everybody's lost (12791)

everybody's lost
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Thursday December 03, 09

we need a little christmas... right this very minute....

11:42 AM

why have the carols started so early this year?
anyways.... I had been having a bit of "shit hitting fan" going on in September and October.....
and then it got even worse.
Uncle Hef passed away.... I felt huge guilt for not going to see him and my brother came back from his visit reporting that our cousins (who live nearby) couldn't be bothered to spend time with him... it's just - ugh.... I mean, if he had been here I would've done all I could to help him out but he was far away and he DID have family where he was, but they are just, i don't know, busy or whatever....
anyways, the thought of him in the hospital for his final days, alone.... but in the end, we're all alone, eh?
so that was November 13th....
my siblings and I got together at my mom's and had a bit of a memorial/spend time together thingy which was good....
and at least my memories of uncle hef are from when he was healthy and tan and smiling....

so I was looking forward to Thanksgiving....
I was planning and trying recipes - I've got pumpkin muffins down pat, my now famous and requested rum cake is awesome - I've made a kahlua cake variation with awesome Kahlua frosting :) and I was all geared up to make a pumpkin roll with cream cheese frosting for thanksgiving....
the night before, I had run out for some groceries with mr. lost when on our way home, I got a phone call from an unknown number.... I don't answer phone calls from unknown numbers.
if it's important, they'll leave a message I always say.
well they left a message.
and the message was: hi - your mom's been hit by a car and she's hurt please call me back.
thinking it was a prank call, I was a bit bitchy when I called back, I was like, who is this?? how did you get this number?
and then she gave the phone to my mom, who sounded a bit out of it and quiet.... I was yelling Hello?? Mom?? mom?? and she just said my name but didn't say anything...
a cop came on the line and said my mom was hit by a car in the parking lot while leaving the grocery store and her leg was broken and he thinks she'll be ok but he can't make any guarantees. and he told me the hospital she was being taken to. he also said that they didn't catch the guy - he got away.
we were pulling up to our place at this point so I ran inside to look up directions to the hospital and we left....

on the way, I was just in a panic but still sort of stunned, wondering if she was going to be ok. I called one brother, whose wife is a nurse, to let him know in case i needed some hospital speak translated for us I thought she could help, but I didn't want to worry any other siblings yet until we found out what was going on.
I ran into the emergency room and found my mom, on her own in one of the emergency room alcoves, lying on a stretcher covered in blankets with her neck in a neck brace, her leg in a splint and her clothes all cut up lying in a plastic bag and her jacket lying on the side table... she still had one shoe on....
on her face, her glasses were cracked and she had only one lens, the other was missing....
her neck was in a lot of pain....
I was telling her everything was going to be ok and the first thing she's worried about is the fact that she's got no insurance. I was telling her not to worry about it right now, and she said: well, the guy who hit me, his insurance will cover me at least.
and the absolute worst thing ever was leaning over and telling her that they didn't catch him.... her face just crumpled and she was saying that there was a cop right there, how did they not catch him?
yeah, i don't understand either....
my brother arrived in the emergency room and he broke down in tears....
he had called another brother to let him know.... we decided not to let the younger siblings know just yet.

a few hours had passed at this point and they were taking her to get cat scanned and x-rayed (and dollar bills flashed in my mind but I pushed them away)
At that point, I left - I went to the parking lot of the accident to collect her car and to look for cameras, clues, etc.
no one saw anything, no cameras caught anything.
I saw remnants of plastic bags in the crosswalk where my mom was hit... her groceries had gone flying.
The girl who called me originally, told me later that the car was going 40 miles an hour - that she had thought to herself, 'who is that maniac??' and then she heard a slam and a yell and when she looked next, my mom was lying in the bushes with her leg bent in a wrong direction while the car just kept going....
as I got in my mom's car to drive it back to her house I just started screaming.... the whole drive home was just tears and screams at the unfairness of it all - how could this happen? right before thanksgiving too.... to my mom of all people... AND they didnt't catch the asshole.... AND she doesn't have insurance... no one caught a license plate.... stupid lazy useless cop saw nothing useful and he was ON the scene for chrissakes... why not hit me instead? I've got fantastic insurance, and i'm young and strong - i'd much rather it be me....
I got home and packed a bag - spare glasses, underclothes, sweats, toothpaste, magazines, cell phone and charger... as I was leaving, the phone began ringing...
I stopped, thinking I shouldn't get it - but what if it's the hospital? what if it's important?
I picked it up and it was my other sister - the one who's super, super emotional.... she had been calling all day wondering where mom was and now wanted to know what I was doing there??
I can't lie... I am the worst liar ever ESPECIALLY when put on the spot...
so I started by saying, I didn't want to tell you this (which later, everyone told me was THE worst way to break the news to her - she thought the worst possible thing happened) but that mom was in the hospital (screams on the other end, crying, what happened?)
as we were leaving, my other sister was pulling up so we told her too and took her with us to the hospital. I decided to call my last brother at this point, since everyone knew now, and found that he had already heard from my panicking sister in the time it took me to get outside.
my panicking sister and my mom have a good relationship though - because when she got to the hospital and threw herself onto my mom's bed, crying and screaming, my mom had to do an about face - up to that point, my mom had been worrying and a bit panicked with all of us reassuring her, she now pulled my sister off of her a bit and was all, "why are you panicking?? everything's ok, it's a broken leg... it's all going to be all right...."
so that was good....
once we knew her back and neck were ok - we all calmed down. we were making her laugh in the emergency room, so much so that she said we better quiet down before they think we're having too much fun in there...
and out of an awful situation, at least her fractures were in her lower leg.... she could have been killed or paralyzed or had complicated breaks, etc. etc. but luckily at least her breaks weren't her hip or knee or ankle....
we found out she was to have surgery the next morning and she'd be in the hospital for the next few days.
so on thanksgiving, we gathered in her room in the morning.... she had never been put under before and was extremely nervous.
we walked with her as they wheeled her down to surgery (we must've looked ridiculous, 5 out of 6 of us were there, all sort of crying, etc. as they wheeled her in for a short surgery, but with any surgery, you never know....) the nurse was extremely kind to us, asking about what happened, if we were all her kids, telling us what to expect, etc.
we went down to the waiting room and we ate bagels and drank coffee and waited....

