Viewing blog entries in category: Life, Family - Page 11

  • realitybites
    *Update 5/16/2011: This post was kind of experimental in nature. It was meant to be raw and cathartic. Not sure how successful I was. It is also a companion piece, meant to be read along with my prior post If I Get a Lobotomy Will You Love Me?

    So often, when we write--especially me, we check for spelling, grammar, and content. And we censor ourselves. It was risky putting my thoughts out there regarding relationships. I feel naked. But I also feel relieved. End of update*

    When I was fifteen years old, my stepfather said to me, “You need to marry a man who is more intelligent than you.” Even though marriage wasn’t something I wanted in my future, I read his comment as a sort of compliment. Clearly he thought me to be an intelligent young woman. But what did he mean by more intelligent? Why was this part crucial to my happiness? Did he know something that I was not yet privy to?

    Flash-forward ten years—it was the night of my college graduation. I had just recently called off my engagement from my partner of two years. A good friend of mine, Danny, who had recently moved back to his birth state, New York, came down to Florida for the ceremony. After a celebratory dinner, Danny, my brother Jeff, his wife Deanna, and I were in the car headed back to Jeff’s house for a little homespun Karaoke. Out of the blue my brother said to Danny, “Jehne needs to be with someone more intelligent than her.” Where the heck did that come from? He wasn’t in the room when my stepfather uttered those same words a decade earlier. What was going on? I asked Jeff to explain what he meant by his statement. He said that I wouldn’t be happy unless I was with someone who could challenge me. I wouldn’t respect nor admire him unless he was smarter than myself. Was he onto something?

    I stayed single for almost five years after that. Then I met my second husband who is intelligent—clearly more educated than my ex-fiancé. But was this relationship doomed as well? Soon after I married him, I grew unhappy. Was it because he was not more intelligent than me? Did my stepfather and brother curse me? Or was Mother Nature the instigator of this cruel fate?

    After my husband and I divorced, my mother point blank said to me, “You need to be with someone more intelligent than you.” I shot back, “It’s never going to happen.” She said, “I know.”

    Maybe a man can love this intelligent woman. Maybe I can’t love a man who isn’t brilliant.
  • realitybites
    *Update 5/16/2011: This post was kind of experimental in nature. It was meant to be raw and cathartic. Not sure how successful I was. It is also a companion piece, meant to be read along with my next post If You Were Brilliant Could I Love You? So often, when we write--especially me, we check for spelling, grammar, and content. And we censor ourselves. It was risky putting my thoughts out there regarding relationships. I feel naked. But I also feel relieved. End of update.*


    I have something important to say. But I fear it has been said all too many times before. How can I express what I am feeling without sounding cliché?

    I’ll be slightly original by starting off with a joke written by comedienne Joan Rivers. I first heard this joke when watching the 2010 documentary Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work.

    In an archival footage scene from the early 80s, Joan is a guest on The Tonight Show. Host Johnny Carson says to Joan, “Men really do like smart women.” With an exaggerated Are you fucking kidding me? look on her face, she replies, “No man has ever put his hand up a woman's dress looking for a library card.”

    Though she first uttered theses words back in the 80s. I am convinced her statement still rings true today. And it is most likely a universal fact. The west thinks it is so liberated from gender stereotypes. It is a façade.

    Oh, you will hear men declare that they love—even prefer—to have an intelligent woman for a partner. Don’t be fooled. They say this because it is not safe in today’s climate to claim otherwise. It is not politically correct to state that one wants a dim, subservient, weak-minded woman who will treat one like he is the greatest gift to humankind.

    Let’s be real here. Men don’t want to be challenged by anyone—let alone a woman. Their egos demand compliance not confrontation. They want to win. There are no ties. It’s winner takes all. And so as a woman you must play the role of loser if you hope to get along with a man. If you appear threatening, he will grow to despise you and soon will be plotting your demise. But this will all take place under the radar. When he deals the final blow, you won’t know what hit you. Why won’t you be prepared? Because you can’t believe that men hate intelligent women. You don’t want to believe it. It is too unfair, too painful.

    By now, you may be thinking that I am a man hater. Not true. I love men. They just don’t love me.

    As soon as any man comes to the conclusion that I am of superior intelligence, wit, and creativity, he will no longer have my best interests in mind. He’ll quit being protective. He will become my destroyer. By the time I’m kicked to the curb, I will be a broken woman—physically, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt. It will take a long time before I place blame where it belongs and realize there was nothing I could have done to keep him loving me—short of having a frontal lobotomy.
  • realitybites
    Here's my (kick the) Bucket List ~ So Far:

    Go to London
    Become a grandmother
    Publish a book
    Have my art displayed in public areas
    Find a best friend
    Be free of regret
    Drive a racing boat
    Have a love affair with Keanu Reeves
    Publish an illustrated children's book
    (* New addition 6/1/11)



    Well, I have good reason to celebrate, indeed! I can cross off an item from my Bucket List. Want to guess which one? I’ll give you a clue, Amazon.com. I am officially a published author. You can buy my new book here:

    US Amazon Store
    UK Amazon Store
    DE Amazon Store

    Printed Version Coming Soon

    [​IMG]

    So what should I tackle next?

