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I am 32 years old now, and as truculent as ever
(email not shown publicly)
I am 32 years old now, and as truculent as ever
Thursday October 21, 10
One of the nice little side effects that come from being well paid is the ability to keep things fresh via the consumerist arts. And since there are few things I can stand less than having the same look for an extended period of time, or even worse, repeating the same look in consecutive years, I must confess I do find myself constantly wanting to mix it up.
To whit, my Winter 09/10 coat, a shiny little puffy number from Uniqlo which I've had to drag out again today in this unseasonably cold late Autumn, and the grey striped beanie I've had for two years.. are making me a bit fed up. I know it's pathetic and tragic that I'm so obsessed with avoiding apparel repetition but there it is. Consequently I've already bought a new sort of light grey/beige (can't decide what to call the colour- it's a bit like Ready Brek after you've added brown sugar to it) chunky knit beanie for a change, and I'm thinking of investing in an old black leather jacket via the power of ebay in due course.
Unfortunately, one thing I can't escape from is the fact that it's not *very* shabby even though over-worn thanks to the seemingly endless nature of last winter, and it is very bloody toasty. I'd be a fool not to continue to employ its use for a least one more winter on ridiculously cold days like today. Still, a leather jacket will be a nice addition to my increasingly large (mostly relatively inexpensive- Ashford Designer Outlet is my shopping Mecca) collection of outdoors-wear, of varying age and quality.
I guess I just have to learn to stop being so silly about clothes. The trouble is that unlike a lot of people I don't dress to be seen, I dress to a purely selfish aesthetic i.e. to please myself. And one thing this idiotic Gemini cannot stand is to see the same reflection twice.
Sorry for the hilariously shallow entry about fucking clothes.
Saturday October 16, 10
Saturdays are frequently the same
So there is one thing in my life to bitch about: my Saturdays. Because I work long days (up at 5:53 and home at 7:05 most of the time) I invariably find that most of my Saturdays follow the same pattern of getting up, getting ready and then doing housework for an hour or two. It's my washing day, and sometimes my 'blitzing' day (when I have to do a major clean), and this is a bit on the tedious side.
Anyway, it would be nice if I could get out and do *something* on a Saturday from time to time. I really should sort that out. Unfortunately as the years have wound on, my circle of friends has dwindled a bit as people move on or pair off etc. and there aren't so many to rely on as there were. I am learning to rely on myself but it's not easy. I'm sure anyone my sort of age can relate to this.
In other news, I'm finding that Belle & Sebastian's new album, Write About Love is a distinctly-*** affair. Albums never suited them as much as singles, just like The Smiths before them, and the MP3 era seems to have left them a bit lost. There are about 3 or 4 stand-out tracks and the rest is just like *Pffft* almost phoned-in. Worse still, I can distinctly make out which album of the last 10 years each track fits into, which is never a good sign. Christ, even Morrissey attempted some new things on YOR, but B&S seem to think one odd, unconvincing duet with Norah sodding Jones is enough to cover that area.
Fraid not, guys!
I should have known when I heard the distinctly cut 'n' paste lead single the album was going to be a disappointment.
It seems the older 'modern' indie gets the more boring the output is. Thank good for the US, British indie is on its last legs. Maybe they should take the cue from Stereolab and hang up their instruments.
Enough bitching! After I've done my chores I'm going to fire up the PS3 and do some gaming, I think.
Friday October 15, 10
I've just been reading the old entries
How funny to read of my life back then, when I was a drone on the wrong side of the corporate fence. Or just unemployed.
The new home I moved to didn't last either. Blogging has since died and been replaced by Facebook, right?
Reading the musings of my 28 year old self has been enlightening. I really was trapped back in limbo then. Now at 32 I'm just like you: with my professional demeanour; my little flat; my MP3 player; drinks after work; new-found penchant for gin and tonic; my sex-life; my IKEA furniture and my daily grind. I can safely say I'm mostly happier but still as vitriolic as I ever was.
