Let the record show that the first two votes were for "other." Which may or may not have any significance.

But it most likely means that the poll sucks.

...are probably meant for halloween if i wanted to scare somebody. i'm sure they would be turned over to Homeland Security as evidence of "terrorist activity" if i mailed them.

morrissey deserves a lump of coal as always. that, or maybe manuscripts to everything i've written. maybe i should include the lump of coal if he wants to get a good fire going underneath them all. i don't know. all i know is that he must be hard to shop for because he seems like the type is always first in line with his purchase even if its something he's only somewhat interested in....or maybe not. i remember he said in an interview that he had 20 copies of a particular Joni Mitchell album because he's in the mood and buys it if he doesn't have one of his other copies around. i could feasibly buy him another copy and he could be happy.

A new band?

Made up of lads that actually know how to play and write a decent tune?

Brent

I'd like to stick Tony Blair in the stocking with some bricks, tie it up and chuck him in the river.

.......... unless Moz would prefer a woolen jumper with a horrible pattern on it.

This surpasses the many "Worst Poll Ever" polls from recent times. The person who suggested this poll really must have had a personality and humour bypass at some point... augmented only by whoever picks which polls to use actually using it! I can't decide who is the most insane/sad/deluded!

Even as a "lighthearted" or "silly" poll (which I sometimes enjoy incidentally - so no spoilsport replies please!) this one really does reach a nadir of pointlessness and banality!

Stop! Stop! Stop the rubbish polls please!!!

This an amazing and potentially important forum for proper discussion on all things Morrissey! Don't spoil it with nonsensical and childish fantasies!!!

Honestly... words really do fail me sometimes!

Science has given us a global internet... let's not reduce it to the level of bathroom wall graffiti!

TT

anderson. He needs a good lay.

I'd like to give Morrissey some way to graciously end his carreer.

Let's face it. He's past it.

Let's hope he calls it a day before it becomes embarrassing.

But I would love to give him a little "summer sausage"

By the way for all of you losers who complained about the last poll *submitted by me* this poll is a total disaster. At least have some funny answers as choices. I vote that we find out who the loser is who put this poll up and shove a stocking up his ass

Maybe he should give us all a gift given the amount of cash we have given him over the years!

It works wonders...

....My foot

...either a scalextrix...or kerplunk...?

what do you reckon?

Spong Boy

so many things i would like to stick in his stocking! but i would say the top three would be the head of Judge Weeks (guaranteed to get applause from our man mozz!), kittens (who doesnt love kitties?!) and a certificate to get some dance lessons! Just because he's a lyrical genius, good-looking, rich and a music icon doesnt mean he should be flooping on stage like an epileptic baby seal! Damn, but is that akward!

Maplefreak.

I would put me in there.

Not so I could jump out so the two of us could play grab-ass. Not so I could meet him and talk to him. So I could hide in there and see what he does when no one is around!

HO HO HO!

Myself, of course. Again, to the moaners and whiners, if you don't like the polls why not ignore them? I mean really, we all like a bit of a laugh, that is what they're meant for aren't they?

Let's see.. 5 concerts, YATQ, ALL the singles, the platimun quarry, the planned purchase of the live stuff next year, etc etc etc. Not bad for 10 months time.

How about a Mens Wimbledon Championship for an Englishman since it hasn't happened since Hitler was in charge of Germany.

Has "other" ever had such a triumph?

We may never again look at "other" in the same way.

Prove 'em wrong, little guy.

A David Bowie CD, a copy of “you are the Quarry” downloaded from the internet (with the B sides of singles), a Liverpool football shirt and a university course in becoming a lawyer.
I’d like to see his face!

Mike Joyce's balls

Little MAN, What Now?

ILOVEKC

Maybe a fluffy grey cloud from England for inspiration. He could affix it to the top of his head with string and tie it in a neat little knot underneath his chin. This would look spectacular on stage.

Also maybe a rabbit that could talk, a man with a lion's head and some vegatarian sprouts.

Happy Christmas Steven.

...the head of that horse he killed..

I'd love to give him one.
He'd love it, too.

Send him Johnny Marr Or some of his tapes(If Only!)

Moz, If you let me kiss you I would take you to the heaven of my bed...If only!!! *sigh*

Girly

I think I would like to stuff in a better poll question on this site. I find the recent ones lacking. Maybe "what's your favorite Smiths/Morrissey" bootleg would be a better choice. Or maybe not.

I'd like to give Morrissey a piece of my mind

I would ask him to personally intervene in this website in order for us to get smarter, more serious, more interesting polls!!!! C'mon, maybe only if Moz himself asked that, you'd stop these foolish polls... sigh.

I would put a bar of very nice chocolate and a bottle of neroli essential oil, because it is the most beautifulsmell on the planet - apart from Morrissey's shirt. Oh, and letter telling him how much he means to me, and thanking him for everything he has done for me. It is trite and it isn't much, but I know no better.

Am I the only one who really doesn't understand what that means?

Does it mean we should dig up Oscar Wilde's body, somehow bring him back to life, get him to sign himself, die again, and then give that to Moz?

Mmmm, Merry Christmas, have a 100 year old corpse.

Dont you think we should send him johnny marr wouldnt that be every smith fans dream!That should be an option wrap Johnny marr up in a nice box with a big bow and leave him on morriseys doorstep.Wouldnt that be nice!

for cancelling Austin & Houston on the tour!!

he would love that. another instance of when meat wouldn't be murder. ha ha. how lame.

I will bet my right plum that the next 'Poll' is;
Which gig was the best on the tour this year?
And there will be about 500 conflicting comments.

A gift certificate to Dr. 90210
give a face lift, and hair transplant.