting out. What is "managerial" experience if you aren't mediating the problems of others? Oh well. Sometimes, I get the feeling that my boss wishes that I were an idiot.

We should not be depressed as someone else has finally seemed to have taken an interest...and oddly, its not in TV.

> In the job I was it was impossible to a new engineer to earn
> more money than an old one - so I saw some men doing anything
> all day long and even my boss wanted to change the situation,
> because I did much more work than them, but the Public
> Enterprise where I was didn`t permit it. So I had the
> opportunity coming out of my job, and I did it happily.

you work for the government? yes, they too over here have their payscale per year....

> this is the consequence of "consultants" mode, isn`t
> it? They never know anything about the jobs people have to do.

No, this is the consequence of idiot mode and of being a poor judge of character.

> I really really would like seeing it - I would perhaps be drunk
> too. You would see how bad is my English spoken.

> hehehe...

> well, when I worked with Hydrology I made some articles in
> Brazilian technical magazines and Congresses. My boss knew I
> liked to research and when there was an International Congress
> of Meteorological Radars in São Paulo she said I should go to
> see it. (after the end of the Congress I saw Teresa Salgueiro -
> singer of Madredeus - in the São Paulo Airport and she gave me
> an autograph - oh I pratically fainted... she is the singer I
> liked the most, and my daughter is called Teresa because of
> hers.)

wow...aren't you the smart guy!

> But being a researcher in Brazil is pratically the same thing as
> being a loser. When I perceived it I came out of Hydrolgy.

But you were at the congress! How man times do you think I've been asked to appear in front of the international congress to display my adeptness at finding a commercial by it's tape code? Hydrology doesn't sound like the land of losers to me.

> hehehe... great...

> you certainly perceived Curitiba is dead when you began to cry
> in my dream...

I think everywhere is dead....

> yes...

> anyway I saw if you are a really honest person in Brazil your
> chances diminishing...

how many of them do you think there are in america?

> In Brazil you only see the money with law, corruption and
> computers. Engineers in general have no chance.

that is really weird.

> I understand you completely - but there are successfull people
> who felt exactly the way as you are feeling today, so we have a
> chance.

enh. I think I need a vacation more than anything. I want a year off from everything in general. I think I would like to see Australia before going through southern Italy and eventually finishing in Ireland. I had a friend who went on an African safari and got malaria. I know I couldn't go. Mosquitos love me and I would be dead in a week from all 4 strains of the parasite.

> ça veut dire au moins que ton français est assez bon, n`est-ce
> pas?

it's OK. I can get the jist of what is being said many times.

> quand j`achète un bon livre ou un bon cd mon humour toujours
> s`améliore. J`ai acheté quelques excellents cds pendant ces
> derniers jours: Schubert, Bach et Frank Sinatra (je me tourne
> plus vieux jour à jour).

I hadn't bought anything in well over a month. I've completely misplaced Anthology II of the Billy Bragg/Wilco collaboration with Woody Guthrie lyrics. Jewel case without a CD. It's really sad.

> hehehehe...

> I meant that with the Bruzamolin - but if I`ll go to Texas
> perhaps "fire" will have a different meaning...

Many times it means to open fire, or shoot someone.

> I don`t know really. I am a little bit affraid my students
> wouldn`t like if I talked about other subjects and this is a
> (failed, in most part of time) way too of controlling the class.

> Anyway, I always talk about Coritiba Foot Ball Club in my
> classes.

*sigh*

See? If I were in your class, you would completely lose me because I find WWII much more interesting.

> This is the case of Mario Peixoto when he didn`t permit Limite
> had a "normal" commercial life, what is really
> strange.

> This is really terrible, and there are too many artists acting
> this way.

well, let them delude themselves into thinking they are misunderstood geniuses.

> I wouldn`t like to recognize that the same author of the film I
> like the most wrote a book impossible to read and too much based
> on Proust - but now this seem the truth about the book O Inútil
> de Cada Um to me.

He may be poor at writing books, but better at visually expressing his words with film.....

 

[Fabricio]

Re: gymkata!

> No, I was saying that your wife would be letting you sleep
> outside if I came over.

hehehe - does it mean if you came here you would have bad intentions?

but if not, my wife wouldn`t be that bad...

> Most people think I'm boring. What do you say to that?

I say you are one of the most intelligent people I have ever known - and you know I am not lying...

I think the people who say you are boring are idiots.

> No, we probably don't, and if we did, I would get incredibly
> jealous...

Jealous of Morrissey? Why?

I think I like him as a son likes a father - and I think you like him as a wife like his husband or something.

> it still doesn't help that i can't sleep worth a crap.

how many hours you sleep everydayday? I usually sleep 5 hours, and sometimes (as now) I`m very sleepy...

> he died about 4 years ago. poor old fella was so decrepit that
> you would pet him and he would almost fall over.

oh, this is terrible, isn`t it?

The decrepitude of old living beings always make me think about Nature and the rule old animals have in it: being the feed of others...

> we do we have to go through the cruelty of old age?

oh, this will be terrible - but what can we do about it?

> not much older. couple of years difference, perhaps.

> But it's odd seeing her in action knowing what i know. It
> suddenly means something completely different when she asks for
> help.

> It makes me bitter that everyone still comes to me as usual with
> all the things they need sorting out. What is
> "managerial" experience if you aren't mediating the
> problems of others? Oh well. Sometimes, I get the feeling that
> my boss wishes that I were an idiot.

Why bosses are almost like that? This is terrible.

I feel most of them simply are affraid of concurrence - so they do everything possible to ruin the career of talented people.

I had two bosses, and firstly I thought they were kind and fair towards myself - suddenly I perceived that they just used my work to brighten their own career, without recognizing my work towards their bosses if possible.

Now I am working with my father, and thank Lord I don`t feel this way anymore.

> We should not be depressed as someone else has finally seemed to
> have taken an interest...and oddly, its not in TV.

I completely agree.

> you work for the government?

I worked, but not anymore.

> yes, they too over here have their
> payscale per year....

This is really terrible - government says it must be like this because they want to prevent injustice and it become unjust itself.

> No, this is the consequence of idiot mode and of being a poor
> judge of character.

I understand...

> wow...aren't you the smart guy!

hey! this was fine!

> But you were at the congress! How man times do you think I've
> been asked to appear in front of the international congress to
> display my adeptness at finding a commercial by it's tape code?

Oh sorry! I was in front just of some national congresses... at the international congress I just saw the speeches.

> Hydrology doesn't sound like the land of losers to me.

You see Suzanne but if Somnium ever read this post he`ll say horrible things about me (again): but the fact is that we live in a country of losers.

In this international congress I saw (in São Paulo!) there were two "great" hydrologists that everybody in that area in Brazil know as two "very well respected scientists". Well, these two men simply didn`t open their mouth in all debates (where people from other countries - principally USA, New Zealand, Australia and England -had brilliant discussions), they just knocked dows their heads with "intelligent" smiles all the time. This is because these two men wanted to earn more money and our Universities are crap. So they had management works and they knew nothing about the sciences discussed in the Congress.

> I think everywhere is dead....

so why did you cry then? ))

> how many of them do you think there are in america?

I don`t know - but it doesn`t seem that corruption is so strong in America as it is in Brazil. (so Somnium comes with his knife...)

> that is really weird.

it`s not weird, it`s tragic: when a country loses two decades as Brazil lost their last ones, civil engineers are the first that suffer: nobody has money to construct anything...

> enh. I think I need a vacation more than anything. I want a year
> off from everything in general. I think I would like to see
> Australia before going through southern Italy and eventually
> finishing in Ireland.

it would be a fine trip, wouldn`t it?

I would like to go to German and to Israel (well, I would love just to sleep a little bit more here... )) )

>I had a friend who went on an African
> safari and got malaria. I know I couldn't go. Mosquitos love me
> and I would be dead in a week from all 4 strains of the
> parasite.

hehe...

My father goes fishing three times a year to the Pantanal (an enormous bog) in the center of Brazil. He took me with him three times and that was enough - the warm weather and the mosquitoes and the fishing were simply horrible.

> it's OK. I can get the jist of what is being said many times.

ne soit pas si modeste! si tu lis Flaubert an français tu as certainemt plus qu`un simple "jist"...

> I hadn't bought anything in well over a month. I've completely
> misplaced Anthology II of the Billy Bragg/Wilco collaboration
> with Woody Guthrie lyrics. Jewel case without a CD. It's really
> sad.

oh, this is really terrible... will you want to buy another one?

> Many times it means to open fire, or shoot someone.

hehehe... this is the Suzanne I like!

but you know it was not... pssst! I`ll stop right here!

> *sigh*

> See? If I were in your class, you would completely lose me
> because I find WWII much more interesting.

Oh, my students have no much more interest than you in my team, unfortunatly... ))

And does it mean WWII?

> He may be poor at writing books, but better at visually
> expressing his words with film.....

Probably this was exacty his case. I think what you said was brillant.

 

[suzanne]

Re: gymkata!

> hehehe - does it mean if you came here you would have bad
> intentions?

I don't think those kind of thoughts and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking that I do....

I was actually worried about you...

> but if not, my wife wouldn`t be that bad...

"Um, Fabricio, where exactly did you meet this American girl from?"

> I say you are one of the most intelligent people I have ever
> known - and you know I am not lying...

Intelligence doesn't equivilate to being an interesting person. Otherwise, Einstein would have had hundreds of illigitimate children running around and most rock stars would be barren...

> I think the people who say you are boring are idiots.

> Jealous of Morrissey? Why?

> I think I like him as a son likes a father - and I think you
> like him as a wife like his husband or something.

Aren't you perceptive!

But you understand where I'm coming from on it, don't you? Who in their right mind would not be sucked in by those furry eyebrows?

> how many hours you sleep everydayday? I usually sleep 5 hours,
> and sometimes (as now) I`m very sleepy...

somewhere in that range. my sleeping patterns are permanently screwed up. after years of doing things from working jobs with night shifts, to living in Scotland, and the assorted college activities that keep you up until 4AM, it's hard to re-establish yourself.

> oh, this is terrible, isn`t it?

> The decrepitude of old living beings always make me think about
> Nature and the rule old animals have in it: being the feed of
> others...

oh, that's pleasant...
I suppose it's a less painless and much quicker way to go than dying of cancer

> oh, this will be terrible - but what can we do about it?

> Why bosses are almost like that? This is terrible.

I don't know. I think part of it is that she is delusional and she imagines getting someone from another place as being akin to having the perfect present sitting under the Christmas tree. You don't know what's in the box, but you're already bored of your current toys and you think that this will make you happy.

> I feel most of them simply are affraid of concurrence - so they
> do everything possible to ruin the career of talented people.

that place is just like highschool....right down to the very bit where you find out about parties the monday after they happened....

> I had two bosses, and firstly I thought they were kind and fair
> towards myself - suddenly I perceived that they just used my
> work to brighten their own career, without recognizing my work
> towards their bosses if possible.

i really felt that way this afternoon and yesterday, as i entered all of the new programming to appease the people in the programming department, did my assigned work, helped the new guy with a major problem, had the people in operations coming and asking me questions, and had random others from the sales department approaching me with things that weren't really supposed to be on my list of things to do, and yet, the new girl who is getting more money and "respect" is sitting there like a lump through all of this because she doesn't know any of it.

> Now I am working with my father, and thank Lord I don`t feel
> this way anymore.

