Marisela (1865)

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You're Frankly Vulgar a redpullover**

Journal of Marisela (1865)

Tuesday September 30, 08

what is true can cause a war.

07:08 AM

Yes. we have kept in touch.
I would have done almost anything to make things right.
Yet, it was best to do what had to be done.
we can be proud.

We have put ourselves in many situations just to make things that mattered then, fall easily into place.
It was bound to happen.
Some things just take time.
We may be regretful about making that certain move.
Yet, we had to and then try move on.
To make the best of it.
I feel I have, and it makes me, oh, so unsure.
Yet, the feeling I had then, well I realized a long time ago. That It has been unblemished, untouched and protected,by us.
It is deep in my heart of hearts, yes.
I ask myself why?
I always seem to believe
that I need time anyhow, Why?
When you talk about us. Getting serious.
I get so frantic.
All the bottles up feelings that have come in since seem to surf up. I remember the need of holding that unique feeling.
I have cried and I smiled about it.
I have Loved!
Yet,I let little things out that have been layered and stored on top of this confused heart.
Resentment, yes.
Seem to surface, first! Ugg
So, I shall dig and move and just try and let it all be chewed up and spit like bad seed.
It is happiness that I am sure we deserve.
What matters most,I feel that.
Yes so alive and comforting, yes Intact.
What I have stored deep in my heart should be the only thing to surface.
It all can mend. Why,did I have to store it so deep?
What there is, is very special obviously.
It's a feeling of somethings very shiny small special and unique.
Like that pearl so talked about.
This is why,
I have always been a sucker for the little things.
Because most of the time they are,what really matters.
Yes I'd love to.
I know that it has been my strength
and what comforts me dayzz and nights.
Yes, it is deep ,stored, and yet alive.
I'm now afraid to lose it.
I just need your part in it to feel it is all ok.
I do live in a fairytale world and I am happy to have such an imagination.
But, it's time to make it real.
We both are most afraid of the "what if".
It is not really what if in a good sense?
No, Not I.
Yet,we know that I am in you and you are in me.
It is something small yet very special and unique that we have held it deep with in.
I know that just a spark can make a ray of light!.
One that can gives splendor and delight to many eyes and hearts.
But it has to be the exact mixture,
yes, we both have it.
As we experienced.
Can we, will we?
Are we to caught up in not giving it a shot?
C mere..because I still cannot move on. No matter what life has brought along the way.
What is unique has to prevail.

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