It's the first weekend after his death, and I have plunged into a very deep sadness today.
I am feeling sorry that I couldn't help him, and that he can't help me any longer. Life presents itself devoid of any meaning at all. This seems to be a phase, as everyone says, but I am sure that such phases just open up your eyes to reality and life in general.
The older cat, P., the survivor, was whining this morning at 5am, and later threw up his breakfast, which he hadn't done for a very long time. Cleaning the carpet afterwards felt meaningful and reminded me of T. when he was still with us. But nevertheless, I have to keep an eye on P. He might be grieving too, and that's how he is showing it. Everything he feels is somehow expressed through his relation to food. I hope, he is going to stay strong and healthy, despite his loss. I ordered "Star of Bethlehem" Bachblueten today, which is said to help animals and humans through times of bereavement.