Oh my god. i couldn't work with either of my parents.

> I completely agree.

> I worked, but not anymore.

> This is really terrible - government says it must be like this
> because they want to prevent injustice and it become unjust
> itself.

i understand that. my dad went through the same thing when he worked for the government...

> I understand...

> hey! this was fine!

> Oh sorry! I was in front just of some national congresses... at
> the international congress I just saw the speeches.

sheesh, only a national congress? why on earth did you have me worked up?

> You see Suzanne but if Somnium ever read this post he`ll say
> horrible things about me (again): but the fact is that we live
> in a country of losers.

heh...Somnium said some really nasty things to me as well, so...

> In this international congress I saw (in São Paulo!) there were
> two "great" hydrologists that everybody in that area
> in Brazil know as two "very well respected
> scientists". Well, these two men simply didn`t open their
> mouth in all debates (where people from other countries -
> principally USA, New Zealand, Australia and England -had
> brilliant discussions), they just knocked dows their heads with
> "intelligent" smiles all the time. This is because
> these two men wanted to earn more money and our Universities are
> crap. So they had management works and they knew nothing about
> the sciences discussed in the Congress.

i like those two already...

> so why did you cry then? ))

oh, i always cry when i'm forced to do anything

> I don`t know - but it doesn`t seem that corruption is so strong
> in America as it is in Brazil. (so Somnium comes with his
> knife...)

heh.

America is corrupt. It's very hidden under a sheath of "we must do what's morally right for this poor little country with billions of dollars of oil!"

And as we scoot further and further away from the Cold War, I realize just how little sense it made. China is probably worse, and we don't care because they let us come in and exploit their cheap labor. The Russians wouldn't.

And I also wonder how did being a rich country have anything to do with democracy. The Saudis are incredibly rich, and you'll be hard pressed to call it a democracy.

> it`s not weird, it`s tragic: when a country loses two decades as
> Brazil lost their last ones, civil engineers are the first that
> suffer: nobody has money to construct anything...

that's the problem of being a satellite country. the money flows out, but it doesn't flow in.

I actually saw Ghandi for the first time the other night, and that's a decent illustration of what happens to people who aren't allowed to use their gifts and help themselves earn a living.

> it would be a fine trip, wouldn`t it?

> I would like to go to German and to Israel (well, I would love
> just to sleep a little bit more here... )) )

There was someone I worked with that took a year off for a sabbatical. I really didn't know her that well, but they posted her letters on the bulletin board and I read about her adventures in the middle east and south africa, and boy, talk about being an ugly american tourist, she would go to places and not dress for the occasion...and i mean wearing shorts in Egypt, and she eventually figured out she wasn't supposed to dress like that when the locals started heckling her.

What a wasted trip on such a ninny.

> hehe...

> My father goes fishing three times a year to the Pantanal (an
> enormous bog) in the center of Brazil. He took me with him three
> times and that was enough - the warm weather and the mosquitoes
> and the fishing were simply horrible.

enh.

my dad likes to fish all the time, but i can't imagine him doing it in those conditions...

> ne soit pas si modeste! si tu lis Flaubert an français tu as
> certainemt plus qu`un simple "jist"...

I didn't say I read it, I said I bought it...we'll work on the other aspects of it when I have time.

> oh, this is really terrible... will you want to buy another one?

I have faith that it's somewhere that I haven't looked. i don't throw anything away...I love it, but i'll find a way to live until that moment has passed.

> hehehe... this is the Suzanne I like!

me discussing the aspects of gunplay?

> but you know it was not... pssst! I`ll stop right here!

> Oh, my students have no much more interest than you in my team,
> unfortunatly... ))

Fabricio, there are only a few sports that I like: Kendo, gymnastics, and ice skating. Those are sports of amazing control and balance. Football to me is boring.

> And does it mean WWII?

World War II.

Us English speakers have shortened it as if it were a fastfood restaurant like IHOP or KFC.

> Probably this was exacty his case. I think what you said was
> brillant.

We must always give the benefit of the doubt....if we are feeling up to it.

 

[Fabricio]

Re: gymkata!

> I don't think those kind of thoughts and you should be ashamed
> of yourself for thinking that I do....

oh sorry Suzanne...

> I was actually worried about you...

worried exactly about what?

> "Um, Fabricio, where exactly did you meet this American
> girl from?"

hehehehe...

I don`t know what I should answer - perhaps I would say you are a girl with no bad intentions at all (except perhaps towards Morrissey - but my wife is a Morrissey fan too, she would perhaps be jealous of you because of him and not because of me!)

> Intelligence doesn't equivilate to being an interesting person.

but I think you are more than an interesting person. Don`t you agree?

> Otherwise, Einstein would have had hundreds of illigitimate
> children running around and most rock stars would be barren...

hehehehe - but there are some persons who tends to consider intelligent people as strongly erotic ones someway.

> Aren't you perceptive!

thank you...

have you ever thought I like Morrissey as a son likes a father?

> But you understand where I'm coming from on it, don't you?

Where you came from?

> Who
> in their right mind would not be sucked in by those furry
> eyebrows?

so you are the girl with no bad intentions at all, aren`you?

and you`ll answer you have no bad intentions at all towards me, won`t you?

and I know I`ll deserve this answer.

> somewhere in that range. my sleeping patterns are permanently
> screwed up. after years of doing things from working jobs with
> night shifts, to living in Scotland,

Have you live a longtime in Scotland?

>and the assorted college
> activities that keep you up until 4AM, it's hard to re-establish
> yourself.

I understand you - lately even if I am completely tired and I get to arrive to bed at 2 a.m. I have some difficulties to sleep before 3 a.m.

But I have never a good sleeping pattern - I`ve been awake until 2 a.m. since I was a little baby...)

> oh, that's pleasant...
> I suppose it's a less painless and much quicker way to go than
> dying of cancer

I think that way too - but I would not consider myself too much comfortable if humans were like that ))

> I don't know. I think part of it is that she is delusional and
> she imagines getting someone from another place as being akin to
> having the perfect present sitting under the Christmas tree. You
> don't know what's in the box, but you're already bored of your
> current toys and you think that this will make you happy.

are you saying she wants to change people just because she is never satisfied? perhaps.

but perhaps she only likes to make people below uncomfortable.

> that place is just like highschool....right down to the very bit
> where you find out about parties the monday after they
> happened....

this is really sad.

> i really felt that way this afternoon and yesterday, as i
> entered all of the new programming to appease the people in the
> programming department, did my assigned work, helped the new guy
> with a major problem, had the people in operations coming and
> asking me questions, and had random others from the sales
> department approaching me with things that weren't really
> supposed to be on my list of things to do, and yet, the new girl
> who is getting more money and "respect" is sitting
> there like a lump through all of this because she doesn't know
> any of it.

this is unfortunatly so common, isn`t it? I remember when the bosses in my department contracted a consultant to make an enormous computer program that would resolve all our problems - after two or three years he did almost anything, I did lots of computer programs but the consultant earned much more money than me.

> Oh my god. i couldn't work with either of my parents.

And it was impossible to me too - but I have to earn my own money during six years to prove to my father that I could do something - after these six years he had great problems in his office and he said I was the only person who could help him...

> i understand that. my dad went through the same thing when he
> worked for the government...

oh really? :-((

People who works (and really works) in a job like that tends to be completely frustrated. I understand perfectly why the socialist coutries broke up.

> sheesh, only a national congress?

it`s not that bad, is it?

>why on earth did you have me
> worked up?

oh sorry suzanne... I just said I went to an International Congress, not that I showed a work there...

> heh...Somnium said some really nasty things to me as well, so...

he treated you well today, as it seems...

> i like those two already...

hehe...

but you wouldn`t like them personally - they were humble towards the scientists in the International Congress; but they were arrogant towards brazilian people in general.

> oh, i always cry when i'm forced to do anything

but you came here without being forced at all! you simply repented of being here... ))

and talking about dreams, I really loved the dream you described to Somnium - and I was very proud to be in it!

> heh.

> America is corrupt. It's very hidden under a sheath of "we
> must do what's morally right for this poor little country with
> billions of dollars of oil!"

> And as we scoot further and further away from the Cold War, I
> realize just how little sense it made. China is probably worse,
> and we don't care because they let us come in and exploit their
> cheap labor. The Russians wouldn't.

yes - this in a side of America I really don`t like.

Anyway, our cheap labour coming from our own country...

> And I also wonder how did being a rich country have anything to
> do with democracy. The Saudis are incredibly rich, and you'll be
> hard pressed to call it a democracy.

But do you know if people there are rich? (I really don`t know it)

The Nazi German are richer than the Weimar Republic too...

Anyway, in general it seems clear that democratic countries are in richer than dictarships - and democratic countries tend to be more politically stables too.

> that's the problem of being a satellite country. the money flows
> out, but it doesn't flow in.

yes - but sometimes I think the thing is even more complex. There`s a complete defeatist way of thinking here that probably is an important cause in our current situation.

> I actually saw Ghandi for the first time the other night, and
> that's a decent illustration of what happens to people who
> aren't allowed to use their gifts and help themselves earn a
> living.

Yes, this could explain our bad situation until some decades ago - but I really think that if a country wants to be developed, it can do it. We simply can`t put always the blame of our situation on other countries.

> There was someone I worked with that took a year off for a
> sabbatical.

This is really fine...

>I really didn't know her that well, but they posted
> her letters on the bulletin board and I read about her
> adventures in the middle east and south africa, and boy, talk
> about being an ugly american tourist, she would go to places and
> not dress for the occasion...and i mean wearing shorts in Egypt,
> and she eventually figured out she wasn't supposed to dress like
> that when the locals started heckling her.

but I think if a woman is dressed exactly as all other women there she won`t have problems, don`t you agree?

> What a wasted trip on such a ninny.

truly - she really could be informed about the country`s situation...

> enh.

> my dad likes to fish all the time, but i can't imagine him doing
> it in those conditions...

my father becomes simply crazy in those trips - he becomes so happy that sometimes he doesn`t even sleep... )) he is a silent man but in those occasions he talks and laughs without a pause...

> I didn't say I read it, I said I bought it...we'll work on the
> other aspects of it when I have time.

who we`ll work about the other aspects of it? us?

> I have faith that it's somewhere that I haven't looked. i don't
> throw anything away...I love it, but i'll find a way to live
> until that moment has passed.

oh...

> me discussing the aspects of gunplay?

no - I did not think about gunplay when I talked about fire, Fabricio and Austin - it`s that simple... ))

> Fabricio, there are only a few sports that I like: Kendo,
> gymnastics, and ice skating. Those are sports of amazing control
> and balance.

Oh, I don`t like these sports - they don`t seem sports to me...

>Football to me is boring.

This is a common opinion in USA, isn`t it? It`s hard to us to understand it...

> World War II.

Oh, this is my favourite subject nowadays (I think I have said it to you). Do you want to discuss something about it?

> Us English speakers have shortened it as if it were a fastfood
> restaurant like IHOP or KFC.

I don`t understand most of rap lyrics, but I really think it`s fine to hear all the DPG, CPT, DOC in those lyrics...))

We don`t use to shorten words that way in Brazil...

> We must always give the benefit of the doubt....if we are
> feeling up to it.

benefit of the doubt on what exactly?

 

[suzanne]

Re: gymkata!

> oh sorry Suzanne...

> worried exactly about what?

about your intentions

> hehehehe...

