Single people, are you happy with your singleness?

Single people, are you happy with your singleness?

  • Total voters
    40
Arsenal said:
No, it's not. You cannot be free to do what you want with whomever you want, whenever you want when in a relationship, and especially not in marriage as there are financial and legal penalties for doing so.

You cannot be locked into a relationship, never mind a legal contract (aka marriage) and still have that freedom. You just cannot.
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This is very true. Although I would by no means consider myself "locked" into my relationship, there are certain things that I have to keep in mind, as does my significant other. We have to think about each others feelings, and can't and don't do certain things if we don't want to upset each other. However it's not something that I mind and it's something that I'm happy to do. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything at all.
 
Having been in a failed marriage and having been out of that for about six
years I could never go back to being in a relationship that is
not fulfilling and happy......
However having said all that, the fact is that I am not really happy with
being single when all my female friends are attached or as soon as a sniff
of cock comes their way they're off after it.....
Sorry to be vulgar, but I would not mind singledom so much if my best
girlfriend wasn't always off with some guy, who she'll be crying on my
shoulder about as soon as something goes wrong.......
 
Tell you what's great, not having to share sleeping space. I like to spread out!
 
no. because i'm not sure if people see anything likeable in me. a couple of girls had crushes on me, though. most gay guys i've known acted like i didn't even exist when i was around them.
 
Arsenal said:
No, it's not. You cannot be free to do what you want with whomever you want, whenever you want when in a relationship, and especially not in marriage as there are financial and legal penalties for doing so.

You cannot be locked into a relationship, never mind a legal contract (aka marriage) and still have that freedom. You just cannot.
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I have to disagree, as relationships are not a fixed concept. Indeed, there are many open relationships that exist on this plane we call life. In such relationships, they are free to be with whom they want, when they want, yet still be in a relationship with one significant another. Whether you agree with such an arangement is a moot point, as it exists and works for them (whoever they may be). Also in terms of marriage and more official unions, things such as pre-nupes etc can guarantee financial independance, and just because you are married, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to be joined at the hip, finance wise, although that is the norm from by-gone ages.
 
Mr Smith said:
I have to disagree, as relationships are not a fixed concept.
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99.9% of the time they are. In Western society, it is standard that a relationship = monogamy, and that by 'committing' to this person and entering a relationship (aside from a casual agreement like dating), you are agreeing to be monogamous, essentially 'locked in' to only seeing this one person.


Mr Smith said:
Indeed, there are many open relationships that exist on this plane we call life. In such relationships, they are free to be with whom they want, when they want, yet still be in a relationship with one significant another. Whether you agree with such an arangement is a moot point, as it exists and works for them (whoever they may be).
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But that isn't a monogamous relationship, that isn't 99.9% of relationships, generally speaking. I'm sure swingers do exist, but they are a small minority out of a large whole.

And why would anyone get into a relationship, of which the sole purpose is to have exclusive rights to the other person, and they to you, if the only intention is to cheat on them with other couples?

Yes, I am sure these couples do exist, but you are talking about such a small minority of people that it really doesn't apply to the overall whole, and what the vast majority of people see a relationship as, and expect from it.


Mr Smith said:
Also in terms of marriage and more official unions, things such as pre-nupes etc can guarantee financial independance, and just because you are married, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to be joined at the hip, finance wise, although that is the norm from by-gone ages.
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Incorrect. Prenuptial agreements are routinely disputed and overturned. You only have to look as far as divorces in America, say big sports stars or celebrities to see that the wife signed a prenuptial agreement before the husband got rich, he offered her a small amount, and since he hit the big time or got famous she wants more, and gets it.

When the circumstances of the marriage change, prenuptial can basically be used as toilet paper. The law is the same in Britain as I found out:


Secondly, if a marriage lasts for a substantial time, the circumstances of either the husband or wife can change radically from those anticipated at the time of entering into the contract (by having children, for instance), making the agreement irrelevant. Current UK law ensures that "the court has a duty to consider all the circumstances of the case when considering financial relief as between the parties". Put more simply,the court will take into account the individual circumstances of the marital dispute and allocate financial support accordingly.
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http:
//archive.oxfordmail.net/1998/9/5/84464.html

So if you have your wife sign a prenuptial agreement that she gets no spousal support, the bare minimum of your possessions and money the law requires and none of your property, and then 5 years later you have become very successful, whereas you were not when she signed it, she has every right to dispute it and she will most likely win according to the law.

Prenuptials can prevent one from losing everything, but only under the right circumstances. They by no means guarantee anything.
 
being happily single beats being in a miserable marriage anyday! i went off on my mom last year when she said is was so terrible that i had never been married. I explained to her that what really would have been tragic was if I HAD married one of the bozos I dated.

That brings up another point which may be another thread all together. My guy's divorce was finalized last month (yay!). My mother and friends are now going on about us getting married. I totally see this relationship as a very long term one. At this point, we're both in our 40s and are not planning on having kids so what would be the benefit of us even walking down the aisle? Call me sickly romantic but I don't see how a piece of paper would make our relationship stronger.
 
MsChievous said:
I totally see this relationship as a very long term one. At this point, we're both in our 40s and are not planning on having kids so what would be the benefit of us even walking down the aisle? Call me sickly romantic but I don't see how a piece of paper would make our relationship stronger.
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Depending on where you live, the benefit would be the ability to make health care decisions, to have access to each other in the hospital, etc. If you're sure you don't want to get married, both of you should see an attorney and make each other reciprocal health care power of attorney. It would really suck if one of you was in an accident and the other could not even find out his/her condition because of privacy laws.
 
MsChievous said:
That brings up another point which may be another thread all together. My guy's divorce was finalized last month (yay!). My mother and friends are now going on about us getting married. I totally see this relationship as a very long term one. At this point, we're both in our 40s and are not planning on having kids so what would be the benefit of us even walking down the aisle? Call me sickly romantic but I don't see how a piece of paper would make our relationship stronger.
Click to expand...

Who says you have to walk down the aisle? Just walk down the hallway at the city courthouse.
 
Not Right in the Head said:
Who says you have to walk down the aisle? Just walk down the hallway at the city courthouse.
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IF that happens, I'm think more of eloping some place w/ sand and surf. then tell everybody after we get back from "vacation". my brother got married a few years ago and my mom drove us all nuts. i cant see going through it and not killing her.:p
 
MsChievous said:
IF that happens, I'm think more of eloping some place w/ sand and surf. then tell everybody after we get back from "vacation". my brother got married a few years ago and my mom drove us all nuts. i cant see going through it and not killing her.:p
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I know exactly what you mean. In the end, though, we did the Good Son/Daughter thing and had a traditional-ish chapel ceremony & reception. And it was great.
 
All I want is someone to hold my hand and pretend to be interested in my obsession with The Teddy Bears 'To Know Him Is To Love Him.'
 
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