I took a brutal approach to killing off the festive season by removing all traces of Christmas by early afternoon on the 2nd. I really cannot be arsed with decorations after the first, as, if anything, they're a painful reminder of good times now gone, while one is left staring into the abyss of January, February and March, the three most godforsaken months in what is already a pretty godforsaken timeline.

In referring to "good times now gone", I'm surely being somewhat charitable to the last week and a half, which have been decidedly humdrum. I did try playing my Frank and Bing records to get me in the mood, I even tried a reggae Christmas compilation, but to no avail - I simply could not meaningfully engage in the festive spirit this time around. I could muster even less enthusiasm for the New Year.

At least 2007 is gone, consigned, appropriately enough, to the dustbin of history. Because in the bin is surely where it belongs. A year of zero personal development, of zero joy with the opposite sex, of approximately two laughs per month, of sporting failures and frustrations. On the other hand, I did go to some splendid concerts, exhibitions and comedy.

But enough of that old shit! This journal entry (my first in six and half months, stats fans) is primarily about 2008. I'm not usually much of a resolution maker. Of course most people make up rubbish like getting fit, stopping smoking or drinking, eating healthily, yadda yadda yadda. Fuck that. If I could afford it I would actually take up smoking. Nevertheless, here are my resolutions, some of which may not actually be resolutions as such:-

1) Watch less television. Television watching should only be acceptable during the eating of a TV dinner, during a sporting event, or when the pubs are shut and one is too drunk to play Pro Evolution Soccer sufficiently well to avoid buggering up your Master League season. I don't, in the grand scheme of things, watch a great deal of it, but it is mostly pish and so my intake must be reduced.

2) Read more. Oh, I began last year with fine intentions, but it all rather fell away and I'm still on the same book I started in May, I think. So, I need to switch off the television and read more often instead.

3) Save money. I'm not skint, but my flat does need things done to it, so I need to save money. I could save money by having a few weekends off the booze (I must stress, following my earlier comments, that this is for financial rather than health reasons) and going to fewer gigs. I think I've cut down on both alcohol and gigs in the last year, so it would be nice to continue the progress.

4) Don't be so bloody lazy about the housework. Nuff said.

5) Chill out about by ongoing state of dreadful loneliness. You see, as I get older, I find myself more and more not giving a toss about anything, which I've found to be tremendously liberating. No need to march against your government starting illegal and immoral foreign wars! A simple, "Tsk! Wankers," under your breath and you're sorted. Wouldn't it be great if I didn't give a shit about everyone else being happier than me, not knowing anyone else who is single? Wouldn't it be great not to fall in love (in a sort of fantastical, half-whipped manner, usually) with every second woman I meet and then feel terribly slighted that she'd rather spend her time with someone else? Wouldn't it be awesome to think that I could stay in on a Friday and Saturday without this gnawing feeling that I should probably be out propping up a bar somewhere, just in case Miss Right happens to walk in that night? (Of course I also go out because I like beer, but sometimes I'm not really up for it and I just go out anyway.)

Wonderful. Imagine it. By this time next year, I could be happily listening to people telling me stories of weekends away with their significant other without me wishing a painful death on one or either of them out of a sense of bitterness that they are loved and I have only a teddy bear to hold at night. In fact I don't even have that! I could watch Hollyoaks without wanting to throw things at the screen because there happen to be happy people on. I could be sitting at the bar, enjoying a pint, doing the Times Crossword, and maybe some girl will come in and think, "Hey, who's this relaxed, handsome chap! He has a certain va-va-voom about him!" Or maybe she won't, and I won't care.

I've not yet worked out how I'm going to do this. I guess there must be some Zen Buddhist training or something, or perhaps medication. Would castration have the desired effect? I'm thinking maybe the zen route...

Right, that's enough for now, it's back to work tomorrow for me, unlike a lot of people who have lives and who therefore have a reason to take holidays...

May I take this opportunity to wish you all a happy 2008, on the condition that it is not happier than mine.