> I don`t know what I should answer - perhaps I would say you are
> a girl with no bad intentions at all (except perhaps towards
> Morrissey - but my wife is a Morrissey fan too, she would
> perhaps be jealous of you because of him and not because of me!)

i'm sure that as surely she is taken by someone, that he is taken as well, and it would be fruitless and she must give it up now....

did you see his lovely DVD cover? I don't know what to do about this. I don't own a DVD player...

> but I think you are more than an interesting person. Don`t you
> agree?

no. i live a pretty dull and normal life.

i picture interesting people as ones that get invited to many parties because they are fun and have many interesting stories.

> hehehehe - but there are some persons who tends to consider
> intelligent people as strongly erotic ones someway.

they are a very awkward bunch.

> thank you...

> have you ever thought I like Morrissey as a son likes a father?

I'm not exactly sure. You don't really seem to emulate him that much. To me, you seem more like you don't question him. In some circles, i guess that qualifies...

> Where you came from?

yes, why i would like him in such a way

> so you are the girl with no bad intentions at all, aren`you?

if i had them, i wouldn't know what to do with them, so i'm very harmless....

> and you`ll answer you have no bad intentions at all towards me,
> won`t you?

> and I know I`ll deserve this answer.

i have none.

you see, love has a different meaning for many people. yes, you can theoretically sleep with many people, but how exciting is it if you are continually thinking of someone else? how can you hand yourself off to other people knowing that you aren't being completely honest with them?

> Have you live a longtime in Scotland?

for about 3 months i went to school...just enough to throw off your bio-rythms.

> I understand you - lately even if I am completely tired and I
> get to arrive to bed at 2 a.m. I have some difficulties to sleep
> before 3 a.m.

> But I have never a good sleeping pattern - I`ve been awake until
> 2 a.m. since I was a little baby...)

i quit taking naps when i was a year and a half old. the stories of me not sleeping are legends even til this day.

to illustrate, there is this pic of me as a baby in my mom's arms. I was screaming my head off fighting sleep, and both of my parents had this look on their face like "please shoot us now..."

> I think that way too - but I would not consider myself too much
> comfortable if humans were like that ))

> are you saying she wants to change people just because she is
> never satisfied? perhaps.

> but perhaps she only likes to make people below uncomfortable.

No, i wonder if it's because i'm smarter than she is.

For example, this one woman she had hired a few months ago was a massive headache to myself as I was stuck training her and cleaning up her messes. My boss made it seem like it was my fault she couldn't learn the job, even though she obviously paid no attention to what she did, called in sick repeatedly with very bizarre excuses, etc.

To make the story short, one of her stories revolved around her husband being a beligerant drunk and taking her keys away. Near the end of her reign of terror, I told my boss that I thought this woman was the one with the alcohol problem over a chat about how much we didn't like her. Not because she showed up for work drunk, but because she had the personality characteristics.

One day, this woman completely doesn't show up for work, and a few days later, her things were sent downstairs as she was there to collect them. It wasn't told to me at the time why she didn't show up for work: she was thrown in jail for driving on a suspended driver's license, which in the vast majority of times is suspended because you were driving drunk one too many times.

To be honest, I could tell what she was going to be like the first hour I had to sit and train her.

> this is really sad.

> this is unfortunatly so common, isn`t it? I remember when the
> bosses in my department contracted a consultant to make an
> enormous computer program that would resolve all our problems -
> after two or three years he did almost anything, I did lots of
> computer programs but the consultant earned much more money than
> me.

it's always the way.

i had another fun day where i worked 11 1/2 hours straight. I finished my work, and then, without being asked, jumped in and helped the new guy who was lagging way behind. I had to already come in early for some special reports, but i stayed 2 hours over on top of it, and not once did I hear a "thank you" out of her mouth, even though she thanked the girl who left an entire hour ahead of us, and the new assistant manager who just sat at her desk those two hours piddling.

> And it was impossible to me too - but I have to earn my own
> money during six years to prove to my father that I could do
> something - after these six years he had great problems in his
> office and he said I was the only person who could help him...

"obi-wan, you are my only hope..."

I think that going on your own for a while is good because it helps you establish a level of confidence that you can do it without a pity vote.

That is, if you really want to work for them.

> oh really? :-((

> People who works (and really works) in a job like that tends to
> be completely frustrated. I understand perfectly why the
> socialist coutries broke up.

No, democracies are set up very similar to that in many ways. You have no idea....the thing is, you can't just walk into a place and completely change everything in a year. They may "elect" people they want, but guaranteed it is business as usual.

You see, the west sees it like this: do they have a government that is friendly towards our personal needs as a country? What can we do to ensure that the "correct" government is put in place?

> it`s not that bad, is it?

i was being sarcastic

> oh sorry suzanne... I just said I went to an International
> Congress, not that I showed a work there...

> he treated you well today, as it seems...

what? did he even say anything to me?

> hehe...

> but you wouldn`t like them personally - they were humble towards
> the scientists in the International Congress; but they were
> arrogant towards brazilian people in general.

as i'm beginning to learn is that part of success is projecting the image that you should be successful. It's part of your spirit in announcing to your enemies that you are coming and forces them to react in a certain way.

:^)

> but you came here without being forced at all! you simply
> repented of being here... ))

> and talking about dreams, I really loved the dream you described
> to Somnium - and I was very proud to be in it!

it wasn't a real dream! I make those up off the top of my head for amusement.

It's weird. I can write those things, and then I turn around with a piece of paper with a mission in mind and I can't think of anything.

> yes - this in a side of America I really don`t like.

> Anyway, our cheap labour coming from our own country...

> But do you know if people there are rich? (I really don`t know
> it)

> The Nazi German are richer than the Weimar Republic too...

> Anyway, in general it seems clear that democratic countries are
> in richer than dictarships - and democratic countries tend to be
> more politically stables too.

China is very stable considering they have a billion people to deal with.

But you see, it's about culture and what these people think is right. There is no correct way of living, and the only thing that contributes to stability is if people have enough to live on and then some.

> yes - but sometimes I think the thing is even more complex.
> There`s a complete defeatist way of thinking here that probably
> is an important cause in our current situation.

> Yes, this could explain our bad situation until some decades ago
> - but I really think that if a country wants to be developed, it
> can do it. We simply can`t put always the blame of our situation
> on other countries.

What about what Ghandi had to get people to do to get their homerule back?

> This is really fine...

> but I think if a woman is dressed exactly as all other women
> there she won`t have problems, don`t you agree?

that was my point. she didn't even bother finding out, and any dummy knows that the middle easterners have their own take on gender roles just like anybody else. For example, in Saudi Arabia, women are not allowed to walk alone or they will be arrested. They also can't drive, and must be completely covered at all times.

> truly - she really could be informed about the country`s
> situation...

> my father becomes simply crazy in those trips - he becomes so
> happy that sometimes he doesn`t even sleep... )) he is a
> silent man but in those occasions he talks and laughs without a
> pause...

i think my dad does that too. i really don't know as it's been years since i went fishing.

> who we`ll work about the other aspects of it? us?

it's the royal "we"

> oh...

> no - I did not think about gunplay when I talked about fire,
> Fabricio and Austin - it`s that simple... ))

no, it's not that simple. people will want to know why a married Brazilian is showing up on my doorstep.

> Oh, I don`t like these sports - they don`t seem sports to me...

why not? because it isn't a bunch of butch guys bashing each other's heads?

> This is a common opinion in USA, isn`t it? It`s hard to us to
> understand it...

I find most team sports boring. I find American football even worse.

> Oh, this is my favourite subject nowadays (I think I have said
> it to you). Do you want to discuss something about it?

> I don`t understand most of rap lyrics, but I really think it`s
> fine to hear all the DPG, CPT, DOC in those lyrics...))

> We don`t use to shorten words that way in Brazil...

I'm joking about why we shorten World War II in that way, but if someone wants to make something sound hip and happening, they shorten their name to a few initials.

> benefit of the doubt on what exactly?

oh you know....people's intentions

 

[Fabricio]

Re: gymkata!

oh! in male beach volley usa defeated brazil... and brazil uses to be better than usa in beach volley... i think the brazilian guys were affraid of their success...

> about your intentions

don`t be worried about me...

> i'm sure that as surely she is taken by someone, that he is
> taken as well, and it would be fruitless and she must give it up
> now....

i`ll tell her to give morrissey up... but i`m not sure i`ll have success... well, probably i don`t want to have success...

> did you see his lovely DVD cover? I don't know what to do about
> this. I don't own a DVD player...

even i thought he was so beautiful there!

anyway, i am in the same situation as you - i don`t have a dvd player, and i don`t think i`ll buy one

> no. i live a pretty dull and normal life.

but i have a pretty normal life too - but i don`t think this is that bad.

> i picture interesting people as ones that get invited to many
> parties because they are fun and have many interesting stories.

well, nobody invites me to parties either - i think i have some stories to tell, i may be funny sometimes, but almost nobody invites me.

anyway, i don`t care too much anymore.

> they are a very awkward bunch.

do you think intelligent people are that way? i don`t think so.

> I'm not exactly sure. You don't really seem to emulate him that
> much. To me, you seem more like you don't question him.

perhaps - but you see suzanne, when i hear morrissey songs he seems so much a good guy, he understands me so much, as a father should be...

anyway, i use my intuition to think about morrissey and it thinks he is a good guy.

and you, do you think he is a good guy sometimes?

> In some
> circles, i guess that qualifies...

in which circles?

> yes, why i would like him in such a way

this way is an usual one? i don`t know...

i knew some girls here in curitiba that went to moz show and they swore he could not be gay, he was too much masculine.

i think this way too - i don`t think i would like that much a really gay singer.

well, i guess so.

> if i had them, i wouldn't know what to do with them, so i'm very
> harmless....

don`t you have bad intentions so?

well, i know i have bad intentions and i know i don`t know what i do with them - so i am harmless too. don`t be affraid of me.

> i have none.

you are a good girl.

> you see, love has a different meaning for many people. yes, you
> can theoretically sleep with many people, but how exciting is it
> if you are continually thinking of someone else? how can you
> hand yourself off to other people knowing that you aren't being
> completely honest with them?

i agree completely with you. i see many men only wanting to sleep with any beautiful girl...

this is terrible - many of these men simply break the hearts of the poor girls, and they hadn`t any true sentiment towards the girls...

but anyway, sometimes you can love honestly more than one person - and if you really love another person, you won`t want to break her heart.

> for about 3 months i went to school...just enough to throw off
> your bio-rythms.

was it funny someway going to Scotland?

> i quit taking naps when i was a year and a half old. the stories
> of me not sleeping are legends even til this day.

as for me - but my legend was just "not sleeping at night"

> to illustrate, there is this pic of me as a baby in my mom's
> arms. I was screaming my head off fighting sleep, and both of my
> parents had this look on their face like "please shoot us
> now..."

poor suzanne`s parents...))

my mother says when she finally went to bad i used to wake up... everyday...

> No, i wonder if it's because i'm smarter than she is.

> For example, this one woman she had hired a few months ago was a
> massive headache to myself as I was stuck training her and
> cleaning up her messes. My boss made it seem like it was my
> fault she couldn't learn the job, even though she obviously paid
> no attention to what she did, called in sick repeatedly with
> very bizarre excuses, etc.

> To make the story short, one of her stories revolved around her
> husband being a beligerant drunk and taking her keys away. Near
> the end of her reign of terror, I told my boss that I thought
> this woman was the one with the alcohol problem over a chat
> about how much we didn't like her. Not because she showed up for
> work drunk, but because she had the personality characteristics.

