I need some advice...

[Silly Wabbit]

Until yesterday, I was a virgin. (Im a guy by the way)

Yesterday, at the local K-Mart I was having a quick hotdog, popcorn, and a coke at those gross quick-mart type stores inside K-Mart, WalMart, and places like it. I wanted to get a refill on my coke before I left. When I went to pay for it, this short, about 5'4' retarded man, about 24, served me my drink and winked at me through his rough, think, glasses. He was missing his 4 front teeth, but I could tell he was smiling.

Anyway, because Im a virgin, virtually anything excites me-even homo-erotic situations such as this one. I thought what better way to have my first sexual encounter than with a retard who, by virtue of being retarded, has no friends and can't tell anyone how good or bad I am.

So I motioned for him to come to the back of the store, behind all the polyester pants and christmas sweaters(yes I know its summer, why they are selling christmas sweaters at this time I do not know). Granted he was a little strange looking, but my erection bypassed the negatives (missing teeth, pit stained Big Bird t-shirt, protruding chest hair, explicit body oder, and a lop-sided face). I put his helmet on him, bent him over a short rack of pants, and banged away. I thrust so hard people could have heard me. Luckily no one could, due to the inherent loudness of a deptartment store and the continual announcements over the intercom. My last thrust, where I released my warm, moist, sticky man juice into his crusty asshole was so hard, it gave him a cut on his lop-sided sweaty forhead.

My question for you is, do you think I should have offered him a band-aid, since I had one in my pocket, instead of saying goodbye and walked away zipping up my jeans?

Thanks for the help in advance.

 

[Moz's unworn undies]

> My question for you is, do you think I should have offered him a band-aid,
> since I had one in my pocket, instead of saying goodbye and walked away
> zipping up my jeans?

It's a shame that you didn't inflict injury to yourself, whilst zipping up your jeans! This might have prevented other such homosexual-polyester-related incidents.

 

[TOMMY]

I HAVE A QUESTION

WHY DIDN'T YOU KISS HIM. THAT WAS RUDE.

TOMMY

> Until yesterday, I was a virgin. (Im a guy by the way)

> Yesterday, at the local K-Mart I was having a quick hotdog, popcorn, and a
> coke at those gross quick-mart type stores inside K-Mart, WalMart, and
> places like it. I wanted to get a refill on my coke before I left. When I
> went to pay for it, this short, about 5'4' retarded man, about 24, served
> me my drink and winked at me through his rough, think, glasses. He was
> missing his 4 front teeth, but I could tell he was smiling.

> Anyway, because Im a virgin, virtually anything excites me-even
> homo-erotic situations such as this one. I thought what better way to have
> my first sexual encounter than with a retard who, by virtue of being
> retarded, has no friends and can't tell anyone how good or bad I am.

> So I motioned for him to come to the back of the store, behind all the
> polyester pants and christmas sweaters(yes I know its summer, why they are
> selling christmas sweaters at this time I do not know). Granted he was a
> little strange looking, but my erection bypassed the negatives (missing
> teeth, pit stained Big Bird t-shirt, protruding chest hair, explicit body
> oder, and a lop-sided face). I put his helmet on him, bent him over a
> short rack of pants, and banged away. I thrust so hard people could have
> heard me. Luckily no one could, due to the inherent loudness of a
> deptartment store and the continual announcements over the intercom. My
> last thrust, where I released my warm, moist, sticky man juice into his
> crusty asshole was so hard, it gave him a cut on his lop-sided sweaty
> forhead.

> My question for you is, do you think I should have offered him a band-aid,
> since I had one in my pocket, instead of saying goodbye and walked away
> zipping up my jeans?

> Thanks for the help in advance.

 

[Jenny C.]

I hope you wiped the schit off your dick before zipping up.

> Until yesterday, I was a virgin. (Im a guy by the way)

> Yesterday, at the local K-Mart I was having a quick hotdog, popcorn, and a
> coke at those gross quick-mart type stores inside K-Mart, WalMart, and
> places like it. I wanted to get a refill on my coke before I left. When I
> went to pay for it, this short, about 5'4' retarded man, about 24, served
> me my drink and winked at me through his rough, think, glasses. He was
> missing his 4 front teeth, but I could tell he was smiling.

> Anyway, because Im a virgin, virtually anything excites me-even
> homo-erotic situations such as this one. I thought what better way to have
> my first sexual encounter than with a retard who, by virtue of being
> retarded, has no friends and can't tell anyone how good or bad I am.

> So I motioned for him to come to the back of the store, behind all the
> polyester pants and christmas sweaters(yes I know its summer, why they are
> selling christmas sweaters at this time I do not know). Granted he was a
> little strange looking, but my erection bypassed the negatives (missing
> teeth, pit stained Big Bird t-shirt, protruding chest hair, explicit body
> oder, and a lop-sided face). I put his helmet on him, bent him over a
> short rack of pants, and banged away. I thrust so hard people could have
> heard me. Luckily no one could, due to the inherent loudness of a
> deptartment store and the continual announcements over the intercom. My
> last thrust, where I released my warm, moist, sticky man juice into his
> crusty asshole was so hard, it gave him a cut on his lop-sided sweaty
> forhead.

> My question for you is, do you think I should have offered him a band-aid,
> since I had one in my pocket, instead of saying goodbye and walked away
> zipping up my jeans?

> Thanks for the help in advance.

 

[Silly Wabbit]

Actually, some of the residue was on the zipper portion of my jeans.

 

[Silly Wabbit]

> It's a shame that you didn't inflict injury to yourself, whilst zipping up
> your jeans! This might have prevented other such
> homosexual-polyester-related incidents.

Perhaps, but What Difference Does it MAke?

 

[Silly Wabbit]

Re: I HAVE A QUESTION

> WHY DIDN'T YOU KISS HIM. THAT WAS RUDE.

I know, but you some, you lose some.

 

[Linder's Used Tampon]

> Perhaps, but What Difference Does it MAke?

It makes none, but, but you are one, ve-ry si-lly homo-sexual guy.

But I'm still fond of you.

Oh-ho-ho-o

 

[Linder's Used Tampon]

> Actually, some of the residue was on the zipper portion of my jeans.

Always check with a finger before insertion. If you feel lumps, wait til tomorrow.

In an unconstipated bowel, the lower intestine should be pretty much 'shit free'.

 

[Bud]

HOW TO prep for anal SEX

> Always check with a finger before insertion. If you feel lumps, wait til
> tomorrow.

> In an unconstipated bowel, the lower intestine should be pretty much 'shit
> free'.

I've always found that douching, yes douching right before anal sex clears the canal of all nastiness. Get yourself a disposable douche and use warm water. Not only are you guaranteed a skid free f***, but it also feels good too!