realitybites (13041)

realitybites
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Journal of realitybites (13041)

Monday January 04, 10

Altered States

01:06 PM

A few weeks ago, I started having pain in my lower and upper back. It got so bad that I became disabled--unable to use my desktop computer to work on my digital paintings. I was bummed. Ah well, I'd find something else to do. TV anyone? "Not her. No way," you say. "She'd rather clean toilets than park her arse in front of Xanax in a box--mother's little helper--the babysitter for babies and everyone else--the great programmer--the dear leader--God."

I'll admit that I was surprised as well when I exclaimed "Goodbye PC; hello TV Land!"

It started innocently enough, of course, just a few late-night episodes of one of my favorite sitcoms of all-time, Roseanne.

After a few days, I tried using my desktop again. Bam! Ouch! Shit! I realized that making my art was the cause of my back injury. I knew I had no choice but to stay away from the PC until I healed. At least I could still read the news and email on my iPod Touch or laptop. But creating my art was not so fun on my portables.

Back to Roseanne... After watching a few more episodes, I was suddenly cut off from my mind-numbing fix. No more Conners for the next twenty-one hours. Landford was now Korea. Sorry, but M*A*S*H* wasn't gonna do it for me. Withdrawal set-in rather quickly; panic almost took residence. Fortunately I remembered that I had seasons two and four of Roseanne waiting ever so patiently for me on my bookshelf. I have been a terrible owner. They have not been perused since I received them as a gift a few years back. Better late than never, right?

So that time had arrived. Roseanne here I come!

A few days and potato chip bags later, I finished off the two seasons. I wanted more! More!

iPod Touch in hand, I ordered seasons one and four off of Amazon.com. Love that site. My wallet hates it.

Last night... or rather early this morning, I caught the very last episode of the last season (9) of Roseanne on TV Land. Have you seen it? Know which one I'm talking about--the one where Roseanne kills off Dan?

Do you fault me for tearing up? I couldn't help it. I love Dan. He was like family. He was Roseanne's better half (e.g. Landford Speak for spouse.) I'll miss him.

Wait, I should have Dan and the whole Conner clan alive and well on four discs tomorrow.

TV.

TV dulls the mind; it's true.

But love hurts.

And back pain hurts.

And well, TV numbs the pain.

And so, while still feeling intoxicated by this massive consumption of mind-altering sitcoms, I feel ballsy enough to propose a toast to the Conners and all the other super, wonderfully charming, virtual families that we invite into our homes each week without asking them for much, and giving even less of ourselves in return.

realitybites

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