I recently celebrated my birthday and got to thinking about time and the things I`ve been through. My twenties were not good in fact I think they were a nightmare because that`s when I started getting ill. It first manifested itself by torturing me with bad, untreated OCD. I suffered in silence with that because I was afraid, they would think I was crazy. I guess I was right. I went through an eating disorder and self-harm.
I was looking at my scars and I can`t believe what I`ve done to myself. I can see the marks made by broken glass, razor blades, scissors and matches and lighters. Those are the things I`ve harmed myself with. Do I regret it? Yes, I hate my ugly scars and no, that`s what I did to survive that time in my life.
The illness makes my life difficult. The meds and their side effects. The racing thoughts, the insomnia. I have a difficult time falling asleep at night because my mind is just racing. I get so tired sometimes of all of it. But I am grateful for the things I do have and the comfort they bring me when I need them.
My physical health problems last year didn`t make my depression any better. But I did get two lovable balls of sunshine with my two new Chihuahua puppies thanks to my cousin. I waited to get another dog after my beloved Chihuahua passed away. I miss him so much.
I hope things do get better this year.
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I was looking at my scars and I can`t believe what I`ve done to myself. I can see the marks made by broken glass, razor blades, scissors and matches and lighters. Those are the things I`ve harmed myself with. Do I regret it? Yes, I hate my ugly scars and no, that`s what I did to survive that time in my life.
The illness makes my life difficult. The meds and their side effects. The racing thoughts, the insomnia. I have a difficult time falling asleep at night because my mind is just racing. I get so tired sometimes of all of it. But I am grateful for the things I do have and the comfort they bring me when I need them.
My physical health problems last year didn`t make my depression any better. But I did get two lovable balls of sunshine with my two new Chihuahua puppies thanks to my cousin. I waited to get another dog after my beloved Chihuahua passed away. I miss him so much.
I hope things do get better this year.
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