. . . or some other equally alienistic title.

I have just been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which brings with it mixed feelings, but all faint ones - a little sadness, for all the years (especially in childhood) that could have been easier had anyone known or figured it out; a little hope, that things may be easier now; a little relief, because it explains a lot that I didn't know or understand about myself*; and finally, a feeling I cannot describe, one that comes with knowing for certain now that lots (lots**) of things people do and think will never make sense to me, that it's not just a matter of growing up. I'm not sure what to think of that. But it's ok.

I have not been here for a long time . . . I alienated myself from the internet. I forget why. Now I have no computer anyway. But I hope everyone is well, and send my love. All, take care and look after those you love. Tell them why they matter while you can. Because you can. Isn't that remarkable? We're all here.

xXx

*For instance, the fact that I look at people's mouths rather than their eyes when they talk to me, that I can only wear cotton as most other material on my skin feels terrible, the fact that I will jump without question at any loud noise, am scared of the hoover, refuse outright to eat anything of a colour I consider a bit dodgy, and can 'never see anyone else's point of view'.

**To name but a few . . . vanity, smoking, self harm, buying a wig, wearing make-up, etc. Willingly being in the company of more than one person at a time. Getting drunk. Why the sound of most women singing is at all enjoyable. These things make no sense to me. They never have.

P.s. I met Nick Cave, and he signed my arm, and I got it tattooed. I smile when I look at it :)xXx