Viewing blog entries in category: Random Cultural Things - Page 10
*Update 5/16/2011: This post was kind of experimental in nature. It was meant to be raw and cathartic. Not sure how successful I was. It is also a companion piece, meant to be read along with my next post If You Were Brilliant Could I Love You? So often, when we write--especially me, we check for spelling, grammar, and content. And we censor ourselves. It was risky putting my thoughts out there regarding relationships. I feel naked. But I also feel relieved. End of update.*
I have something important to say. But I fear it has been said all too many times before. How can I express what I am feeling without sounding cliché?
I’ll be slightly original by starting off with a joke written by comedienne Joan Rivers. I first heard this joke when watching the 2010 documentary Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work.
In an archival footage scene from the early 80s, Joan is a guest on The Tonight Show. Host Johnny Carson says to Joan, “Men really do like smart women.” With an exaggerated Are you fucking kidding me? look on her face, she replies, “No man has ever put his hand up a woman's dress looking for a library card.”
Though she first uttered theses words back in the 80s. I am convinced her statement still rings true today. And it is most likely a universal fact. The west thinks it is so liberated from gender stereotypes. It is a façade.
Oh, you will hear men declare that they love—even prefer—to have an intelligent woman for a partner. Don’t be fooled. They say this because it is not safe in today’s climate to claim otherwise. It is not politically correct to state that one wants a dim, subservient, weak-minded woman who will treat one like he is the greatest gift to humankind.
Let’s be real here. Men don’t want to be challenged by anyone—let alone a woman. Their egos demand compliance not confrontation. They want to win. There are no ties. It’s winner takes all. And so as a woman you must play the role of loser if you hope to get along with a man. If you appear threatening, he will grow to despise you and soon will be plotting your demise. But this will all take place under the radar. When he deals the final blow, you won’t know what hit you. Why won’t you be prepared? Because you can’t believe that men hate intelligent women. You don’t want to believe it. It is too unfair, too painful.
By now, you may be thinking that I am a man hater. Not true. I love men. They just don’t love me.
As soon as any man comes to the conclusion that I am of superior intelligence, wit, and creativity, he will no longer have my best interests in mind. He’ll quit being protective. He will become my destroyer. By the time I’m kicked to the curb, I will be a broken woman—physically, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt. It will take a long time before I place blame where it belongs and realize there was nothing I could have done to keep him loving me—short of having a frontal lobotomy.
I think I’m onto something here. Check out these pictures.
Anthony Weiner Twitter Exhibitionist
Eliot Spitzer Purveyor of Prostitutes
Arnold Schwarzenegger Maid-in Voyage
Tiger Woods and Many Holes
Mark Sanford South of the Border Scandalous Soiree
All the photos of these men were taken during their public confessions of adultery/sexual indiscretions. Even though they are finally speaking and apologizing, each is sporting tight lips. What does this shared body language reveal? Are they lips of shame?
Is this just an American idiosyncrasy or is it a universal phenomenon? I think an image search is in order. I’ll have to cross the ponds. I’ll update this post if I find any more images to support my universal lips of shame theory.
I just found a little gem of an essay written by Anthony Lock, the founding editor of the online news-source The Secularist, and a writer for the online magazine Technorati. He argues that the terms left and right are misleading and are often used to obscure relevant truths in important political discussions. I completely agree with his position. Do you?
Read essay here: For the Sake of Argument
The title of Locks' s essay mirrors the book "For the Sake of Argument" by Christopher Hitchens.
Somewhere in all the chatter, I hear another declare, "If so and so gets elected, I'm moving to Canada." My knee-jerk reaction to this is, "Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out."
But then, I pause and regroup and respond more eloquently: "Why Canada? I mean seriously, Why Canada?" Is Canada the promised land; or is it simply the nation of choice due to its close geographical distance to the US? If Canada were located in Europe, would these jaded, expat wannabes still yearn to relocate there? If Australia were to sit where Canada sits, would it be the lucky destination? Or, what if France were the country to the north?
France, after all, has Paris. Paris... a city full of life, love, lust, beauty, modernity, culture, great food... And then, there is Montreal. Okay, Montreal has its charms. But it sort of looks dim--a low watt bulb--compared to the illuminated city of lights. But, if an English speaking city is more desirable, does London not trump Toronto? At the very least, it can rightly boast to having a richer, fuller history and much better accents.
Let it be known that I have nothing against Canada. Every experience I have had with this country and her people has been positive. But I wouldn't choose to live there if I were fleeing the US. First of all, Canada is not the antithesis of America. Yes there are differences. But Canada is also plagued by bad weather, overcrowding, pollution, high unemployment, crime, junk food, obesity, and crooked politicians. Fleeing one bad relationship with the US for another bad relationship with Canada is absurd. If abandoning the motherland, and close proximity is not key, why not go all out? How about Fiji, The Maldives, or Monaco?
Perhaps Canada is chosen because it is thought to be a feasible option. But is it? I mean, why do these folks assume that Canada will welcome them with open arms? Is it really that easy to immigrate to that country? Do they let any Tom, Dick, and Harry pitch a tent? Let's be honest here. Does Canada really want to adopt our socially, culturally, and cognitively impaired refugees? I don't think she does. Are the rampant anti-American sentiments amongst Canadians not proof enough?
Fortunately for Canada, but perhaps not so fortune for the US, these threats to relocate across the border rarely come to fruition. The wannabe expats get cold feet. And lacking the courage of their convictions reveal themselves to be full of hot air.
Image by Banksy
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