MozGirl18 (2483)

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"I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world."-O.Wilde***"What she said was sad, but then all the rejection she's had- to pretend to be happy could only be idiocy..."***And the constant question- am I really that unloveable?***"Jesus made me, so Jesus save me from pitty, sympathy, and people discussing me..."***If you ever come across a blonde haired girl with large blue eyes looking at nothing and seeing everything- then you've found me. The martini will be mine and I will most probably be......alone

Journal of MozGirl18 (2483)

Monday January 08, 07

so it goes

01:08 PM

I sit here, wasting time and not doing a damn thing that I should be.

I have spent the entire morning looking for a job, and hating Big Brother, and trying to figure which articles I've written are too much of a piece of crap to submit for my book.

all in all- I've gotten a lot done, but feel like the most unsucessful person alive.

ah yes, that familiar depression and anxiety.

I had terrible dreams last night and awoke with a feeling of dread. Off to pound the pavement. Off to starve for my art. Here I am again- the world changes and I with it.

If only they still petitioned the arts. I suppose they do. Just not mine. Of course not.

Happy 2007. I'm still as lost as I ever was.

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  • I like this that you wrote a few entries down:

    " I'm not pleasing anyone.

    Maybe not even myself.

    Which, is ia sign that I should throw everything out and start over.

    Again. "
    redpathetic -- Monday January 08 2007, @01:14PM (#245524)
    (User #6184 Info)
    Happy in this final acceptance of his own absurdity...Albert Camus
  • Well, that makes the 2 of us, then! ;)

    Don't get too discouraged, MozGirl18, it is a brand new year with a fresh slate. Cast aside the old seemingly ever present anxiety by telling it, "that was then, but this is NOW" even though you may be feeling awful now. At least it's what I am presently doing to ward off the feelings of "depression and anxiety" ~ lol, before for you think, "Hmm, easy for you to say, J. Razor!" Really, it is not easy; but I just know the feelings come and go, and things do get better just as they seem to have gotten worse. Which is why "change" is necessary as there is always a chance for bad times to turn into good ones. Good times for a change, indeed!

    I wish you all the best of luck in your artistic pursuits in 2007, and always! Take care. :)
    J. Razor -- Monday January 08 2007, @03:06PM (#245539)
    (User #724 Info)
    I'm Alone

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