Well the holidays have past and I`m still here hanging on.I guess I`m still a bit up and down but most who know think I`m doing a little bit better.I am really trying some days are still a struggle I won`t lie
I`ve been trying to keep busy.I`ve been doing a bit of organizing.Maybe it will help to organize my head.I sometimes get afraid of my different moods.The other day I was so chatty and a maybe a little bit hyper.That was strange for me because I usually don`t have much to say.I guess I live inside my head a lot.My family wants me to let out my feelings a little more.Maybe that`s part of my problem.
I`ve been thinking about how I need to get on with my life or at least try.I know it`s about time.I`ve been thinking that I would like to help people like myself.Maybe I could use my creativity in some way.I don`t know.It`s just a thought.
I still really feel so sad sometimes that I can`t help crying..I really hate that.I don`t like to cry.It makes me feel weak.I still haven`t given in.I haven`t cut myself in some time.Not that I haven`t been tempted though.I just think to myself you haven`t given in don`t stop now.I still do think I would feel better if I hurt myself .Once you`ve used it as a coping mechanism for so long it`s kind of hard to stop.
I guess I just keep going.I would like someday to have some kind of nice life.Maybe.
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