everybody's lost (12791)

everybody's lost
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Tuesday July 20, 10

I walk through the streets and memorize the city (the organ)

09:15 AM

I've been running outside.... at night.... and I do quite enjoy it - the city's steamy and quiet...the cars are minimal.... sometimes i even turn off my ipod and just listen to the sound of my sneakers on the pavement....that and my breathing.
on one of my routes - I pass through a long stretch where factories back up against a cemetary.... the area is well lit, but still very desolate.... sometimes, people from the factories will come out and smoke cigarettes and i can hear them in my head; they're probably thinking - what is that stupid girl doing running alone back here?? or maybe it's just the thought in my own head that I'm hearing. on one hand, it IS pretty stupid.... on the other, it's very motivating.... you definitely won't catch me stopping for a break anywhere on that stretch... my neighborhood is relatively safe, I don't pass through there every day and I hardly ever go at the same time - I think if someone was going to kill me or something, they'd have to plan ahead and I don't think it would be easy for them to figure out when I'll be there.... but still... I try to avoid that route anyway just because it is probably a stupid place to run.... except that I feel like it's no more dangerous than anywhere else... and it is only a 4 block stretch and then there's houses and a busy street running alongside - I always have a back up plan of where to run to for help should something happen... heck, I could probably run INTO the factory - there's one where the back sliding doors are open and machines are running...
well anyway - before i get killed by a murderer, I'll probably die of a heart attack... in the rest of the residential areas that I run through, there are bunnies.... tens and tens of bunnies... and the occasional possum..... all jump out and literally make my heart thump, all while my heart is already beating at an advanced pace.... they'll be the death of me..... I keep thinking "RAT!!" "oh, just a bunny....." and the possums, well they basically ARE giant rats, so when I see one of them skulking around I think "RAT!!" - "AAAAAGGGHH!shit! Possum!!" and run into the street to avoid it.... yuck.... go ahead, google some images of possums - and you'll see why I'm basically more afraid of them, than of murderers...

I decided back in May to finally keep track of my mileage (even though i started running prior to May) and so since May 14th - last night I crossed 200 miles... not all of that was running though, about 50 miles of that was probably walking (since I walk to warm up, walk a stretch at my turnaround point, and also walk when I can't run no mo').... but still - sounds pretty good to me... but what do I know? I just read about some lady in England who's running marathons at 7 months pregnant so who am I to brag?
but i can see how it's addicting.... on nights when I don't run, especially if i skip 2-3 nights in a row, I feel very anxious...
last night, mr. lost came along and we walked a longer portion than I would like and the whole time, I kept getting more and more anxious in my head... every block i kept thinking - we could have run this bit... AND this bit.... come ON! but I kept quiet because, well, I don't want to be a total pain and he doesn't often go with me anyway....
I used to run some on a treadmill, but outside is so much better... on a treadmill, the song beat needs to match my feet or else it just doesn't work - outside, I find I can run to all kinds of stuff - even slow songs.... Otis Redding or Patsy Cline....Billy Idol's great for running too...

well, we'll see how long this continues....

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