Hilariously Depressing Smiths Lyrics ~ Part I

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I love twisted things... things that are dark and dramatic and depressing yet humorous as well. When it comes to music, nobody, I mean NOBODY, writes depressing lyrics that are so belly-laughing funny, like Morrissey does. This is his greatest charm... attraction... what makes me love his music so much.

I will listen to each Smiths album in its entirety, including the B-sides off the singles, and decide what I think is a hoot--in my current frame of mind. It is interesting how our take on a song changes with the seasons. We may not have found certain things funny ten years ago... such as growing old, until we can relate to it ourselves, perhaps. Of course, there are universals that will be hilarious forever... no matter what station in life we find ourselves. But I am relistening and reevaluating so that this project has an active, current, living feel about it. I will attempt to listen to at least one album a day.

Moz solo albums Part I, Part II

I will listen to the Smiths albums in chronological order. (Moz ones were listened to in reverse chronological order.)

Part I is The Smiths - Meat is Murder. Part II is The Queen is Dead - Strangeways, Here We Come.

This is going to be fun, as I absolutely adore every Smiths song. I really do. A strange misconception about Moz's lyrics, embraced by those who are not in the know, is that they make one feel depressed. Just the opposite. They make me feel happy. The humor, the irony, the tongue-in cheek witty lines, informs the listener that Moz is aware that all his self-depredation, complaining, and whining, is absurd. He's laughing at himself and all of life's complexities, and wants us to laugh with him, at him, and at ourselves as well. It's one big pity party and we are all participants. And because we are in on the joke, this makes us feel special and important and clever. And different, in a good way.


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The Smiths ~ August 19, 2013


Reel Around the Fountain

This hypersexual song has some of my favorite lyrics...

Slap me on the patio
I'll take it now
Oh...

Fifteen minutes with you
Well, I wouldn't say no
Oh, people said that you were virtually dead
And they were so wrong

Oh, people said that you were easily led
And they were half-right

I dreamt about you last night
And I fell out of bed twice
You can pin and mount me like a butterfly



You've Got Everything Now

No, I've never had a job
Because I've never wanted one

You are your mother's only son
And you're a desperate one
Oh ...

But I don't want a lover
I just want to be seen ... oh ... in the back of your car



Miserable Lie

So, goodbye
Please stay with your own kind
And I'll stay with mine

There's something against us
It's not time


I look at yours, you laugh at mine
And "love" is just a miserable lie


And in that voice...

I need advice, I need advice
I need advice, I need advice
Nobody ever looks at me twice
Nobody ever looks at me twice



Pretty Girls Make Graves

"There is a quick and easy way" you say
Before you illustrate
I'd rather state:
"I'm not the man you think I am
I'm not the man you think I am"

I could have been wild and I could have
Been free
But Nature played this trick on me

She wants it Now
And she will not wait
But she's too rough
And I'm too delicate

Then, on the sand
Another man, he takes her hand
A smile lights up her stupid face
(and well, it would)

I lost my faith in Womanhood



This Charming Man

A punctured bicycle
On a hillside desolate
Will nature make a man of me yet?


Why pamper life's complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat

I would go out tonight
But I haven't got a stitch to wear



Still Ill

I decree today that life
Is simply taking and not giving
England is mine - it owes me a living

Does the body rule the mind
Or does the mind rule the body?
I don´t know...

And if you must, go to work - tomorrow
Well, if I were you I wouldn't bother
For there are brighter sides to life
And I should know, because I've seen them
But not very often ...



Hand in Glove

And if the people stare
Then the people stare
Oh, I really don't know


Yes, we may be hidden by rags
But we've something they'll never have

For the good life is out there somewhere
So stay on my arm, you little charmer


What Difference Does It Make?

The devil will find work for idle hands to do
But now you make me feel so ashamed
Because I've only got two hands
Well, I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh

But now you have gone
And your prejudice won't keep you warm tonight



Hatful of Hollow ~ August 20, 2013


William it Was Really Nothing

Oh, the rain falls hard on a humdrum town
This town has dragged you down

I don't dream about anyone - except myself !



These Things Take Time

And I know that I'm
The most inept
That ever stepped


How Soon is Now?

I am the son and the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of the nothing in particular

So you go and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home
And you cry and you want to die



Handsome Devil


There's more to life than books, you know
But not much more



Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now


One of my fave Smiths songs. The whole song is hilarious.

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die?

Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Why do I smile
At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye?



This Night Has Opened My Eyes

One of the Smiths more somber songs, both lyrically and musically.

She could have been a poet or she could have been a fool


Accept Yourself

Others conquered love - but I ran
I sat in my room and I drew up a plan
But plans can fall through as so often they do
And time is against me now



Girl Afraid

Boy afraid
Prudence never pays




Meat is Murder ~ August 20, 2013

This album is a masterpiece, to say the least.

The Headmaster Ritual

Absolutely adore this song. That yodeling is priceless. The lyrics are the epitome of dark humor at its finest.

Belligerent ghouls
Run Manchester schools

Spineless swines
Cemented minds

Sir leads the troops
Jealous of youth
Same old suit since 1962

He does the military two-step
Down the nape of my neck

I wanna go home
I don't wanna stay
Give up education
As a bad mistake

Mid-week on the playing fields
Sir thwacks you on the knees

Knees you in the groin
Elbow in the face
Bruises bigger than dinner plates

He does the military two-step
Down the nape of my neck



Rusholme Ruffians

I might walk home alone...
...But my faith in love is still devout

From a seat on a whirling waltzer
Her skirt ascends for a watching eye
It's a hideous trait (on her mother's side)

So...scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen
(This means you really love me)



I Want the One I Can't Have

On the day that your mentality
Decides to try to catch up with your biology

Cause I want the one I can't have
And it's driving me mad

And if you ever need self-validation
Just meet me in the alley by the
Railway station



What She said

What she said :
"How come someone hasn't noticed
That I'm dead
And decided to bury me?

What she said was sad
But then, all the rejection she's had
To pretend to be happy
Could only be idiocy

What she read
All heady books
She'd sit and prophesise
(It took a tattooed boy from
Birkenhead
To really really open her eyes)

What she said :
"I smoke 'cos I'm hoping for an
Early death
AND I NEED TO CLING TO SOMETHING!"



That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

Time's tide will smother you

It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone



Nowhere Fast

I'd like to drop my trousers to the world
I am a man of means (of slender means)
Each household appliance
Is like a new science in my town

I'd like to drop my trousers to the Queen
Every sensible child will know what this means

And when I'm lying in my bed
I think about life
And I think about death
And neither one particularly appeals to me



Well I Wonder

My favorite Smiths song.

Well I wonder
Do you hear me when you sleep?
I hoarsely cry
Why ...

Well I wonder
Do you see me when we pass?
I half die ...
Why ...

Gasping - dying - but somehow still alive
This is the final stand of all I am

Please keep me in mind

Well I wonder



Barbarism Begins at Home

Unruly girls
Who will not settle down
They must be taken in hand

A crack on the head
Is what you get for not asking
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