Modern Love, The No. 1 Sex Survey - The No. 1 Book (1987)

Scans posted by Alan Armstrong in the Facebook group "The Smiths & Morrissey Rarities". Link from Famous when dead.

From the Geoff Travis Omega sale.


We first asked the stars about sex in March 1984. It was the sex-conscious age pin-up stars like John Taylor and Paul Young and so-called 'gender benders' like Boy George.

These days things are a lot quieter on the sexual front. Is it AIDS? Is it boredom? We talked to a few of today's stars to find out.



Morrissey (The Smiths)

Do you consciously project a sexy image?
I personally possess as much mystical sexual allure as an all-purpose dishcloth.

Would you pose nude?
No, I don't see any point in deliberately frightening children and horses.

If there was a pill for men would you take it?
Yes, if crushed in jam.

How old were you when you were told the facts of life?
Until I was 16 1 always firmly believed that there was a link between childbirth and Green Shield Stamps.

What's your favourite sexy record?
'Walkin' Through The Cemetery' by Claudine Clark.

Do you believe in marriage?
Marriage is one hobby I wholeheartedly approve of.

Is society too permissive?
Yes indeed. There far too much hard core religion on television. The young impressionable mind cannot cope.

Could you live without sex?
After 27 years in such a condition the answer is surely 'yes'.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Being semi-blind without spectacles, I would never trust the judgement of my own eyesight. On such matters as love at first sight I prefer to seek the advice of a high street consultant.

Do you flirt?
I'd never flirt with anyone because I'd hate to make the cat jealous.

Are you a jealous person?
Yes, I envy bald nuns. (note: handwritten response in scan is 'tall nuns')

What's the sexiest outfit you own?
A grey cardigan.

What's the most unusual place you've ever had sex?
In a real bed with a real person.

Has AIDS changed your attitude towards sex?
Unless AIDS can be caught by fondling other people's library tickets I'm unlikely to contract it.

Are pop stars sexually more conservative than they were a few years ago?
Yes, because total honesty about most people's sexuality would do almost anything except increase their popularity.