    I'm thinking Keanu. :p But that is my greatest challenge. I probably should go for one of the easier goals.

    I’ll keep you posted.


    After I published my book, I did a search on Amazon for realitybites. I found my book. But I also found this. Apparently I am referenced fifteen times in the book and several of my color palettes are used as design inspirations for the reader. How cool is that.
  • realitybites
    Socrates famously declared, "The unexamined life is not worth living." I would agree with that. But how about this one by me, "The edited life is worth writing?"

    I am currently editing my journal of seven years to be published as a Kindle book on Amazon.com. There are over five-hundred entries to sift through. I hadn't read the majority of them after they had been originally published here at Morrissey-Solo and/or at my MySpace blog. Some of them don't warrant being put in a book e.g. lyrics, copy and paste articles and poems. Others are dull or too simplistic e.g. one-liners such as "I am happy."

    Some are quite blunt and politically incorrect--possibly causing offense. Others may appear antagonistic. And then there are those unguarded moments of sensitive introspection and disclosure that may cause embarrassment to those I love. I hope not, because I never aim to gratuitously hurt the feelings of others, and I am not a spiteful nor revengeful soul. And yet, I don't aim to please nor placate. That's not my style. (* Edited 5/26/11 ~ Felt some remarks were insensitive. I guess I do care how my words affect others. If I didn't, I'd have no business writing a book.)

    I am not including any comments. Sorry folks. But when put inside a book format they just don't work e.g. one-liners without interesting commentary, profanity, vulgar ad hominem attacks to my fragile ego. And although sweet compliments given to me are much appreciated, they probably are only cherished by me as well. But if comments are your cup of tea, you can always peruse them here in my journal archives or at my blog on MySpace.

    Some chapters of my life have sort-of-gone missing, like my marriage from 2005-2010. Wishful editing?

    Is this edited version life of mine worth writing? I think it is. But I'll let you be the final judge.



    Cover of Book

    [​IMG]
  • realitybites
    Death is everywhere and nowhere.

    Death's a predator and no one is spared. Natural disasters and wars are taking the lives of millions. We are bombarded by one catastrophe and conflict after another--in rapid succession--without time to recover before we're assaulted by another. It's crisis overload.

    And death is unrecognizable--a nothingness--a failure to exist. Death has no meaning to the dead. All we can say is that death is not life, but nothing else. Death is a void. We can't know what it is, only what it's not. Much like atheism, it is a refutation of the affirmative. Death has no meaning outside of life. And atheism has no meaning without the assertion of god.

    Life however, is full of riches to behold--a treasure chest of experiences, stocking the mind with a vast wealth of memories that we can recollect and reflect upon, time and time again. We value our memories deeply; they give our life a historical narrative that serves as the foundation for meaning to take hold. We guard them with our life--until time comes knocking--taking us and our memories to the grave. Thus, our memories join our bones in the underground--buried forever. Or in the case of cremation, scattered as dust in the wind--never to be rebound.

    In the space between birth and demise lies the existential crisis. If you are among the godless you will bear a great burden--the belief that there is no god who will lovingly guide you through life's end nor supply you with a future plan.You're on your own kid.

    Without self-soothing illusions--otherwise known as prayer and a ticket to heaven--to give life an innate purpose, you must construct your own meaning. Because suffering is inevitable, joy is paramount. Life is good when pleasure trumps pain.

    Heaven is a lie. This life is all there is. And dying really sucks because no matter how gritty and grim and burdensome and dim--full of struggle and pain--life is, it is still something to embrace. Ceasing to exist in any form again--forever--means you've been erased. Death doesn't check you into a better place. Rather, it promises a cold hard resting space. A lot of people believe in an after-existence. But their beliefs--no matter how strong they are--can't turn falsehood into truth.

    You will resist, of course. But in the end, death will insist. Until then, you devise a list of all the things you want to do before you die. Because your life is your one time only chance to shine, you might as well make the most of it. At least you will have truly lived.

    Here's my (kick the) Bucket List ~ So Far:

    Go to London
    Become a grandmother
    Publish a book
    Have my art displayed in public areas
    Have a love affair with Keanu Reeves (Update 5/19/11 : We all need to dream a little. :p)
    Find a best friend
    Be free of regret
    Drive a racing boat
  • realitybites
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