F
Fairy Nuff
Guest
taken from this month's Viz.
for anybody not familiar, I've added a couple of their other tips, just so you know what kind of thing we call "humor".
MORRISSEY Stop chirping on about the USA and capitalism in your songs when a) you live over there and b) you go on chat shows just to promote your new album you f***ing charlatan. The Jones Boy, Chesterfield
STAR TIP
Car owners. Dissuade humorous neighbours from saying "you can do mine next" when you're cleaning your car by keeping a hammer in your pocket and starting to batter your windscreen when you see them approaching.
BANGING two pistachio nut-shells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.
KEEP an empty bottle of milk in your fridge in case someones black coffee or even tea.
GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending a £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.
A MALT loaf is just the right size and colour to sculpt a convincing pair of decent-sized human turds. Don't forget to taper one end.
STUDENTS. When asked to write a 3000 word essay, simply draw 3 pictures, as they are worth 1000 words each.
for anybody not familiar, I've added a couple of their other tips, just so you know what kind of thing we call "humor".
MORRISSEY Stop chirping on about the USA and capitalism in your songs when a) you live over there and b) you go on chat shows just to promote your new album you f***ing charlatan. The Jones Boy, Chesterfield
STAR TIP
Car owners. Dissuade humorous neighbours from saying "you can do mine next" when you're cleaning your car by keeping a hammer in your pocket and starting to batter your windscreen when you see them approaching.
BANGING two pistachio nut-shells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.
KEEP an empty bottle of milk in your fridge in case someones black coffee or even tea.
GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending a £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.
A MALT loaf is just the right size and colour to sculpt a convincing pair of decent-sized human turds. Don't forget to taper one end.
STUDENTS. When asked to write a 3000 word essay, simply draw 3 pictures, as they are worth 1000 words each.
