Well, the Internet connection is BACK, albeit in a totally absurd manner. I had to spend £5.99 getting a 15 metre extension cable (totally out of order, considering I'm now left with about 7 metres of unravelled cable), and so I now fear for my grandmother's life should she attempt to enter her room, as there is a lot of white cabling around it.

Well, happy birthday to Mr Morrissey tomorrow. 43. And touring? Jees, a lot has happened since I've been here. But alas no, there is no Scottish tour date. Or British tour date. Or, for that matter, a European tour date. Will there be? We live in hope.

I'd like to thank everybody for expressing their deepest concerns. To Biffo, and to...em...Well, you know who you are. I'm in a very cynical mood today. With a sinister tongue, paraphrasing waspish words. Hiss. My first exam is TOMORROW, Italian. I have not studied one bit for it. I kid you not. Instead, I have been working, and more recently, studying for my forthcoming Maths exam, which is on Monday (27th). Oh, and I finished reading "The Severed Alliance". Bloody NME.

Anybody got any interesting letters recently?

I was getting rather excited last Sunday. Jacques was driving like a man possessed, overtaking cars left, right and centre (including that tosser Coulthard), and running 3rd at one point. Ahead of both Williams. Wahey! Alas, it was not to last, and a cooked Honda on the last lap ended a great drive. But what do you make of the cheating Kraut and co? I was considering putting a bet on Barrichello the previous weekend, but now I'm bloody glad I didn't. If I had my way, I'd ban Ferrari for good. No reason in particular, other than HE (and you know who he is) drives for them. Alas, there's no such luck.

I am still awaiting the purchase of the goldfish. Or the tortoise, for that matter. Hopefully, it will happen. Finally, somebody to relate to. Until then, we are stumped. I'm sick of life. Sick of "friends", who agree to go places with you, then go out the night previous to the arranged day without asking you, then call off going to wherever you're going.

We're having a "Megaday" in our work on Thursday. Yup. 20% off EVERYTHING in store. Mega, no? Well, I'll be doing my shopping there, as I get 25% off for being staff anyway. I may purchase...some clothes. And a computer game. Biffo has a GameCube? Dear Lord. I am stuck with my PS2 for now.

School has been left, and last week, on my final day, my hair was transformed into a green and yellow collage. Yup. Along with a lot of words written on my shirt. Some unsavoury ones amongst those as well! Will I miss it? In a word, no. How could I? The only disappointing thing about it is that I have a four month holiday, in which I have next to no friends to share with. And no girlfriend. Yup.

Take care everyone. I hope you're all doing well, even if I'm not. Toodleoo.