realitybites (13041)

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Journal of realitybites (13041)

Monday September 19, 05

I have the answer!

06:53 AM

A question has been wrestling through my mind all weekend: Why do I have my journal at Morrissey-solo? I mean really, isn't there a better place for it? Wouldn't a different home be more hospitable, suitable??? So this has been occupying my thoughts.

But, just this morning, I realized why I do house my journal at Solo. The answer, if I am completely honest, is that it is the only place I can think of where I can act-be this crazy and still fit in and be accepted. Surely I would have to tone it down, monitor my thoughts, and censor my writing somewhere else. Well, this is my great rationalization, for now anyhow.


After reading poor urchin's last journal entry, black wave, I was inspired to write this:

I too feel that black wave that sneaks up on me, swooshes through my body, and makes me feel very heavy, dark, and desperate. In those moments, I feel intensely sad and hopeless. I try to get busy, force the negativity out of my mind -- body. Sometimes activity helps -- for a while at least, until the black wave comes rushing in again.

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