help wanted

[Mindy]

does anyone have any advice on poetry writing (i.e. how to write poetry that doesn't suck)? does anyone have any suggestions on how i can get noticed in the poetry scene or find a mentor? (hell, is there a poetry scene in los angeles. just kidding. i know there must be.) if anyone wants to help me out, please email me or feel free to talk to me via instant messenger. on AIM, i'm shinemonkee. my yahoo one should be obvious and my hotmail one is [email protected]. thanks a bundle in advance!

 

[suzanne]

> does anyone have any advice on poetry writing (i.e. how to write poetry
> that doesn't suck)? does anyone have any suggestions on how i can get
> noticed in the poetry scene or find a mentor? (hell, is there a poetry
> scene in los angeles. just kidding. i know there must be.) if anyone wants
> to help me out, please email me or feel free to talk to me via instant
> messenger. on AIM, i'm shinemonkee. my yahoo one should be obvious and my
> hotmail one is [email protected] . thanks a bundle in
> advance!

usually the weekly arts/entertainment newspaper that you pick up around town (don't know what it would be called in LA, but i assume you have one as most larger cities do) has a section in it with poetry and the various groups who have open mics and poetry discussion.

 

[Mindy]

p.s. please don't send mail to the hotmail address. i use that address as a messenger account only. the email has become a dumping ground for spam. i don't bother with it anymore. thanks!

 

[Patrick McCann]

Here's one , Mindy.

There was a young man from Tranent
Whose cock was helluva bent
To save him the trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.

You can use that if you want. I don't have it copywrited or anything like that. I'm not the type who'll have a big nose who knows.

 

[Mindy]

thanks, patrick. i suppose you know the nantucket one.

 

[CrushingBore]

1. Read lots. Pick the good stuff to pieces and work out why you think it's great.
2. Do it your way. Trying to be the next Robert Lowell will only leave you sounding like a Robert Lowell ripoff.
3. Write, write and then write some more.
4. The most commonly-issued peice of advice I've ever heard from great poets is "don't try and publish anything until you're at least 30"
5. Understand that performance poetry is public masturbation. Great poetry is meant to be READ, not PERFORMED.
6. Ignore the advice of unsuccesful twats of the likes of such as one CrushingBore.

Confused? Well, then you're at least half way there...

 

[Patrick McCann]

> 5. Understand that performance poetry is public masturbation. Great poetry
> is meant to be READ, not PERFORMED.

Exactly!! That's what my poem's about.

 

[Mindy]

thanks bore, i have some very odd reasons for wanting to get into poetry, which i shall not mention on this board, but i think your advice will be helpful. which poets do you recommend? i have a longstanding obsession with the english and american romantics, and especially love poe, blake, and keats. (i think byron is awesome too, but his love poetry stinks. my favorite thing of his is manfred.) but somehow, i don't think that those names are really hip on the poetry circuit. okay, well i know they aren't.

by the way, your statement about public poetry reminded me of something funny. in one of my french classes, we're studying french literary reviews. one of the hippest is called "java." one year, "java" decided to be all avant-garde and put out a review on video. a lot of the featured poets read normal poems and didn't get all into it. it wasn't like some poetry slam at a coffee house. but there was one guy who kept repeating "je suis sous la terre" over and over in different ways: high voice, low voice, whisper, shout, fast, slow. it was almost embarrassing to watch. i call that performance art, not poetry. the whole class couldn't stop laughing.

 

[Mindy]

thanks suzanne. i'll keep an eye out.

 

[Mr.Improper PIMP and glad to be one]

I do:dont do it!!!!! No one listens to you know and they didnt listen to you when you used your faulty english accent. Stick to what you're good at:eating,and rimjobs and talking too much!!!!!!. Dont deviate from those three.

 

[Rowdy Yeats]

I defer to Mr. Bukowski...

How to be a great writer by Charles Bukowski

you've got to f*** a great many women
beautiful women
and write a few decent love poems.

and don't worry about age
and/or freshly-arrived talents.

just drink more beer
more and more beer

and attend the racetrack at least once a week

and win
if possible

learning to win is hard -
any slob can be a good loser.

and don't forget your Brahms
and your Bach and your
beer.

don't overexercise.

sleep until noon.

avoid paying credit cards
or paying for anything on
time.

remember that there isn't a piece of ass
in this world over $50
(in 1977).

and if you have the ability to love
love yourself first
but always be aware of the possibility of
total defeat
whether the reason for that defeat
seems right or wrong -

an early taste of death is not necessarily
a bad thing.

stay out of churches and bars and museums,
and like the spider be
patient -
time is everybody's cross,
plus
exile
defeat
treachery

all that dross.

stay with the beer.

beer is continuous blood.

a continuous lover.

get a large typewriter
and as the footsteps go up and down
outside your window

hit that thing
hit it hard

make it a heavyweight fight

make it the bull when he first charges in

and remember the old dogs
who fought so well:
Hemingway, Celine, Dostoevsky, Hamsun.

If you think they didn't go crazy
in tiny rooms
just like you're doing now

without women
without food
without hope

then you're not ready.

drink more beer.
there's time.
and if there's not
that's all right
too.

 

[Rowdy Yeats]

and one more from Chas. and then I'll stop..

I'd tell them to have an unhappy love
affair, hemorrhoids, bad teeth
and to drink cheap wine.
avoid opera and golf and chess
to keep switching the head of their
bed from wall to wall
and then I'd tell them to have
another unhappy love affair
and never to use a silk typewriter
ribbon.
avoid family picnics
or being photographed in a rose
garden:
read hemingway only once,
skip faulkner
ignore gogol
stare at photos of gertrude stein
and read sherwood anderson in bed
while eating ritz crackers,
realize that people who keep
talking about sexual liberation
are more frightened than you are.
listen to e. power biggs work the
organ on your radio while you're
rolling bull durham in the dark
in a strange town
with one-day left on the rent
after having given up
friends, relatives and jobs.
never consider yourself superior and/
or fair
and never try to be.
have another unhappy love affair.
watch a fly on a summer curtain.
never try to succeed.
don't shoot pool.
be righteously angry when you
find your car has a flat tire.
take vitamins but don't lift weights or jog.

then after all this
reverse the procedure.
have a good love affair.
and the thing
you might learn
is that nobody knows anything -
not the state, nor the mice
the garden hose or the north star.
and if you ever catch me
teaching a creative writing class
and you read this back to me
I'll give you a straight A
right up the pickle
barrel.

 

[david]

poetry

> does anyone have any advice on poetry writing (i.e. how to write poetry
> that doesn't suck)? does anyone have any suggestions on how i can get
> noticed in the poetry scene or find a mentor? (hell, is there a poetry
> scene in los angeles. just kidding. i know there must be.) if anyone wants
> to help me out, please email me or feel free to talk to me via instant
> messenger. on AIM, i'm shinemonkee. my yahoo one should be obvious and my
> hotmail one is [email protected] . thanks a bundle in
> advance!

don't try and write about stuff that you don't feel strongly about
write about what is important to you and what you realy feel and you'll be fine

PS I am not a poet