she came through it ok.... she was released on saturday night with a prescription for painkillers and blood thinning shots.
the nurse told us that the shots were gonna be super expensive, he said at least $100 a shot and she'd need them for 4 weeks, 1 shot a day... they called the dr to see if they could substitute something cheaper but he was out of town so the nurse said that we *could* take a risk and take aspirin for a few days until we could contact the doctor... I went to the pharmacy to see how much the shots would be and what minimum number I could buy. luckily, it was only $185 for 5 shots. and I called the dr on monday to get her a substitute... with the other medication, 21 pills cost me $14.95...

I went to the store where the accident happened to put up flyers asking for info and I walked around the crosswalk area and I found her other lens (she's got horrible eyesight and her spare glasses were the wrong prescription). I went to 2 different eye places and was able to find her a replacement pair of glasses that her lenses would fit into.
we did thanksgiving on Sunday... and since Sunday, we've been taking turns and shifts and helping her since she can't put any weight on her leg and can't wet the cast...

the next day, i read an article about a 43 year old lady hit by a hit and run driver, and killed...
it really does make one think about how quickly, your whole life can change... one day you're leaving the store with groceries and you could easily be killed.... and that's that. your stuff goes flying, you go flying and that's the end of your life.....
thank god (or whoever) that she's going to be ok...

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  • Oh my God! I'm SO sorry to hear this happened to your mom! At least she has family to take care of her and lots and lots of love, too.

    I remember when my mom broke her wrist back in 2000. It was a spiral break, so they pretty much had to reconstruct her lower arm. This happened in our house, but she has weak legs from a back injury and she just fell. I was asleep because I worked a very late shift. But I remember hearing her hit the floor. I called out to her and she didn't say anything, so I went in to see if she was okay. I found her on the floor, unconscious! I moved her a bit and she started to cry. She brought her arm up and said, "I think I broke it" and I nearly fainted when I looked at it. It was all out of shape. But, I went into pure panic mode. I drove her to the hospital as fast as I could. I remember when I had to sign the papers, the lady behind the desk said, "By signing that, you'll be held responsible". I couldn't believe my ears!! I just said to her, "I don't care how much it is, just FIX IT!". I couldn't stand seeing my mother in so much pain!! At the time, my mom didn't have insurance, either, but that was so far from my mind. But because she didn't have insurance, they didn't give her the proper medications and hospital stay she needed. She was in so much pain after they sent her home. I remember calling the Doctor after and giving him an earful. He said, "We should have kept her longer with heavy medication". I was blinded by anger. Later on, that same doctor had to perform Carpal Tunnel surgery on her because of that break. I remember just giving him this look, and he said, "Don't worry - she'll be well taken care of - I promise".

    It's unbelievable how heartless people can be when it comes to those who do not have insurance. Thankfully now she does, but...wow. They knew she'd be in massive pain when they sent her home...

    Anyway, I'm sorry this was so long. I just know what you're going through. I hope they find the dirtbag who did this to your Mom, and I'm thankful for your mother, you, and your family that it wasn't any worse than it turned out to be.

    Take Care!
    hand in glove -- Thursday December 03 2009, @08:54PM (#346001)
    (User #827 Info)
    "Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together" - Marilyn Monroe


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