> One day, this woman completely doesn't show up for work, and a
> few days later, her things were sent downstairs as she was there
> to collect them. It wasn't told to me at the time why she didn't
> show up for work: she was thrown in jail for driving on a
> suspended driver's license, which in the vast majority of times
> is suspended because you were driving drunk one too many times.

> To be honest, I could tell what she was going to be like the
> first hour I had to sit and train her.

oh... this is a quite a story, isn`t it?

but the more you tell me about your boss, the more i think she is a complete idiot. How could she didn`t see she hired a person with so deep problems? a person who is so stupid in judging other should never be a boss...

and the fact they didn`t say a word about everything to you is simply horrible...

> it's always the way.

> i had another fun day where i worked 11 1/2 hours straight. I
> finished my work, and then, without being asked, jumped in and
> helped the new guy who was lagging way behind. I had to already
> come in early for some special reports, but i stayed 2 hours
> over on top of it, and not once did I hear a "thank
> you" out of her mouth, even though she thanked the girl who
> left an entire hour ahead of us, and the new assistant manager
> who just sat at her desk those two hours piddling.

i think she is affraid because you are smarter than her - plain and simple.

i`ve seeing this all my life.

> "obi-wan, you are my only hope..."

))

> I think that going on your own for a while is good because it
> helps you establish a level of confidence that you can do it
> without a pity vote.

oh, sure - i had no self confidence at all, and principally my father had no confidence at all in me. But i think he is changing this thought.

> That is, if you really want to work for them.

i think so.

> No, democracies are set up very similar to that in many ways.
> You have no idea....the thing is, you can't just walk into a
> place and completely change everything in a year. They may
> "elect" people they want, but guaranteed it is
> business as usual.

exactly this is what i was saying against socialist countries: if you can do business you work more and you want to produce more.

if you have no objectives in earning more money you tend to work less.

it`s not beautiful but it`s generally true.

> You see, the west sees it like this: do they have a government
> that is friendly towards our personal needs as a country? What
> can we do to ensure that the "correct" government is
> put in place?

it seems that usa always do things like that towards poorer countries.

anyway, the poorer countries had to make something, and in the case of brazil the government made few things: we had a dictatorship during 20 years that could educate all brazilian people, but they didn`t do it. I don`t think this is a usa fault.

> i was being sarcastic

oh what a goodness...

> as i'm beginning to learn is that part of success is projecting
> the image that you should be successful. It's part of your
> spirit in announcing to your enemies that you are coming and
> forces them to react in a certain way.

> :^)

hehehe... as i said before, what you said now is not beautiful but is completely true... ))

i think this happened today in the volley beach in the olympics: someway brazilian people are always affraid of american ones.

> it wasn't a real dream!

i thought it had too many things to be a real one))

>I make those up off the top of my head
> for amusement.

you have a great talent to do it (really).

i do admire this kind of imagination. I can`t tell an one-minute story to my daughter...

> It's weird. I can write those things, and then I turn around
> with a piece of paper with a mission in mind and I can't think
> of anything.

what kind of mission do you have in mind?

> China is very stable considering they have a billion people to
> deal with.

> But you see, it's about culture and what these people think is
> right. There is no correct way of living, and the only thing
> that contributes to stability is if people have enough to live
> on and then some.

this is true - but sometimes i think all countries tend to develop and tend to arrive to democracy. it`s a kind of evolution.

> What about what Ghandi had to get people to do to get their
> homerule back?

i agree with you - but after some years of independence the poor countries have to do something to be out of their situations.

> that was my point. she didn't even bother finding out, and any
> dummy knows that the middle easterners have their own take on
> gender roles just like anybody else. For example, in Saudi
> Arabia, women are not allowed to walk alone or they will be
> arrested. They also can't drive, and must be completely covered
> at all times.

well, if you have money to make this trip you probably have money to inform yourself...

> i think my dad does that too. i really don't know as it's been
> years since i went fishing.

but my father is completely crazy one or two days before fishing!

> it's the royal "we"

"royal we"? oh sorry, what does it mean?

> no, it's not that simple. people will want to know why a married
> Brazilian is showing up on my doorstep.

you can tell them i am there to go to a Congress of Hydrology... )

> why not? because it isn't a bunch of butch guys bashing each
> other's heads?

i don`t know - these kind of sports are too "artistic" to me - and i don`t enjoy their art.

> I find most team sports boring. I find American football even
> worse.

oh!

well, i don`t use to watch it frequently - but i think it`s very interesting indeed.

the american sport i simply can`t understand is baseball.

> I'm joking about why we shorten World War II in that way, but if
> someone wants to make something sound hip and happening, they
> shorten their name to a few initials.

hehe... i like it!

> oh you know....people's intentions

we never know people intentions.

well, sometimes we do...

 

[suzanne]

go for the gold

> oh! in male beach volley usa defeated brazil... and brazil uses
> to be better than usa in beach volley... i think the brazilian
> guys were affraid of their success...

maybe they just sucked this year....

> don`t be worried about me...

> i`ll tell her to give morrissey up... but i`m not sure i`ll have
> success... well, probably i don`t want to have success...

yes, dont' do that. he needs all the fans he can get.

> even i thought he was so beautiful there!

very nice indeed. maybe i'll print it out or something

> anyway, i am in the same situation as you - i don`t have a dvd
> player, and i don`t think i`ll buy one

a dvd player would go great with my 13" TV complete with rabbit ears.

> but i have a pretty normal life too - but i don`t think this is
> that bad.

> well, nobody invites me to parties either - i think i have some
> stories to tell, i may be funny sometimes, but almost nobody
> invites me.

ha. well, i need to get out of the house. Tomorrow, I'm going to see Travis, and this is the first legitimate band I've seen in a long time. This is not Russel Crowe, nor is it being tricked into seeing some god awful white boy funk band under the pretense that you thought you were seeing a jazz group.

> anyway, i don`t care too much anymore.

I guess I do. I need to call people up, but my list seems a bit short these days.

> do you think intelligent people are that way? i don`t think so.

Most of them.

> perhaps - but you see suzanne, when i hear morrissey songs he
> seems so much a good guy, he understands me so much, as a father
> should be...

the thing is, I think you are confusing Morrissey as a Jesus figure. Father figures are people that not only reciprocate what you feel, but they offer you something more constructive than just being a good person.

> anyway, i use my intuition to think about morrissey and it
> thinks he is a good guy.

> and you, do you think he is a good guy sometimes?

nobody is completely bad....

> in which circles?

> this way is an usual one? i don`t know...

> i knew some girls here in curitiba that went to moz show and
> they swore he could not be gay, he was too much masculine.

> i think this way too - i don`t think i would like that much a
> really gay singer.

see? this is projecting what you want onto him. What if someone came up to you and said, "we have irrefutable proof that Morrissey is only interested in other men. Here he is himself to tell you that he likes only men, and we aren't holding a gun to his head"

What would you say to that?

> well, i guess so.

> don`t you have bad intentions so?

> well, i know i have bad intentions and i know i don`t know what
> i do with them - so i am harmless too. don`t be affraid of me.

i like being at a distance

> you are a good girl.

> i agree completely with you. i see many men only wanting to
> sleep with any beautiful girl...

> this is terrible - many of these men simply break the hearts of
> the poor girls, and they hadn`t any true sentiment towards the
> girls...

I think the ugly ones have it worse because the men expect the girl to fall over in gratitude that somebody paid attention to them.

> but anyway, sometimes you can love honestly more than one person
> - and if you really love another person, you won`t want to break
> her heart.

That usually only happens when you don't feel too strongly one way or the other.

> was it funny someway going to Scotland?

It's very hard in a way. My grandfather had died just a week before I left to go over, and since the week that it had happened was very draining, I couldn't get myself up to speed to start adjusting to anything.

> as for me - but my legend was just "not sleeping at
> night"

I didn't sleep then, either!

> poor suzanne`s parents...))

> my mother says when she finally went to bad i used to wake up...
> everyday...

It was so bad that my dad actually had to hold me down in the crib before I would go to sleep.

> oh... this is a quite a story, isn`t it?

> but the more you tell me about your boss, the more i think she
> is a complete idiot. How could she didn`t see she hired a person
> with so deep problems? a person who is so stupid in judging
> other should never be a boss...

> and the fact they didn`t say a word about everything to you is
> simply horrible...

she was doing the underhanded insulting of me yesterday. She was standing there right in front of me, telling the new guy how I only had a "rough idea" about what was going on, and inferred that her former copy queen was the only person that maintained the tapes, and she was all like, "oh, i bet i could go in there now and find it is a mess" when the place was already like that before I even started. And she turned to me and started pointing at all the tapes on my desk and said something about it, when I remember more than once not being able to find a tape because this other person she puts on a pedestal let it sink below a ton of papers on her desk.

And it didn't make me feel good when I got another rejection letter yesterday. It sort of lets the air out of the "ha! I'll show you!" plan of revenge.

> i think she is affraid because you are smarter than her - plain
> and simple.

I agree.

> i`ve seeing this all my life.

> ))

> oh, sure - i had no self confidence at all, and principally my
> father had no confidence at all in me. But i think he is
> changing this thought.

that's good.

> i think so.

> exactly this is what i was saying against socialist countries:
> if you can do business you work more and you want to produce
> more.

Not necessarily.

Here in the US, I could do a crappy job or a really good job and come home with the same amount of money.

Lets not forget to mention that number of hours worked is increasing. more people are having to take 2 jobs because pay is less. Just today, an article said how fewer people today have no health insurance from their job which makes them liable for medical malpractice and being turned away when they need health care.

Then, there is what we call the "working poor" and that even though these people might be employed, their families are still going to bed hungry every night.

> if you have no objectives in earning more money you tend to work
> less.

> it`s not beautiful but it`s generally true.

> it seems that usa always do things like that towards poorer
> countries.

> anyway, the poorer countries had to make something, and in the
> case of brazil the government made few things: we had a
> dictatorship during 20 years that could educate all brazilian
> people, but they didn`t do it. I don`t think this is a usa
> fault.

But where was that money going instead? To businesses that would help the US?

> oh what a goodness...

> hehehe... as i said before, what you said now is not beautiful
> but is completely true... ))

> i think this happened today in the volley beach in the olympics:
> someway brazilian people are always affraid of american ones.

> i thought it had too many things to be a real one))

> you have a great talent to do it (really).

> i do admire this kind of imagination. I can`t tell an one-minute
> story to my daughter...

Boredom is a good motivator.

> what kind of mission do you have in mind?

These days, I don't have one. I have no plans of any kind. I just go from day to day, and that's it.

I find I'm getting more and more impatient with things. Since many of the things I had worked on for many years have panned out into nothing, I'm having a hard time seeing the good in investing time and effort into anything. I cringe when I think it will take me years to do something like go back to school, or develop myself in other ways. It bothers me on a level when I present myself as an intelligent person with lots of skills and nobody seems to care, because I feel that after all this time and energy, I should be able to walk into something and it not give me problems, and if it gives me problems, well, i'll just go and find something else. It's not like I have a passion to do anything specific right now.

> this is true - but sometimes i think all countries tend to
> develop and tend to arrive to democracy. it`s a kind of
> evolution.

but that was an influence of other things like the Romans.

