realitybites (13041)

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Journal of realitybites (13041)

Wednesday February 21, 07

How to NOT look like a tourist

03:27 AM

This evening, I teased Alan about a picture he has posted in his MySpace. The pic is of him wearing a gray t-shirt with "Canada" written on the front, along with a maple leaf. Also, he is sporting Bermuda shorts and sandals. So why do I poke fun? Well, yes I do think that Bermuda shorts are very unflattering on men... and women as well, for that matter. But what cracks me up is the shirt with the name of a country on the front. He says, "I was in Canada." I said, "Exactly!" I mean how many people wear shirts that say "The United States" on them? No one, right?! Not even those sweet, happy Japanese tourists. It's an absolute fashion disaster. Not only does it make one look kitschy, but it screams "TOURIST."

So first and foremost, don't advertise the city/country that you are visiting on your clothing. And, don't wear ugly Bermuda shorts just because they are comfortable and cooler than jeans. And please wear some attractive footwear. Unless you are Jesus, don't wear open-toed sandals--especially if you are a guy. No one wants to see your ugly feet.

Second, do not wear a camera strapped to your neck. If you must snap photos, be as inconspicuous as you can. Practice photographing nonchalantly at home first. Only when you get this step mastered, should you be allowed to travel with a camera.

Third, do not pull out a map in the middle of a sidewalk. This is a number one give away that you are lost, dumb, and ripe to be taken advantage of. Plan your route before you head out for the day. And if you must, ask for directions from a shopkeeper--and be as discreet as possible.

Fourth, don't carry your luggage around with you. In other words, leave the backpack at the hotel or in a locker. You're just begging to get mugged when you cart around all your belongings.

Fifth, don't eat in fast food franchises. Try to dine where the locals go. Be adventurous. Trust me, you will have more fun and get a better meal to boot.

Last, try not to look up. If you are staring up at the tall buildings in the sky, it will be all too obvious that you are new to the area--or worse still--a tourist.

So what is wrong with looking like a TOURIST, you ask? Well first off, you will look like an idiot. And I know that you would rather look cool. But more importantly, looking like a TOURIST can cost you more than your ego, it can cost you your life. Stay safe--play it safe--blend in baby, blend in.

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  • . . . I think I look like a tourist whether I mean to or not because I do tend to wander about looking up when not otherwise distracted. The sky is less dingy.

    It hasn't cost me my life yet. (Maybe one day).

    Poppycocteau -- Wednesday February 21 2007, @07:54AM (#249677)
    (User #9489 Info)
    We are ugly but we have the music
  • That's hilarious, as that outfit would clash so badly, in a cliamtical sense!;) Bermuda shorts and sandals with a top trumpeting Canada... brilliant! Flurries meet palm trees... nice!

    But in response to the rest of what you typed... I do see loads of tourists in Europe donning Americas sports teams attire, like baseball caps and such, and also, those jean jackets with big-ass American flages stitched on the back, so yeah... people do "represent"!
    Sullen -- Wednesday February 21 2007, @09:08AM (#249682)
    (User #11477 Info)
    • Re:Classic! (Score:2, Funny)

      cliamtical? Erm, climatical! flages? Flags! Damn... I really should proof read before posting!
      Sullen -- Wednesday February 21 2007, @09:10AM (#249683)
      (User #11477 Info)
      • Re:Classic! by realitybites (Score:1) Wednesday February 21 2007, @10:21PM
    • Re:Classic! by realitybites (Score:1) Wednesday February 21 2007, @10:50PM
  • doing that in Barcelona, Spain. And that place, with street girls and drug dealers under sheer daylight, is far worse than Canada. My favorite thing was not only looking up at the buildings of Barcelona and Nice, but photographing them (and yes, with a camera hanging around my neck). But what did I know? It was before September 11, 2001 (well, it was my first time out traveling anyway). I guess I just got very lucky! I even found help... Anyway, I at least had the good taste not to wear T-Shirts and Bermudas.

    But you're absolutely, funny, witty and correct about everything. Nothing more dangerous like acting like a tourist in Rio, for example. Besides all what you recommend, I'd suggest people to get a suitable suntan before they venture themselves at a "wonderful" Brazilian beach too.

    Unfortunately, it is hard not to give something away, even a little amazed look, a dropped chin, because tourists are a species of animals that hunt for things to admire, they want to go places to have that "knock me out of my feet" sensation. And how about walking like a tourist? In Rio, for example, swinging natives walk and move quite differently than the stiff and red-skined Americans.

    Mrs. Woolf -- Wednesday February 21 2007, @11:15AM (#249698)
    (User #14157 Info)
  • Only one disagreement; about the sandals. I know one man that, in the summer, when he puts his sandals on with his shorts that show off his long legs, with a tank top that emphasizes his sexually charged upper body, his long hair flowing down his back in a ponytail, hanging suggestively, now that I think about it, *sigh*, he gets into trouble alright, but not from looking like a tourist, or, not any kind of tourist anyway. He tans very well, and has a tan, year round with no sun! He's just, well built, physically damn him.
    redpathetic -- Wednesday February 21 2007, @04:24PM (#249759)
    (User #6184 Info)
    Happy in this final acceptance of his own absurdity...Albert Camus
  • Stinky feet stinky feet!!!! Haha
    Aww this was fun...

    Damn I know I wont be wearing a t-shirt I was given from Argentina..
    Well Maybe only for bed...
    Marisela -- Wednesday March 07 2007, @04:55PM (#250615)
    (User #1865 Info)

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