It’s hot and bright. And I hate it! I adore the nighttime. Mostly this is so because I prefer cool weather and dim lighting. Everything feels and looks better when the sun has gone away. If you want your house to appear tidy, keep the lighting low. Whenever it is too bright inside, I am dreadfully reminded that I am not the best housekeeper. Every pesky spot, speck, and smudge shows--or rather screams: “You suck! Who taught you to keep house? Isn’t that your job?” And then the guilt--the shame--sets in. Yes, isn’t that my job?! And so…

Today--being one of those bright and hot afternoons--I happened to notice that the fireplace was full of ashes. Yes, it is June. But here in Flagstaff we still get snow in April and even May--occasionally. So it’s not like I’ve been neglectful for ages--just a month or so. But wait! Is cleaning the fireplace even my job? Isn’t it gross and really dirty work--a man’s job, perhaps?

Still contemplating, I put on latex gloves, nestled the trashcan up to the ledge of the fireplace, and began to remove the ashes. I decide that it is definitely a man’s job… my husband should be doing this. Then I start thinking... Gee, Alan sure is NOT a do-it-for-yourself, fix-it kind of guy. His hands are cleaner and softer than mine.

Then I got to thinking about my stepfather, who is also NOT a fixer-upper. When something needs done, he pays someone else to do it. He pays do-it-for-yourself and do-it-for-others kinds of guys. He is a white-collar man all the way--defined mostly by his ability to pay others to do his dirty work for him. Of course, by this logic, I suppose a mob boss is white-collar as well. Sorry--I couldn't resist.

But my husband can’t afford to pay blue-collar guys to do his dirty work. He isn’t that well off. Most men aren’t. And most men also don’t want to do that dirty work. And some may have escaped being told that it is their job. And, maybe they have never been shown how to do these kinds of tasks--by a male role model, of course. I call these kinds of guys the in-betweens. They’re not quite white-collar--but aspire to be so. And they are not quite blue-collar--an identity that they try hard NOT to embrace--even if this is all happening in their subconsciousnesses.

So what is an in-between to do? He has three choices: 1) Neglect doing the man's work and learn to love the grime. 2) Perform these dirty tasks but tell all--including himself--that he has a maid who does them. 3) Have his wife clean out the fireplace and do all the other man jobs that need to be done around the house.

My husband has clearly chosen the last option. Hehe.

Well, time to take that bag of ashes down to the trash dumpster.

Ciao.

P.S.—I should add that my husband works his ass off--at a desk--forty hours a week. He is no sloth--just a white-collar guy in training.