> i agree with you - but after some years of independence the poor
> countries have to do something to be out of their situations.

> well, if you have money to make this trip you probably have
> money to inform yourself...

That's true. It's the only kind of real learning left.

> but my father is completely crazy one or two days before
> fishing!

my dad is always nuts about fishing.

> "royal we"? oh sorry, what does it mean?

when the queen says, "we are not amused" when she is only talking about herself.

> you can tell them i am there to go to a Congress of Hydrology...
> )

this is austin. might be more believable if you said you were there for the gay and lesbian film festival.

> i don`t know - these kind of sports are too "artistic"
> to me - and i don`t enjoy their art.

how many artists break their backs doing this?

> oh!

> well, i don`t use to watch it frequently - but i think it`s very
> interesting indeed.

> the american sport i simply can`t understand is baseball.

fun to play. boring to watch

> hehe... i like it!

> we never know people intentions.

> well, sometimes we do...

 

[Fabricio]

Re: go for the gold

> maybe they just sucked this year....

this year... just all years...

> yes, dont' do that. he needs all the fans he can get.

oh yeah, it`s very good to live with a morrissey fan!

> very nice indeed. maybe i'll print it out or something

you know, sometimes i think about the way you like morrissey... and i don`t know what to think about.

> a dvd player would go great with my 13" TV complete with
> rabbit ears.

rabbit ears? this is a kind of tv for children?

> ha. well, i need to get out of the house. Tomorrow, I'm going to
> see Travis, and this is the first legitimate band I've seen in a
> long time.

i have never heard them - even having a great friend who insisted me to buy their cd...

>This is not Russel Crowe, nor is it being tricked
> into seeing some god awful white boy funk band under the
> pretense that you thought you were seeing a jazz group.

pretension in music is something really awful, isn`t it?

> I guess I do. I need to call people up, but my list seems a bit
> short these days.

do you use to go to places wher you can "find" people? i could never do something like that - i`ve been always too shy.

> Most of them.

well, sometimes i consider myself intelligent... i think i have to stop to think like that ))

> the thing is, I think you are confusing Morrissey as a Jesus
> figure.

well, nobody is equal to Jesus.

>Father figures are people that not only reciprocate what
> you feel, but they offer you something more constructive than
> just being a good person.

i agree - but this is exactly what morrissey do with me.

it`s difficult to understand, but sometimes morrissey lyrics tell me exactly what i have to do in a DETERMINED moment in my life. i think a good father would do like that.

> nobody is completely bad....

oh yeah...

> see? this is projecting what you want onto him.

probably not - i just said i feel he is not gay. But you see? i don`t use to judge these kind of things - i simply feel it and this is enough.

> What if someone
> came up to you and said, "we have irrefutable proof that
> Morrissey is only interested in other men. Here he is himself to
> tell you that he likes only men, and we aren't holding a gun to
> his head"

> What would you say to that?

oh, this would be shocking...))

well, just kidding...

you see? i wouldn`t care too much about it - if he is gay, at least he is not one of these drama queens...

> i like being at a distance

really?

anyway, it doesn`t seem that you hate me (am i correct?). For me it`s ok.

> I think the ugly ones have it worse because the men expect the
> girl to fall over in gratitude that somebody paid attention to
> them.

yes, this is really sad indeed - most men have just no character.

> That usually only happens when you don't feel too strongly one
> way or the other.

i`m not sure - i think a person can really love more than one.

"i just have to explain to myself / i can have both"

well, if you really love more than a person you won`t want to hurt anyone - and then you`ll probably have to stay with a single one.

but i`m not sure, as always.

> It's very hard in a way. My grandfather had died just a week
> before I left to go over, and since the week that it had
> happened was very draining, I couldn't get myself up to speed to
> start adjusting to anything.

i remember when my grandmother died... i simply didn`t expect it, it was a terrible surprise to me.

she was called Thereza too.

> I didn't sleep then, either!

> It was so bad that my dad actually had to hold me down in the
> crib before I would go to sleep.

oh, we really made things difficult to our parents...

i don`t know how this difficulty i had to sleep at night persisted until now...

> she was doing the underhanded insulting of me yesterday. She was
> standing there right in front of me, telling the new guy how I
> only had a "rough idea" about what was going on, and
> inferred that her former copy queen was the only person that
> maintained the tapes, and she was all like, "oh, i bet i
> could go in there now and find it is a mess" when the place
> was already like that before I even started. And she turned to
> me and started pointing at all the tapes on my desk and said
> something about it, when I remember more than once not being
> able to find a tape because this other person she puts on a
> pedestal let it sink below a ton of papers on her desk.

oh, it`s very difficult to work with her, isn`t it? is your boss like that with someone else or this is just with you?

> And it didn't make me feel good when I got another rejection
> letter yesterday. It sort of lets the air out of the "ha!
> I'll show you!" plan of revenge.

oh sorry: this letter rejection came from whom?

if it was not from yor boss, who did the plan of revenge?

> I agree.

i am sure of it.

> that's good.

i hope so.

> Not necessarily.

> Here in the US, I could do a crappy job or a really good job and
> come home with the same amount of money.

> Lets not forget to mention that number of hours worked is
> increasing. more people are having to take 2 jobs because pay is
> less. Just today, an article said how fewer people today have no
> health insurance from their job which makes them liable for
> medical malpractice and being turned away when they need health
> care.

> Then, there is what we call the "working poor" and
> that even though these people might be employed, their families
> are still going to bed hungry every night.

well, i heard something (but not much) about you said, and even this way i am someway shocked.

but you see: it`s difficult to us to understand a country like USA. We feel tooo distant from your contry.

and in a time of olympics like nowadays (i am seeing another probably defeat of brazil...) our self respect is below everything...

> But where was that money going instead? To businesses that would
> help the US?

i don`t know - i just think many of poor contries don`t produce aything - they simply make no money.

> Boredom is a good motivator.

hehe...

well, even when i was completely bored most of my time i simply had no imagination...

> These days, I don't have one. I have no plans of any kind. I
> just go from day to day, and that's it.

> I find I'm getting more and more impatient with things. Since
> many of the things I had worked on for many years have panned
> out into nothing, I'm having a hard time seeing the good in
> investing time and effort into anything. I cringe when I think
> it will take me years to do something like go back to school, or
> develop myself in other ways. It bothers me on a level when I
> present myself as an intelligent person with lots of skills and
> nobody seems to care, because I feel that after all this time
> and energy, I should be able to walk into something and it not
> give me problems, and if it gives me problems, well, i'll just
> go and find something else. It's not like I have a passion to do
> anything specific right now.

oh...

i don`t know what i have to tell you because i felt so many times the same things you feeling now, and i was too irritated when somebody told me to be optimistic and things that way.

anyway, i`m feeling better now - these kind of things really happen.

> but that was an influence of other things like the Romans.

the democracy? perhaps, but i`m not sure.

> That's true. It's the only kind of real learning left.

well, i prefer to know other countries by TV, but this is just me... ))

> my dad is always nuts about fishing.

oh yeah - one more thing in common...

> when the queen says, "we are not amused" when she is
> only talking about herself.

i thought about it, but i wasn`t really sure.

> this is austin. might be more believable if you said you were
> there for the gay and lesbian film festival.

hehehehe...

if you think your parents would prefer that way, why not?

> how many artists break their backs doing this?

they break their backs when they are under a dictatorship country...

> fun to play. boring to watch

oh, at least you can understand the match - for me this is completely impossible.

 

[suzanne]

Re: go for the gold

> this year... just all years...

> oh yeah, it`s very good to live with a morrissey fan!

i had a roommate who was a Bob Dylan fan, but that was about as much fanatacism as I ran across in anyone I lived with.

> you know, sometimes i think about the way you like morrissey...
> and i don`t know what to think about.

Most of the time, I don't know what to think either. I'm on crack and I need to get a life.

> rabbit ears? this is a kind of tv for children?

oops. heh. "Rabbit Ears" are a slang term for the antenna on your TV set.

> i have never heard them - even having a great friend who
> insisted me to buy their cd...

they are very nice...

...and I realized how relatively young they are, and it's amazing. I think British rock stars tend to be a few years younger than Americans.

I also think the British become more mature much quicker than Americans. The lead singer told us a story about how he wrote one song as he was turning 20 because he was freaking out that he was no longer a teenager. The way he describes it sounds like most americans when they hit the 30 mark. You see, we're not allowed to do anything fun or interesting until we turn 18.

> pretension in music is something really awful, isn`t it?

> do you use to go to places wher you can "find" people?
> i could never do something like that - i`ve been always too shy.

i wouldn't know where to start looking. i hate bars because everyone is so plastic. Even though we have a revolving door of people at work, I don't really seem to jive with them in any particular way. I'm too nerdy for the technical department, and I'm too weird for the people I work with now. I did sort of meet some people when i was still doing open mics, but I don't know where they've all gone onto.

> well, sometimes i consider myself intelligent... i think i have
> to stop to think like that ))

> well, nobody is equal to Jesus.

> i agree - but this is exactly what morrissey do with me.

> it`s difficult to understand, but sometimes morrissey lyrics
> tell me exactly what i have to do in a DETERMINED moment in my
> life. i think a good father would do like that.

> oh yeah...

> probably not - i just said i feel he is not gay. But you see? i
> don`t use to judge these kind of things - i simply feel it and
> this is enough.

But what you feel....people have been proven wrong by the facts.

> oh, this would be shocking...))

> well, just kidding...

> you see? i wouldn`t care too much about it - if he is gay, at
> least he is not one of these drama queens...

i think he causes enough drama by himself either way he flips.

> really?

> anyway, it doesn`t seem that you hate me (am i correct?). For me
> it`s ok.

no, i don't hate you, but i don't like you in that way you are hoping.

> yes, this is really sad indeed - most men have just no
> character.

> i`m not sure - i think a person can really love more than one.

i've tried experimenting with that. it's like the person you're interested in seems to be doing something else, and its not fair that i'm denying myself things, so I try, but I get confused..which is what state I would already be in even if there was nobody else, but it just adds one more dynamic that I really could live without and it ends up not working, so really, both ways are a complete waste of time. So really, i don't understand how some people effectively pull off an affair and being married at the same time....but I'm not an incredibly needy, clingy person. Give me a hobby and I will entertain myself for hours and not think about where everyone else is at. To me it's like, "oh well...."

> "i just have to explain to myself / i can have both"

> well, if you really love more than a person you won`t want to
> hurt anyone - and then you`ll probably have to stay with a
> single one.

> but i`m not sure, as always.

> i remember when my grandmother died... i simply didn`t expect
> it, it was a terrible surprise to me.

It was unexpected as well. True, he had been having some problems with his heart, but when it suddenly gives out like that, it is a bit stunning

> she was called Thereza too.

> oh, we really made things difficult to our parents...

it's revenge.

> i don`t know how this difficulty i had to sleep at night
> persisted until now...

I still have it. Here it is 1 AM, and I'm not even close to getting ready for bed.

> oh, it`s very difficult to work with her, isn`t it? is your boss
> like that with someone else or this is just with you?

enh. she's asking for trouble. Not from me, but in general.

> oh sorry: this letter rejection came from whom?

potential employer.

> if it was not from yor boss, who did the plan of revenge?

heh.

well, i found out something very interesting: apparently, I don't lie enough on my resume. Here I was going the honest route, and i'm discovering lots of people who got where they were at from building themselves up. Yes, here is a smart person such as myself being beaten out by ninnnies because I don't have the nerve to lie.

