If I ever get around to building a robot, I'll be sure to create one that can get drunk. But instead of having to drink to get drunk - or smoke, to get stoned - I'll make it so that I'd just have to press a button and, voilà, the darned contraption would be drunk/stoned.

My robot (or Brobot) would be the kewlest thing ever. He wouldn't be a mean drunk or a sadsack. He'd be the best kind of drunkard - happy, loyal and quick to give.

(the Brobot, who I would name Mordichai, would also be a cash machine, so his generosity would matter)