I consider myself bisexual. This identity is not fully embraced by the gay community or the straight one. Both groups think bisexuals are fence sitters. Mostly that we are AFRAID to embrace our gayness. Still keeping one foot in the heterocourt. This may be the case for some. It is not the case for me. I could care less what people think. My family is very open and would completely accept me being a lesbian. My mom knows I am bisexual, as does my son. They get it. They understand I have a capacity to love both sexes.
Many claim no one is obligated to come out. True. It is her/his life. And we don't know if doing so would mean their family would disown them or they could lose their jobs etc. But living in a closet, just keeps alternative sexual identities in the margins. Gives the impression it is something to hide—be ashamed of. Moz doesn't help the cause when he fails to use the term bisexual. If he truly loves both sexes, and is and can be, sexually attracted to both, then embracing this label could help so many of us bisexuals. It would help to legitimate it. Him failing to identify with it, makes us wonder why?
Many bisexual artists and celebrities—both women and men—have spoken out about their bisexuality. This has helped me see that I am not alone. Not some freak. Not a fence sitter. So now, when I say to someone, I am bisexual, they no longer roll their eyes and say, yeah right, under their breath.
Is Morrissey bisexual or gay? Only he knows. And what does it mean to be bi and not gay? Does it mean you have to have slept with both sexes? Or is simply being attracted to both enough? If a married man is attracted to some men, but has never had a sexual experience with another man, is he bisexual? Or straight? I'd say bisexual. Because it is about the recognized capacity to love both sexes, not acting on it, necessarily. A celibate, virginal priest knows his sexual orientation, most likely, even though he may have never experienced sexual activity with anyone. So if it isn't about behavior, then what is it about? Desire.
And this is where I have a problem with Morrissey being bisexual, rather than gay. He states in his book, or insinuates, he has had loving relationships with both sexes. Yet, he never claims to have ever been sexually attracted to any woman. However, he has made numerous references indicating he finds men sexually desirable. So if he does not desire women, and actually finds them repulsive—especially their genitalia (see book), it is hard to believe, in my mind, that he is bisexual. He may love both. But Tina is hardly described as an object of desire, in his book. In contrast, the men are. But those sexy passages about Jake have been edited out. Why? To make Tina look sexier? To make him look more bi, as the book was tilting towards gay? That is my theory.
So is Morriseey gay and not bi? I think so. But it is for him to decide. But he seems unwilling to claim the label—the identity—and instead comes up with, yet, another label of his own. He defines 'humasexual' as loving both sexes. Maybe he does love both. Maybe 'humasexual' is a person who loves both sexes but desires only the same sex, sexually. Gay with a twist?
It is odd that he claims to hate labels, and this is why he never embraced one. Yet he then creates another label, for himself, and announces it to the world on TTY. Maybe he just wants to be in control... the one to pin a label on himself and not have it be done by the press or public? We do know he is a control freak, after all.
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