You know, i'm finding out that all the things people teach you about honesty when you are growing up are nothing but delusion. Someone told me yesterday that I could never be a sales person because I'm too honest, and I thought about it and it may be the root of my problems from me staying in nightly (because people want you to act like they are the most interesting people on the planet) to me being in the shape I'm in when I try and pursue other things.

> i am sure of it.

> i hope so.

> well, i heard something (but not much) about you said, and even
> this way i am someway shocked.

Yes. Many parts of the US are like 3rd world countries, usually determined by the race of who is living in these areas.

> but you see: it`s difficult to us to understand a country like
> USA. We feel tooo distant from your contry.

Everyone watches Friends and other shows about people who are yuppies because the advertisers like getting yuppies to tune in and watch commercials about Land Rovers.

> and in a time of olympics like nowadays (i am seeing another
> probably defeat of brazil...) our self respect is below
> everything...

i know how they feel

> i don`t know - i just think many of poor contries don`t produce
> aything - they simply make no money.

maybe they do produce something, but the money is going to people outside of the country. For example, poorly paid local employees for an American owned company.

> hehe...

> well, even when i was completely bored most of my time i simply
> had no imagination...

yes. Most of them time i would prefer sleep or to find something else to do. Actually, I would prefer other people entertain me. Forget writing songs. It's never as interesting as hearing somebody else's work.

> oh...

> i don`t know what i have to tell you because i felt so many
> times the same things you feeling now, and i was too irritated
> when somebody told me to be optimistic and things that way.

I agree. What the @#!!! is this whole optimism crap? It's so vague and doesn't mean @#!!!. I think those people who sit around and rattle off all these feel good phrases about your attitude determining your altitude in life need their head checked.

> anyway, i`m feeling better now - these kind of things really
> happen.

> the democracy? perhaps, but i`m not sure.

> well, i prefer to know other countries by TV, but this is just
> me... ))

It kind of gets monotonous after a while, and you always find that the TV leaves out many things

> oh yeah - one more thing in common...

> i thought about it, but i wasn`t really sure.

> hehehehe...

> if you think your parents would prefer that way, why not?

technically, i'm 25 and don't have to answer to them, but still...I think Brazil needs you more.

> they break their backs when they are under a dictatorship
> country...

> oh, at least you can understand the match - for me this is
> completely impossible.

not much to it. hit the ball and run around.

 

[Fabricio]

Re: go for the gold

hev you ever heard Bessie Smith? A friend lent me a cd from hers and I simply can`t stop hearing it (i had never did it before).

perhaps i am becoming older. Day by day i hear less rock songs...

> i had a roommate who was a Bob Dylan fan, but that was about as
> much fanatacism as I ran across in anyone I lived with.

there`s something in Bob Dylan fans that is similar to Morrissey fans, isn`t it?

there`s a brazilian writer that is very famous for writing some books about brazilian Hystory. He is a so fanatic Bob Dylan fan that Bob Dylan said the brazilian writer knew more about Dylan`s life than himself.

> Most of the time, I don't know what to think either. I'm on
> crack and I need to get a life.

the way you like Morrissey impedes you of getting a life?

> oops. heh. "Rabbit Ears" are a slang term for the
> antenna on your TV set.

hehehe... oh, sometimes it`s difficult to talk with me, isn`t it?

> they are very nice...

> ...and I realized how relatively young they are, and it's
> amazing. I think British rock stars tend to be a few years
> younger than Americans.

really? i have never perceived it.

> I also think the British become more mature much quicker than
> Americans. The lead singer told us a story about how he wrote
> one song as he was turning 20 because he was freaking out that
> he was no longer a teenager. The way he describes it sounds like
> most americans when they hit the 30 mark. You see, we're not
> allowed to do anything fun or interesting until we turn 18.

there`s a brazilian journalist i like that is living in usa right now. Well, he is saying that someway USA society is a very restricted and repressed one. He quote some raves where the police came and destroyed everything - well, in Brazil we have the impression police in never there (what I think is very very bad indeed)

> i wouldn't know where to start looking. i hate bars because
> everyone is so plastic. Even though we have a revolving door of
> people at work, I don't really seem to jive with them in any
> particular way. I'm too nerdy for the technical department, and
> I'm too weird for the people I work with now. I did sort of meet
> some people when i was still doing open mics, but I don't know
> where they've all gone onto.

i pratically never knew people with the same tastes as me, so i had to act as a chameleon most of my life, trying to agree others.

but i think i have changed a little bit - i simply stay quiet when i have nothing to say (what happens most of the time indeed...)

> But what you feel....people have been proven wrong by the facts.

are you saying i am wrong here about morrissey or people may be wrong "in general"?

> i think he causes enough drama by himself either way he flips.

morrissey?

i don`t know... perhaps i am losing contact with reality...

> no, i don't hate you, but i don't like you in that way you are
> hoping.

in what way i hope you like me?

> i've tried experimenting with that. it's like the person you're
> interested in seems to be doing something else, and its not fair
> that i'm denying myself things, so I try, but I get
> confused..which is what state I would already be in even if
> there was nobody else, but it just adds one more dynamic that I
> really could live without and it ends up not working, so really,
> both ways are a complete waste of time. So really, i don't
> understand how some people effectively pull off an affair and
> being married at the same time....

i really understand you - believe me, i have never had an affair.

anyway, if somewhere i was alone with a girl i really like, i don`t know what i wouldn`t do.

anyway there is a beautiful student girl that gives me various hints that she wants to have an affair with me. I had even had some opportunities to do it, but when the opportunities appear I just came out without any doubt.

> but I'm not an incredibly
> needy, clingy person. Give me a hobby and I will entertain
> myself for hours and not think about where everyone else is at.
> To me it's like, "oh well...."

I think I am like that someway. I really love to be alone.

> It was unexpected as well. True, he had been having some
> problems with his heart, but when it suddenly gives out like
> that, it is a bit stunning

exactly like my grandmother that had some problems at her heart as well.

> it's revenge.

in my case this is 100% correct.

> I still have it. Here it is 1 AM, and I'm not even close to
> getting ready for bed.

and here it`s 2:34 am, and I have to work 12 hours tomorrow. Anyway, working is much better than having a class, because i am less sleepy when i work.

> enh. she's asking for trouble. Not from me, but in general.

and i don`t understand why people like her is always the bosses...

> potential employer.

> heh.

> well, i found out something very interesting: apparently, I
> don't lie enough on my resume. Here I was going the honest
> route, and i'm discovering lots of people who got where they
> were at from building themselves up. Yes, here is a smart person
> such as myself being beaten out by ninnnies because I don't have
> the nerve to lie.

but i think your way is the better way. I do believe sooner or later the lies are discovered.

> You know, i'm finding out that all the things people teach you
> about honesty when you are growing up are nothing but delusion.

i really understand your feelings because i have felt this way too much times.

but are you thinking about changing your ways of doing things?

> Someone told me yesterday that I could never be a sales person
> because I'm too honest, and I thought about it and it may be the
> root of my problems from me staying in nightly (because people
> want you to act like they are the most interesting people on the
> planet) to me being in the shape I'm in when I try and pursue
> other things.

i think i don`t have any talent to be a salesman or a politician either - i simply can`t lie the way they want a salesman lie.

> Yes. Many parts of the US are like 3rd world countries, usually
> determined by the race of who is living in these areas.

i watched various films about it.

but our poor people are so poor that i don`t know if it has some comparison. But perhaps i am wrong.

> Everyone watches Friends and other shows about people who are
> yuppies because the advertisers like getting yuppies to tune in
> and watch commercials about Land Rovers.

> i know how they feel

well, and you said go for the gold...

Brazil didn`t have a single gold medal in these Olympic Games! This was sad but i had had one of my intuitions before that forecasted it and i am someway satisfied.

> maybe they do produce something, but the money is going to
> people outside of the country. For example, poorly paid local
> employees for an American owned company.

i see it - but if people in a poor country subject themselves to work almost as slaves is because before the arriving of the great american enterprises they lived still better yet. The american enterprises someway give them a job they didn`t have.

It`s cruel but probably it`s real.

> yes. Most of them time i would prefer sleep or to find something
> else to do. Actually, I would prefer other people entertain me.
> Forget writing songs. It's never as interesting as hearing
> somebody else's work.

the world of music is so vast, isn`t it? i really love to hear new kinds of songs.

but if you have really something to say, i think you have to sing it. i know it lacks style...

> I agree. What the @#!!! is this whole optimism crap? It's so
> vague and doesn't mean @#!!! . I think those people who sit
> around and rattle off all these feel good phrases about your
> attitude determining your altitude in life need their head
> checked.

well, i really don`t know what to say...

> It kind of gets monotonous after a while, and you always find
> that the TV leaves out many things

i understand - my point is that i have no great interest in knowing other cultures, countries or peoples - they are all similar and you don`t have the way of knowing them deeply.

If i know well one or two people all around the world this is ok to me.

> technically, i'm 25 and don't have to answer to them, but
> still...I think Brazil needs you more.

oh... ))

i like so much these kind of answers you give... sorry...

> not much to it. hit the ball and run around.

oh! )) but there are always some punctuations in it, isn`t it?

 

[suzanne]

Re: go for the gold

> hev you ever heard Bessie Smith? A friend lent me a cd from hers
> and I simply can`t stop hearing it (i had never did it before).

I've heard of her, but never really sat down to listen.

> perhaps i am becoming older. Day by day i hear less rock
> songs...

> there`s something in Bob Dylan fans that is similar to Morrissey
> fans, isn`t it?

Maybe. She wasn't that bright, so yes, you're right....

> there`s a brazilian writer that is very famous for writing some
> books about brazilian Hystory. He is a so fanatic Bob Dylan fan
> that Bob Dylan said the brazilian writer knew more about Dylan`s
> life than himself.

was he being sarcastic? Dylan loves being sarcastic.

> the way you like Morrissey impedes you of getting a life?

heh...

> hehehe... oh, sometimes it`s difficult to talk with me, isn`t
> it?

not as bad as some people.

> really? i have never perceived it.

> there`s a brazilian journalist i like that is living in usa
> right now. Well, he is saying that someway USA society is a very
> restricted and repressed one. He quote some raves where the
> police came and destroyed everything - well, in Brazil we have
> the impression police in never there (what I think is very very
> bad indeed)

oddly, we sometimes have the same impression about our police. they're too busy busting up raves to be of any use.

> i pratically never knew people with the same tastes as me, so i
> had to act as a chameleon most of my life, trying to agree
> others.

> but i think i have changed a little bit - i simply stay quiet
> when i have nothing to say (what happens most of the time
> indeed...)

I usually don't have anything to say. Conversation is like watching a tennis match for me, and I usually don't mind.

> are you saying i am wrong here about morrissey or people may be
> wrong "in general"?

well, you are all the way over there in Brazil. He could have professed his eternal devotion to a pet pig and you would never know.

That, and people always surprise you with their hidden lives.

> morrissey?

> i don`t know... perhaps i am losing contact with reality...

> in what way i hope you like me?

the flirty kind

> i really understand you - believe me, i have never had an
> affair.

> anyway, if somewhere i was alone with a girl i really like, i
> don`t know what i wouldn`t do.