I don't even know if any of you still remember me. A bit like Morrissey. I was pleased to be wrong about his last album, although it's still not as good as "YATQ". This has to be it now, surely?? Please?
I don't know why I've plopped this here. What else is there to say? Quick recap?
Oh, go on then!
In 2007 I temped some more and then out of the blue that Spring an agency phoned me when I was just about to start *yet another* crappy temp job and offered me a way back into tech support.
I've never looked back.
So I began contracting for a fussy old woman of a bloke in Sheerness Docks and that lasted 3 months. Life was suddenly giving something back to me again. I'd come home. To tech.
This is where... I belong!
I did some more 1st line tech contracting on and off that year and then..
In 2008 I landed my current job. I started off contracting there at first, for peanuts (£10/hr) but I really liked the place so I persisted with it. My 6 week contract came to an end and I was mortified. But then, out of the blue six weeks after that, I was back there again on a better wage. Later that Summer I went to Chicago and had a fabulous holiday on my earnings and the cheap (at the time) dollar. And when I came back I was a permanent member of staff. Then I moved out of Mum & Dad's into the flat I have now. At last- adulthood!
In 2009 I was moved up the chain in terms of the work I was doing and then at the end of the year got a promotion and a raise (I'm now a Desktop Support Engineer- mostly second line stuff). I even had a 3-month relationship, which ended amicably. At the end of the year I got a very generous bonus.
This year the recession hit my company and times were hard. But we've come through it, and I've just been given another raise. Life is pretty comfortable. The commute is irritating but you get used to it, and I'm more used to central London than ever before. I still think most of the people walking round it are wankers, though. Ha, possibly even including myself.
So that's it. I made it to the promised land. All that remains now is to get a better flat and settle down with some bloke. Or try to. Even after all this time I'm still not sure if that's the life for me.
I don't know if there will be more entries. This one has been pretty boring, but maybe it will give some hope to people who read it who are in jobs they hate or don't have jobs- things can always improve.
4 years ago I was lost. There was no hope. I was trapped in an endless loop of crappy temporary admin jobs. And I was still stuck at home with the folks. My sex-life was consequently somewhat farcical/non-existent. But that changed :)
I haven't 'sold out' (much) lol but I have found a way to make a wage that doesn't make me want to go out and kill large swathes of the general public. So, remember...
Saturday January 06, 07
It's ovah, folks
The Queen Is Dead Boys...
I'm sorry, guys, but this is it for me and 'blogging' here. There's just no future in it. It's gone down the pan and bobmozza 2.0 just couldn't cut it. So I've gone to a 'better place'.
Thanks for all the comments over the years, on this and bobmozza 1.0, which I hope entertained you.
If you want to continue following me, please send me a message via the forums and I'll send you the URL of my new blogging home.
I shall of course continue to read and comment on yours, but me and this journal are divorcing.
This is the last song I will ever sing.
Tuesday January 02, 07
One day, two movies
"Downfall" in the afternoon.
"Memento" in the evening.
Odd mix, eh?
I have a cold for the first time since February or March last year. Since I erased my past I can't remember specifically- which is fitting, given the content of the last film I saw.
Which reminds me of something. Since my entries have been stale of late, I'll throw you a little tit bit for once.
I have quite an odd memory- or at least I think it is since most other people don't tend to share this 'quirk' of mine. You see, not only do I have all the usual memories of stuff from my childhood, major events- whole days of note if I really concentrate and it was fairly recent- but I am always able to reasonably precisely pinpoint them down to a year, month, and sometimes even date as well. And not only do I remember the obvious stuff mentioned above, I remember completely useless shit as well. And it isn't all photo-based, though it works in a visual way usually. For example, without using Google (and trust me on this), I can tell you that the Great Storm of 1987, the Hurricane of a lifetime such as it was took place on October 16th, 1987.
Impressive, or pointless? People the exact same age as me, or older even- people who were probably even injured or had something really major happen to them probably don't even remember the exact day. People will confuse the year, or just say "Autumn 87" but not me. Oh no- I remember exactly.
