It's been four months now since I quit my job to be a full-time Mummy again and it's been fabulous! I've loved being HERE for the children at weekends and during the holidays....no more rushing to squeeze working for a living into my already hetic day's spent nurturing the Matters children, feeding and watering the Sarge and keeping the nerve centre of Chez Alma together...my house has never been cleaner or more organized! We have been eating better too...more healthily...due to the time I have to prepare PROPER meals. The children haven't consumed a single chicken nugget or fish finger in months! Quite simply my return to full-time motherhood has been quite the best decision I have ever made. BUT...(well there's always a BUT isn't there?)

I thought I might miss adult company and the camaraderie of office life...I don't! I thought I might miss the challenge of work...I don't! What I do miss is the BLOODY money! This is the first time in my life that I haven't actually had any money to call my own and I like a decent moisturiser, good quality hair products and a nice mascara as much as the next girl (not to mention a decent bottle of wine from time to time!) In short I NEED SOME BLOODY POCKET MONEY!

I spoke to the Sarge about this and he was, as ever, supportive (although he never has really understood the value of a decent mascara or lip gloss...and even less so now he is paying for it!) The thing about the Sarge is that he is a wise man and gave me this advice...

"You need to find a job that really suits you...you don't want to end up in the same situation as last time...you should make a list of the things you really want and stick to it...don't make any compromises!"

So I did...

1. I don't want to work at the weekend
2. I don't want to work during the school
      holidays
3. Not too many hours (my family will always come
      first...for now at least)
4. I want to earn decent money (well if you pay
      peanuts you get monkey's!)
5. I want to work close to home (I was travelling
      nearly 20 miles a day to my last job...I hate
      driving, petrol costs and parking fees!)
6. I want to do something more worthwhile (being
      a paper-pushing office drone just wasn't for
      me...shame it took me 20 BLOODY years to work
      it out!)
7. A bit of fresh-air wouldn't go a miss!

So that's what I wanted and decided to take the Sarges advice and stick to my guns...no compromises!

My next problem was my complete and total lack of any skills outside of paper-pushing WHATSOEVER! I was lamenting my unsuitability for any worthwile job one evening over dinner when Rachel said something...

"Well....you've got really good Mummy-Skills!"

EUREKA!

I have always quite liked the idea of working with children. I ran the idea past friends and family who were united in their support saying "Oh Alma...you could do a job like that standing on your head!" (quite why I would want to do it standing on my head I don't know!) The thing is I didn't see it quite like that...I have always thought that caring for other people's children is a very difficult and challenging job and that only certain "special" people can really do it...and I don't know if I'm really "special" enough (despite what Rachel may think) What I do know is that like most things in life there is only one way to find out if you can do something...and that's to roll your sleeves up and give it a go!

So I visited the website of our local education authority and checked out the job section. There were two jobs on there that caught my eye...

The first was for a Teaching Assistant at a local Primary school and would involve being a mentor for a little boy with "special educational and emotional needs" I quickly dismissed this role as it seemed a huge leap from the kitchen-sink to the classroom. I'm all for diving in at the deep end but I didn't want to risk selling the little boy in question short. He sounded like he needed somebody with more experience than me (well any experience at all would be good!) I also didn't want to risk taking the job, realizing I wasn't up to it and letting him down...being there one minute and gone the next would surely be very unsettling for the poor lad and I just didn't want to risk it. I don't think I could sleep at night if I did that!

No...the second job was more me...

1. No weekends...check
2. School holidays off...check
3. Not too many hours...check
4. Decent money...check
5. On my doorstep...check
6. Paper-pushing not required...check
7. Out in the fresh air!...check

PERFECT...not a single compromise to be had...so I applied for it on-line just making the closing date for applications of twelve noon one Friday afternoon by the skin of my teeth! At 4pm the school phoned me to invite me for an interview the following Monday at 12.00pm...eeek!

I had the interview at 12.00pm on the Monday with the Deputy-Headmaster (Mr Double-Barrelled- Surname) who said he would be "in-touch by telephone to let you know whether you have been sucessful but I do have other people to see"...blah...blah...blah

I got home from the interview and the Sarge asked how it went...

"Good...I think...but there were BLOODY kid's everywhere!"

"Well what did you expect Alma...it is a school afterall!"

At 2pm that same afternoon Mr Double-Barrelled-Surname telephoned me and offered me the job, which I hastily accepted, and you are now looking at...drum-roll please...the new PLAYGROUND CONTROLLER of a local Primary school!

I will be working each weekday from 11.45am to 1.15pm, have all the school holidays off with my own children and be doing something worthwhile and for the common good of the local community (and will have a couple of hundred pounds a month for mascara too....FABULOUS!)

My duties will be to ensure the safety of the children during lunchtime...deal with any playground skirmishes that may arise...initiate playground games....and,the way I see it, make sure the children are happy and having fun! I guess there may be some soggy knickers and vomit involved but what the hell...I'm a Mummy...that's my job!

I haven't totally given up on the idea of one day ending up in the classroom...infact Mr Double-Barrelled-Surname was most encouring in this regard...but it seems like the perfect place to start...to dip my toe in the water...to see if I am "special" enough afterall! The way I see it I really can't lose...

* If I hate it and decide a career in childcare
    just isn't for me I'll do a hasty "Frankly Mr.
    Shankly" and leave...no harm done...lesson
    learned

* If I like it but decide that I don't want to
    progress into the classroom it will be a nice
    little stop-gap until Rachel and Dan are a bit
    older and more self-sufficient (and it will keep
    me in spritzers!)

* If I love it then it will be great experience
    for the future and who knows where it might
    lead? I may even get down to some proper study
    and end up teaching for real!

There is infact only one downside to my new job! When I applied I had my fingers crossed that I would be issued with a whistle!...and a tabard!...always quite fancied myself in a tabard...

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u258/almareallymatters/dinnerladies1.jpg

But alas it was not to be!...Mr Double-Barrelled Surname must surely have sensed my disappointment when I enquired about the tabard...I REALLY wanted one (but sadly only the dinnerladies get to wear one...shame!)

Didn't get a whistle either...gutted! You see there isn't just one playground at the school. There are several different themed play areas kind of wrapped around the school building (a football/basketball area...a nature area...a quiet area for reading...an activity area...a climbing area) and it seems a humble whistle just doesn't cut the mustard!

Still...who needs a silly old whistle anyway?...not when your getting a WALKIE-TALKIE! How cool is that? Dan is VERY excited and has been helping me practice by making a "ccccrrrr" sound when he speaks to me and ending every sentence with the word "OVER"...he thinks it's BLOODY hilarious!...and it was...the first FIVE HUNDRED times...

"Mum...cccrrr...can I have a drink please?...OVER!"

"Mum....cccrrr...what time is it?...OVER!"

"Mum...cccrrr...I've done a poo!...cccrrr...can you wipe my bum?...cccrrr...OVER!"

There is one final brilliant thing about my new job...even better than the walkie-talkie (if that's even possible in the wonderful world of Dan) You see I don't start till after Christmas...so a few more weeks to indulge in full-time Motherhood...but guilt-free (not that I ever really felt guilty anyway!) as now(technically) I am back amongst the ranks of the gainfully employed...still would have liked a tabard though....

"I was looking for a job and then I found a job....cccrrr....OVER!"

Love Alma xxx