> anyway there is a beautiful student girl that gives me various
> hints that she wants to have an affair with me. I had even had
> some opportunities to do it, but when the opportunities appear I
> just came out without any doubt.

there's more to it than how they look. True, one of my guy friends is convinced that all a girl has to do is stand there and she will have any man that she wants, but that's not exactly the case. Sadly, he doesn't get out that much and therefore doesn't know.

> I think I am like that someway. I really love to be alone.

People are such high maintenance. I like being selfish and inconsiderate, so when I'm alone, i don't have to worry about screwing up in that area.

That, and when I do get out of the house, I tend to be more agreeable with people because when you miss them, you tend to appreciate them more.

> exactly like my grandmother that had some problems at her heart
> as well.

> in my case this is 100% correct.

> and here it`s 2:34 am, and I have to work 12 hours tomorrow.
> Anyway, working is much better than having a class, because i am
> less sleepy when i work.

It doesn't matter where I am, I'm still sleepy. i should have been a vampire coz my energy level always picks up around 6PM.

> and i don`t understand why people like her is always the
> bosses...

it was shocking. we had a talk on friday, and I think she has wised up some in the past couple of weeks over who was doing what.

either that, or she realizes she is really in a bind because the new people suck.

I also got the hint that someone who I had trained (and subsequently quit...not the alcoholic, but another person) had been in her office making things up about me.

> but i think your way is the better way. I do believe sooner or
> later the lies are discovered.

oh heck.

> i really understand your feelings because i have felt this way
> too much times.

> but are you thinking about changing your ways of doing things?

when it comes to some things, I'm a bad liar.

> i think i don`t have any talent to be a salesman or a politician
> either - i simply can`t lie the way they want a salesman lie.

Selling things never interested me anyway. My attitude is "if you want it, go ahead and have it, and if you don't, I'll leave you alone."

I've never liked bothering people.

> i watched various films about it.

> but our poor people are so poor that i don`t know if it has some
> comparison. But perhaps i am wrong.

You've seen the ghettos....but I know that there are lines at the charities for sure.

> well, and you said go for the gold...

> Brazil didn`t have a single gold medal in these Olympic Games!
> This was sad but i had had one of my intuitions before that
> forecasted it and i am someway satisfied.

A nation of losers!

Don't feel bad. We in America have @#!!!loads of money to spends on sports.

> i see it - but if people in a poor country subject themselves to
> work almost as slaves is because before the arriving of the
> great american enterprises they lived still better yet. The
> american enterprises someway give them a job they didn`t have.

they might be better in the short run, but it doesn't build things up over the long run. There is no sizable amount of money left in your country to start building other things and improving people's standards of living.

> It`s cruel but probably it`s real.

> the world of music is so vast, isn`t it? i really love to hear
> new kinds of songs.

> but if you have really something to say, i think you have to
> sing it. i know it lacks style...

that's just it. i don't really have anything to sing..or dance...or juggle about. I feel OK. I don't think I was ever meant to be a singer because it just doesn't feel right.

As I said, it looks like I might be in a trio with my friends. I'm playing guitar, and it's 95% covers, and I don't care if we ever play any shows or not, but it's OK because I hate the music scene on the inside. Let somebody else have their picture on a t-shirt, sit cramped on a tour bus to Greenville, get ripped off by the labels, have clubs give them the run around, be insulted by the press, or get pelted off the stage.

> well, i really don`t know what to say...

> i understand - my point is that i have no great interest in
> knowing other cultures, countries or peoples - they are all
> similar and you don`t have the way of knowing them deeply.

> If i know well one or two people all around the world this is ok
> to me.

I know too many people as it is. I need to cut back.

> oh... ))

> i like so much these kind of answers you give... sorry...

they're the ones you have to live with, so I'm glad you like them.

> oh! )) but there are always some punctuations in it, isn`t
> it?

 

[Fabricio]

Re: go for the gold

> I've heard of her, but never really sat down to listen.

it`s excellent.

but i came to hear it at work and i didn`t like it - then i have perceived i didn`t use the correct earphones to these kind of songs.

I had to change my earphones and suddenly i liked it again...

> Maybe. She wasn't that bright, so yes, you're right....

hehehe...

anyway, i know one or two morrissey fans that are really bright, like you are.

> was he being sarcastic? Dylan loves being sarcastic.

perhaps not - the brazilian writer was completely crazy about dylan. it seems that he read more than two hundred books about him. but nowadays our brazilian writer is crazy about the begining of brazilian story.

i am not so crazy as he about the things that interest me, but i understand him.

> heh...

> not as bad as some people.

oh, i won`t say i am soo happy for you saying that because after it you`ll be someway ironic with me.

(but i was soo happy indeed...)

> oddly, we sometimes have the same impression about our police.
> they're too busy busting up raves to be of any use.

hehehe... anyway they do some things.

in brazil they are just corrupt all the time.

> I usually don't have anything to say. Conversation is like
> watching a tennis match for me, and I usually don't mind.

but... you like to write, don`t you?

why people like us are like that?

perhaps this is a way of self defense, but i don`t know.

> well, you are all the way over there in Brazil. He could have
> professed his eternal devotion to a pet pig and you would never
> know.

perhaps he is professing all the time his eternal love for someone somewhere and almost nobody understands him.

> That, and people always surprise you with their hidden lives.

why i am the wrong here?

in my age i have no more surprises, you see.

> the flirty kind

> there's more to it than how they look. True, one of my guy
> friends is convinced that all a girl has to do is stand there
> and she will have any man that she wants, but that's not exactly
> the case. Sadly, he doesn't get out that much and therefore
> doesn't know.

what i think is that if a woman just want to have an affair she will find a man in the end.

but not necessarily the man she wants.

so i agree with you and your friend is wrong.

> People are such high maintenance. I like being selfish and
> inconsiderate, so when I'm alone, i don't have to worry about
> screwing up in that area.

yes - exactly as me.

> That, and when I do get out of the house, I tend to be more
> agreeable with people because when you miss them, you tend to
> appreciate them more.

i always try to be agreable with people, but is common people considering my way looking an aggressive one. I don`t know why. It`s common that i thought i was so likable with somebody, and this somebody considered me unpleasant.

> It doesn't matter where I am, I'm still sleepy. i should have
> been a vampire coz my energy level always picks up around 6PM.

at 6pm normally is the time of the day i am more sleepy. But after 11pm i am with all my energy.

> it was shocking. we had a talk on friday, and I think she has
> wised up some in the past couple of weeks over who was doing
> what.

this is ok.

> either that, or she realizes she is really in a bind because the
> new people suck.

the lies can`t stand for a very longtime.

> I also got the hint that someone who I had trained (and
> subsequently quit...not the alcoholic, but another person) had
> been in her office making things up about me.

i am really glad because of you. i hope things become still better.

> oh heck.

> when it comes to some things, I'm a bad liar.

i am a really bad liar for everything.

lately i`ve been training to say enormous and stupid lies to my friends, to see if they believe in me.

i have some impressive success. Perhaps i`ll get to say some serious lies in the future.

> Selling things never interested me anyway. My attitude is
> "if you want it, go ahead and have it, and if you don't,
> I'll leave you alone."

and i am too shy to insist to somebody to buy something from me. I think it`s not correct, if the person doesn`t really need the product.

> I've never liked bothering people.

as me again.

> You've seen the ghettos....but I know that there are lines at
> the charities for sure.

yes, and these kind of things don`t exist in brazil. It seem that even in ghettos social charity pays something to the poor. We almost don`t have it in brazil - i don`t how these people live.

> A nation of losers!

there`s no doubt about it...

> Don't feel bad. We in America have @#!!! loads of money to
> spends on sports.

it seems so.

in brazil we don`t have this amount of money, and almost all money for sports go to soccer and volleyball (we had 4 medals in volley, and our soccer was a completely shame: cameron defeat brazil and they had two players lass than us...)

> they might be better in the short run, but it doesn't build
> things up over the long run. There is no sizable amount of money
> left in your country to start building other things and
> improving people's standards of living.

there`s no doubt the great american enterprises don`t think about the welfare of poor countries... anyway, the poor countries have some responsabilities too.

> that's just it. i don't really have anything to sing..or
> dance...or juggle about. I feel OK. I don't think I was ever
> meant to be a singer because it just doesn't feel right.

i understand you.

> As I said, it looks like I might be in a trio with my friends.
> I'm playing guitar, and it's 95% covers, and I don't care if we
> ever play any shows or not, but it's OK

it seems really funny - i would like to do something like that.

unfortunately i would like to sing but i sing off-key.

>because I hate the music
> scene on the inside.

what music scene has inside you don`t like?

> Let somebody else have their picture on a
> t-shirt, sit cramped on a tour bus to Greenville, get ripped off
> by the labels, have clubs give them the run around, be insulted
> by the press, or get pelted off the stage.

i liked your description...

> I know too many people as it is. I need to cut back.

i don`t - but this is ok.

> they're the ones you have to live with, so I'm glad you like
> them.

you gave me another one of your brillant answers! i am laughing again...

 

[suzanne]

Jules et Jim

> it`s excellent.

> but i came to hear it at work and i didn`t like it - then i have
> perceived i didn`t use the correct earphones to these kind of
> songs.

> I had to change my earphones and suddenly i liked it again...

oh what a little piece of electronic equipment will do.

> hehehe...

> anyway, i know one or two morrissey fans that are really bright,
> like you are.

C'mon! Two of us can't keep the entire vessel afloat. We'll have to have a membership drive.

> perhaps not - the brazilian writer was completely crazy about
> dylan. it seems that he read more than two hundred books about
> him. but nowadays our brazilian writer is crazy about the
> begining of brazilian story.

maybe more productive than reading about Bob Dylan.

> i am not so crazy as he about the things that interest me, but i
> understand him.

> oh, i won`t say i am soo happy for you saying that because after
> it you`ll be someway ironic with me.

> (but i was soo happy indeed...)

wait...i don't understand if you are being serious or sarcastic

> hehehe... anyway they do some things.

> in brazil they are just corrupt all the time.

> but... you like to write, don`t you?

sometimes. It depends.

> why people like us are like that?

> perhaps this is a way of self defense, but i don`t know.

that part of my brain is usually asleep. It's not very quick on it's feet, so it's off line most of the time.

> perhaps he is professing all the time his eternal love for
> someone somewhere and almost nobody understands him.

and he tries as hard as he can to be cryptic.

so, the question is what sort of love is he looking for? Long distance like he was a fan admiring a star? Close up with all the dynamics of a daily relationship where you have to rub each other's feet and pretend that you don't mind the smell?

anyway, i was reading somewhere else on this website how when he got his hair cut the entire salon had to be emptied of everyone except for the person cutting his hair, and I wonder, what sort of life is that? I know he's not a very talkative guy, but how easy can you be around people when you feel that you have to empty a place just so you can do a daily activity?

I ought to try it at Supercuts one day. Go in, and wave a $20 bill around and see what happens. :^)

> why i am the wrong here?

> in my age i have no more surprises, you see.

you never know.

> what i think is that if a woman just want to have an affair she
> will find a man in the end.

Yes, she will. A Man. But women like a little selection in what they get. It isn't like the movies where a random beautiful girl can walk up to a guy and having him ready and willing.

> but not necessarily the man she wants.

> so i agree with you and your friend is wrong.

poor guy.

> yes - exactly as me.

> i always try to be agreable with people, but is common people
> considering my way looking an aggressive one. I don`t know why.
> It`s common that i thought i was so likable with somebody, and
> this somebody considered me unpleasant.

i get the range of being boring to dull to be stand-offish.