I can remember being woken up around 4:30 in the morning, since my Dad was trying to get into work for some unknown reason (given it was still raging obviously). I can remember my Mum was listening to the radio, Invicta FM, the local station, and two songs that were played at the time "Baby Give It Up" and "Tell Me Lies" by Fleetwood Mac. You see, completely pointless- but it's still there and we're talking about just over 19 years ago.
Another example. Every New Year, we'll talk about New Year's Eves of the past and someone will inevitably talk about the infamous year we were all due to go out and got stuck in. "When was that?" someone will ask. And I'll go "It was NYE 1995- we were all meant to go out but the snow stopped us. I remember that we leant Pictionary to our neighbours and never saw it again."
Ask me what I was doing yesterday though, and I'll struggle.
Is that typical? Perhaps it's more common than I'd like to believe- and it's really hard to relate just how different it is because I have it, and Mark has it too. And we are always being picked up on it, until they check the facts and discover we're right. I have it 'better' than Mark, since I am also a whizz at years.
I'm chronologically obsessed. I'll watch an episode of a TV show and I'll sit and guess, and nine times out of ten I'm right. A year or so ago, when I was befriending Jonno (late of this Parish, though not actually dead... long story), he tested me on my 'outrageous' claim that he could pick any movie and I would be able to tell him what year it was. He went through 20 movies and I scored 100%. Why? Because people will say something like he did, like "Aliens, yeah that was 1988" and I'll go... "uh-uh, 1986, dude." and he'll be like "No it was definitely 1988." and eventually he checks, and of course, I'm right.
Allow me to qualify this- I'm not even that great a fan of Aliens- meh, it's alright... so it's not because I love the movie. It's the same reason I can tell you "Titanic" was 1997 and "Steel Magnolias" 1989 even though I loathe both of those films.
It also applies to music. I am chronologically obsessed.
I'm not sure if it's a VERY mild form of OCD (probably is) but my memory is impeccable for the most useless, random shit in the world.
And I promise you, on all that is Holy- I did not use the Internets for any of this- it's just freaky ol' me. As soon as I discover the year something was made, it's there FOREVER. And you can bet your arse I always look for that info.
I hope you were entertained (by this) for once.
Monday January 01, 07
Happy New Year!
Well it was a blast last night. Got pretty darn drunk and we stayed at the club until 4am LOL! Bad, bad boy. Didn't get home til 5am. Horrible, but hey it's only once a year I guess.
My New Year's Resolutions are:
1) Get and settle in a job by the Spring.
2) Hopefully be moving towards having my own place by the end of the year.
3) A new boyfriend by the Summer.
And that's it. I can't think of anything else since my diet is pretty good and January isn't a good time to say "less sweets and snacks" since the house is still full of them. I'm not giving up smoking because I don't want to so it would be a waste of time. And also, I always drink less alcohol in January anyway so that's a given.
Care to share yours?
Sunday December 31, 06
It's the end of the year...
Well, I shan't forget 2006 in a hurry, that's for sure! It makes 2005 look like a walk in the park. There was action, there was drama, there was romance, and perhaps a little too much black comedy.
I went from working at HtA to apparent oblivion, then to The City and now back to where I was before I started the dreaded 'London Adventure', approximately two years ago. However, fingers crossed, I shall do well in the second interview and get the job... yes, fingers crossed!
I got a lot more action, until I moved back here. Even had a relationship at last. I wouldn't mind another one... guess it was a learning experience at least- even if it didn't end too brilliantly.
I got London out of my system following one disaster after another, BUT I have come to an understanding with the place- and I know it a lot better than I did 365 days ago. And so, I can happily work there in whatever job I land for myself in 2007. I just know now that I shouldn't attempt to live there again until I am earning about 100K lol.
And I've also matured generally, in that I now know that it's time to stop being a big fool and just do a job, since I am sliding to 30 and I can't be Mr. Grasshopper forever. Time to settle into something, pay off those credit cards a bit, and then I can start buying all those things I want like an SLR digital camera, Nintendo DS etc. etc... before finally moving into my own place.
