Question of the day: How can us women be so smart in life and so stupid in love? (Not all of us. Calm down dissenters.)
Here is my definition of being in love (as asked by hand in glove):
I don't think it (being in love) has an objective definition. It is different for each of us. I think it is a feeling of being high. A euphoric state. It has nothing to do with commitment, shared time together, respect, concern. It is about desire for the possibility, for the quest to have this person. It is not the same as lust. Lust is about physical desire. Being in love can include that. But it is more than that. It is not grounded in reality. It is a fantasy. An illusion. A fictional script that is fragile--like a bubble--it can burst. And the come down sucks. Like a drug detox, one has withdrawal symptoms... and therefore craves, relishes, welcomes the next high. People who fall in love readily and often, are romantic, passionate, thrill seekers willing to throw three sheets to the wind. Oh but the payoff--wow! It is worth it.
Can you see where my perception is problematic? The fantasy part? Trips me up every time. Makes me fall in love with a projection and not the real person. Hell, I can fall in love without knowing his address, where he works, his parent's names, etc. etc. I fall in love with who he can be in my mind. The knight on the horse. Is this some sick rescue fantasy? Could be. If I had to actually live with the man, would I still love him warts and all? Are us ladies susceptible to this type of projection? Are we socialized to buy into it or is it genetic? Do men have these same tendencies? Or, is love always grounded and rational for them?
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