Two Jokes (No Moz -- Catholic Humour)

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Codreanu

Guest
This board could use a little comic relief...

1) Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone."

The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.

Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."

2) A Jewish couple has a son who is a holy terror. When he gets to be of age, he's kicked out of every school they put him in. Finally desperate, the father goes to the Rabbi for advice and the Rabbi says put him in the Catholic school. Shocked, the father asks if the Rabbi sure. "Yes" is the reply, so the father takes him to the nuns and leaves.

An hour goes by, then two hours, lunch time and finally at three the son comes in says "Good afternoon Papa, good afternoon Mama," goes to the table and starts on his homework. The father is amazed and finally ask why he stayed in school all day and why he is behaving so well. His son looks up and says "Papa when you left, the Mother Superior told me that they did not allow rowdy boys, then she took me to my room. Papa they mean business! They've got a Jew nailed on a Cross in every room!"
 
Very good, very good

Here's a couple of classic groaners:

Whats the first mention of elastic in the bible?

Jesus tied his ass to a tree and walked to Jerusalem.

Whats the first mention television in the bible?

Moses saw fire on the Bush.

> This board could use a little comic relief...

> 1) Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people
> surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was
> preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let
> the person who has no sin cast the first stone."

> The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a
> lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the
> front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.

> Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that,
> Mom."

> 2) A Jewish couple has a son who is a holy terror. When he gets to be of
> age, he's kicked out of every school they put him in. Finally desperate,
> the father goes to the Rabbi for advice and the Rabbi says put him in the
> Catholic school. Shocked, the father asks if the Rabbi sure.
> "Yes" is the reply, so the father takes him to the nuns and
> leaves.

> An hour goes by, then two hours, lunch time and finally at three the son
> comes in says "Good afternoon Papa, good afternoon Mama," goes
> to the table and starts on his homework. The father is amazed and finally
> ask why he stayed in school all day and why he is behaving so well. His
> son looks up and says "Papa when you left, the Mother Superior told
> me that they did not allow rowdy boys, then she took me to my room. Papa
> they mean business! They've got a Jew nailed on a Cross in every
> room!"
 

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