The other thing I've learned is that Sheppey runs in my veins a lot more than I realised, and that I need my home to be somewhere quiet to be happy.
Oh yeah, and let's not forget- I learned the value of anonymity on the internet LOL!!!
But enough of me, for a moment...
2006 was the year cinema started to improve again. There was "Brokeback", "V For Vendetta", "Little Miss Sunshine", "Casino Royale" and many others I didn't get to see but wanted to.
The album of the year, I have decided, was "Jarvis". Mr. Cocker has made a startling return to form and presents a worldview (i.e. very sneery and cynical) that very much appeals to me. Go out and get it now if you haven't yet.
Morrissey seems to have finally called time on his career in 2006. He still has it live, but ROTT was without doubt the Disappointment Of The Year.
2006 was the year TV started to die, for real. When the only things worth watching are repeats, you know it's over. Youtube is far more entertaining.
2006 was also the year the single died. I cannot point to even one single that I thought was any good, and that includes Morrissey, I'm afraid to say. With downloads and ringtones and R&B/Shithop (not real Hip Hop of course) it's pretty much a dead format.
Back to me....
Well, that's about it. It was a messy year, but I've come out of the other side of it a lot wiser and stronger I think. I spent half of it wading around in my own shit (metaphorically) and then the other half cleaning myself up. I finally gave up on the homothug chic and am now embracing the natural retro look for real.
Tonight I'm going to the club for the NYE party which should be a good laugh.
Tomorrow you'll get my New Year's Resolutions. It's never anything too drastic- but it is handy to have a list of targets. Can't remember what last year's were and since they've been deleted I can't see but hey ho.
Have a Happy New Year!!!
Thursday December 28, 06
Bit between Christmas and New Year
So yeah, anyway, Xmas Day was cool. I got all the things I asked for, including some cool monster/wolfie feet slippers and everyone was pleased with their gifts. Mark's dinner was very nice and he didn't get all drunk and start being a painful bitch. He did however, get drunk and go to bed early LOL.
Boxing Day I really didn't do that much, just got up late, felt weirrrd and watched some TV.
Yesterday I finally played my game a bit, and got into it: "Canis Canem Edit (Bully)"- it's fun, but I got stuck on a hard mission today and now I've just turned it off. Makes a change to play PS2 though.
Mum and Dad came back today. They were pleased with their gifts as well. Magic.
Italic Text Goes Here
Sunday December 24, 06
So anyway I've been a busy little bee this weekend! Friday I cleaned my room top to bottom in a megablitz and in the evening I went for a drink with Marcus in the local gay bar (i.e. 20 miles away). That was alright until the po-lice showed up (8 of them!!) to 'raid' the place with a fucking sniffer dog. They caught one chav stupid enough to snurrrrfff in the toilets- nice waste of public money that was... whilst no doubt people were being hassled/stabbed/burgled all over the rest of town. But hey it's results that count eh? Why put in the effort to get REAL criminals when you can shoot fish in a barrel, eh?
Yet another example of the way this country is slowly morphing into a fascist hellhole.
Yesterday was cool though- did loads of baking (mini cheese rolls, mini veg sausage rolls, mini veg sausages etc.) and then in the evening went round Scotty's.
Today I made a cashew nut roast and this evening a few of my friends are coming round to be festive or whatever. Should be fun!
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS, BITCHES!!! XXX
Monday December 18, 06
Time for another update
Actually went round Mark's on Saturday night, and actually got a little wasted for the first time in a good 6 weeks or something. Which was good. Mark wasn't *too* bad but pulled his usual shit, which I called him on. Kind of embarrassing for your 31 year old brother to be 'scrounging' (more like stealing) a glass of wine and a bit of baccy off you, especially when considering he takes home about 30K.. and I am on the dole.
It's probably some sort of 'power' thing he's maintaining. Sad.
Well, that aside, it was a good evening.
Sunday, I didn't really do a great deal. Tomorrow I have an interview for a job I actually think I might want, which makes a nice change.