Yes, I know it's cliched by now to use Moz lyrics in place of something original, but it just seemed so damned appropriate.

I was in Dublin a bit longer than I had anticipated (ha, okay, a LOT longer) and I didn't have time to, er, monitor how people responded to my comments on the general forum -- I had limited internet access, because it was pay internet, and they had opening/closing hours, etc.

So anyway, I had time tonight to go back through the old comments; on one of them, my new friend realitybites had wished me a Merry Christmas, and I responded. Some troll (hmm, I wonder who, well I know -- two people who love to be miserable to others, together -- but I'm taking the 'high road,' as it were, and not naming names) replied to my post -- ready? -- "Fuck off sycophantic Yank." Well, how thoughtful. Anonymous, of course. The epitome of cowardice. Why, why, why? I went to some of my other comments, specifically the Dublin gig comments. Another faceless person trolling my benign message. I've had some misunderstandings here, but I don't ever troll people -- I mean, for christ's sake!

Now, I was never before someone who was spiteful or vengeful in any way. Hell, I'm still not. However, in my entire life, no one has ever made me feel the way these anonymous comments do. How does one fight a phantom? Honestly...

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: Before I came to this site, I was a MORRISSEY PURIST. I thought every fan loved him as purely, deeply, and unconditionally as I do. I sincerely felt (and feel) that he and his music do represent the higher ideal we should all be striving for -- I've never encountered anything like it in my life. I've read innumerable novels -- classics, mostly -- every kind of poetry (sonnets, 'classics', freeverse, everything) and pretty much everything else under the sun. Nothing comes close to Morrissey, nothing, and I don't ever hesitate to point out his genius, what he means to me, or how special he and his music really are. I don't swear much, but *fuck* everyone who wants to call me a sycophant for that.

Old feuds -- that never even existed in the first place -- haunt me. I've been wondering, truly, why I subject myself to it. The gist of the feud causing the incessant trolling?
A 'fan' from the Bridlington gig got thrown out, and, while I was there and sort of involved, I most certainly did NOT get her thrown out. She was in Dublin too, and got thrown out there as well. I came on Morrissey-solo a few days later, and she was accusing me! ME?!?! Yes, I was there, but how in the HELL would I get anyone thrown out? WHY would I? I wouldn't. I didn't even KNOW she was thrown out until afterward -- she was really drunk, she did something herself to get thrown out, and I don't even know what that thing WAS! Hell, I probably would have HELPED her if I had known! Jesus H Christ. This whole thing is truly amazing to me.

I'm just so sick of all of this jejune horseshit. Honestly, I came here because I truly do love Moz in a very, very pure way. I didn't even know it was possible to feel such a pure emotion, I really didn't. (YES! I'm a sycophant! Yes! NOT! What complete and utter bullshit. Okay, so if you're a genuine fan, you're a sycophant! I get it now! What the hell ever, I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't care ONE IOTA what you people think of what I say.)

See, I was never this bitter. I've never been the happiest person, don't get me wrong, but I've always been on a reasonably even keel -- melancholy much of the time, but on a fairly even keel. This is the first time in my life that I've ever felt BITTER. Ever. Thank you, Moz-solo trolls, for ruining this place, ruining the forums, and tainting my mind with such garbage.

But, you know what? It won't work -- it won't last forever. The good here will prevail, somehow.
I just know it.