> at 6pm normally is the time of the day i am more sleepy. But
> after 11pm i am with all my energy.

> this is ok.

> the lies can`t stand for a very longtime.

> i am really glad because of you. i hope things become still
> better.

ugh. well, we'll see.

> i am a really bad liar for everything.

> lately i`ve been training to say enormous and stupid lies to my
> friends, to see if they believe in me.

heh. they're going to think you've fallen off your nut.

> i have some impressive success. Perhaps i`ll get to say some
> serious lies in the future.

I really don't have much reason to do anything like that.

> and i am too shy to insist to somebody to buy something from me.
> I think it`s not correct, if the person doesn`t really need the
> product.

that's me. I like seeing people as beings who can make up their own minds about what they want. I just don't have this concept of myself being the type to walk into a room and convince everyone they need a food dehydrator. Some people do. Some people either believe so strongly in their arguing skills that they will do it over the stupidest things, but to me, I look at the thing and just sort of, "well...it dehydrates food. That's about it."

> as me again.

> yes, and these kind of things don`t exist in brazil. It seem
> that even in ghettos social charity pays something to the poor.
> We almost don`t have it in brazil - i don`t how these people
> live.

Lord knows.

> there`s no doubt about it...

> it seems so.

> in brazil we don`t have this amount of money, and almost all
> money for sports go to soccer and volleyball (we had 4 medals in
> volley, and our soccer was a completely shame: cameron defeat
> brazil and they had two players lass than us...)

it's not merely that. the universities have tons of money to develop all of their athletic programs. The school I went to had about 3 different gyms and offered every imaginable sport.

> there`s no doubt the great american enterprises don`t think
> about the welfare of poor countries... anyway, the poor
> countries have some responsabilities too.

american enterprises don't think anything about poor americans.

> i understand you.

> it seems really funny - i would like to do something like that.

> unfortunately i would like to sing but i sing off-key.

i hate singing in front of people.

> what music scene has inside you don`t like?

the music business is bad. after knowing what I know, probably the only way I'd dip back into the scene is if I released an album myself, and forget playing shows or impressing some label guy. i would personally be too horrified to let a label own any of my songs, or have some @#!!!head club owners try and tell me that we didn't make any money at the door.

no, i'm not thinking about it, but to me, i think that if I were a producing artist, that would be the only way I would be happy. the entire time i tried performing, i found out that i really didn't care if anyone came, and it might be completely different if I had aspirations to have 500 people show up, or have the local newspapers care. I don't know, I just couldn't see it, and it felt completely weird and wrong.

Morrissey is so completely different in that area. There wasn't a visible moment where he didn't eat it up. He likes throwing himself around on the stage and taunting his audience. I, on the other hand, just like watching.

 

[Fabricio]

Re: Jules et Jim

oh! i finally have my computer again! (i put an answer more in the sequence of posts because i didn`t write you in a time a little bit long...)

i`ve been hearing all the time stories about viroses and so on, but i was too lazy to get an anti virus.

anyway, lots of people here got this "melissa" virus, and pratically
everybod had "excellent" anti virus...

>
> > it`s excellent.
>
> > but i came to hear it at work and i didn`t like it - then i have
> > perceived i didn`t use the correct earphones to these kind of
> > songs.
>
> > I had to change my earphones and suddenly i liked it again...
>
> oh what a little piece of electronic equipment will do.

oh yeah - i don`t know why bessie smith`s voice were so strident with my better earphones, and no so strident with the worse ones.

>
> > hehehe...
>
> > anyway, i know one or two morrissey fans that are really bright,
> > like you are.
>
> C'mon! Two of us can't keep the entire vessel afloat. We'll have to have a
> membership drive.

do you have any suggestions?

i could suggest greasetea but i know you wouldn`t like it... ))

>
> > perhaps not - the brazilian writer was completely crazy about
> > dylan. it seems that he read more than two hundred books about
> > him. but nowadays our brazilian writer is crazy about the
> > begining of brazilian story.
>
> maybe more productive than reading about Bob Dylan.

i think so - i`ve seen some of his interviews and his description of the period is really exciting. Unfortunately i`ve never read one of his books, because they are not about the WWII... )

>
> > i am not so crazy as he about the things that interest me, but i
> > understand him.
>
> > oh, i won`t say i am soo happy for you saying that because after
> > it you`ll be someway ironic with me.
>
> > (but i was soo happy indeed...)
>
> wait...i don't understand if you are being serious or sarcastic

ok, i`ll tell you the truth: i really really like you said a good thing about me. I hope you won`t tease me because of this...

>
> > hehehe... anyway they do some things.
>
> > in brazil they are just corrupt all the time.
>
> > but... you like to write, don`t you?
>
> sometimes. It depends.

???

>
> > why people like us are like that?
>
> > perhaps this is a way of self defense, but i don`t know.
>
> that part of my brain is usually asleep. It's not very quick on >it's feet, so
> it's off line most of the time.
>

the part of talking?

oh, i understand you - but perhaps my case is that often i know what people will say, and i am simply bored of hearing the same thing again and again and again.

> > perhaps he is professing all the time his eternal love for
> > someone somewhere and almost nobody understands him.
>
> and he tries as hard as he can to be cryptic.

perhaps he is no so cryptic to the person he loves.

>
> so, the question is what sort of love is he looking for? Long
> distance like he
> was a fan admiring a star? Close up with all the dynamics of a daily
> relationship where you have to rub each other's feet and pretend
> that you
> don't mind the smell?

i think he loves somebody with whom he wanted to have a daily relationship, but he simply can`t have this relationship.

>
> anyway, i was reading somewhere else on this website how when he
>got his hair
> cut the entire salon had to be emptied of everyone except for the >person
> cutting his hair, and I wonder, what sort of life is that? I know >he's not a
> very talkative guy, but how easy can you be around people when you >feel that
> you have to empty a place just so you can do a daily activity?

that`s it: he knows who is the person he wants to be with, he knows he can`t stay with her (or him...), and he doesn`t looks for somebody else.

but he doesn`t seem such a bad guy, does he?

>
> I ought to try it at Supercuts one day. Go in, and wave a $20 bill >around and
> see what happens. :^)

sorry... do you want to do the same thing as morrissey when you`ll get your hair?

>
> > why i am the wrong here?
>
> > in my age i have no more surprises, you see.
>
> you never know.

hehehe... that`s true...

>
> > what i think is that if a woman just want to have an affair she
> > will find a man in the end.
>
> Yes, she will. A Man. But women like a little selection in what >they get. It
> isn't like the movies where a random beautiful girl can walk up to >a guy and
> having him ready and willing.

oh really - when i was younger i thought women selected too much in reality... )

>
> > but not necessarily the man she wants.
>
> > so i agree with you and your friend is wrong.
>
> poor guy.
>
> > yes - exactly as me.
>
> > i always try to be agreable with people, but is common people
> > considering my way looking an aggressive one. I don`t know why.
> > It`s common that i thought i was so likable with somebody, and
> > this somebody considered me unpleasant.
>
> i get the range of being boring to dull to be stand-offish.

but suzanne... people really consider you "boring to dull" in real life?

>
> > at 6pm normally is the time of the day i am more sleepy. But
> > after 11pm i am with all my energy.
>
> > this is ok.
>
> > the lies can`t stand for a very longtime.
>
> > i am really glad because of you. i hope things become still
> > better.
>
> ugh. well, we'll see.

everything is ok?

>
> > i am a really bad liar for everything.
>
> > lately i`ve been training to say enormous and stupid lies to my
> > friends, to see if they believe in me.
>
> heh. they're going to think you've fallen off your nut.

hehe... perhaps so...

anyway, it`s strategically important to be a good liar sometimes - see Morrissey for example. Recently in two interviews he said he never had an affair in one interview and that he was not celibate anymore in another one.

>
> > i have some impressive success. Perhaps i`ll get to say some
> > serious lies in the future.
>
> I really don't have much reason to do anything like that.

it`s funny - anyway i can`t see me saying lies that will prejudice anyone.

>
> > and i am too shy to insist to somebody to buy something from me.
> > I think it`s not correct, if the person doesn`t really need the
> > product.
>
> that's me. I like seeing people as beings who can make up their own >minds
> about what they want. I just don't have this concept of myself >being the type
> to walk into a room and convince everyone they need a food >dehydrator. Some
> people do. Some people either believe so strongly in their arguing >skills that
> they will do it over the stupidest things, but to me, I look at the >thing and
> just sort of, "well...it dehydrates food. That's about it."
>
heh... "do you want to dehydrate your food?" "No." "I understand you -this is worthless"

i think i would be a seller like that to.

> > as me again.
>
> > yes, and these kind of things don`t exist in brazil. It seem
> > that even in ghettos social charity pays something to the poor.
> > We almost don`t have it in brazil - i don`t how these people
> > live.
>
> Lord knows.

do you believe in the Lord, don`t you?

>
> > there`s no doubt about it...
>
> > it seems so.
>
> > in brazil we don`t have this amount of money, and almost all
> > money for sports go to soccer and volleyball (we had 4 medals in
> > volley, and our soccer was a completely shame: cameron defeat
> > brazil and they had two players lass than us...)
>
> it's not merely that. the universities have tons of money to >develop all of
> their athletic programs. The school I went to had about 3 different >gyms and
> offered every imaginable sport.

this is excellent indeed. I was a sportsman, i swam in competitions - i was not a good swimmer, but perhaps swimming didn`t permit i became crazy.

>
> > there`s no doubt the great american enterprises don`t think
> > about the welfare of poor countries... anyway, the poor
> > countries have some responsabilities too.
>
> american enterprises don't think anything about poor americans.

i see - but they make some charity, don`t they?

>
> > i understand you.
>
> > it seems really funny - i would like to do something like that.
>
> > unfortunately i would like to sing but i sing off-key.
>
> i hate singing in front of people.

really? why?

i have to give classes in front of people...

oh yeah this is really scaring sometimes...

>
> > what music scene has inside you don`t like?
>
> the music business is bad. after knowing what I know, probably the >only way
> I'd dip back into the scene is if I released an album myself, and >forget
> playing shows or impressing some label guy. i would personally be >too
> horrified to let a label own any of my songs, or have some @#!!!>head club
> owners try and tell me that we didn't make any money at the door.

it must be horrible indeed - but what they can`t see is that the great composers were the most authentic one.
>
> no, i'm not thinking about it, but to me, i think that if I were a >producing
> artist, that would be the only way I would be happy. the entire >time i tried
> performing, i found out that i really didn't care if anyone came, >and it might
> be completely different if I had aspirations to have 500 people >show up, or
> have the local newspapers care. I don't know, I just couldn't see >it, and it
> felt completely weird and wrong.

but perhaps this is the best way of making good songs: you simply don`t care about what other people think.

> Morrissey is so completely different in that area. There wasn't a >visible
> moment where he didn't eat it up. He likes throwing himself around >on the
> stage and taunting his audience.

for a so-called shy person, his attitude in shows are really surprising.

you see, i remember almost everyday Morrissey came to curitiba and i watched a show of his.

i still feel pratically the same gladness i felt that day...

>I, on the other hand, just like watching.

i would do the same if i was a singer.

 

[suzanne]

let's hunt and kill Billy Ray Cyrus

@#!!!.

i started typing stuff, i hit a wrong button, the entire post disappears and i don't know how to bring it all back.

i'll be back later....