Seems So Unfair

There are some difficult things I need to face but it`s really heartbreaking to do. I need to face that without a miracle my Mother is not getting better. She just fell again tonight. She has difficulty keeping her balance when walking and she also gets dizzy. We are so afraid she`s going to have a really bad fall and get hurt badly. Her hearing has also diminished even with the help of hearing aids. She has Parkinson`s disease. It`s a truly awful disease. It has made a truly independent woman transform into a woman that cannot be left alone anymore. She truly doesn`t deserve this. I`m so afraid to lose her. The other day we were frightened that we might. She was choking and couldn`t catch her breath. Yesterday my younger sister told her doctor this. They are going to do some tests on her to see the reason why. It`s most likely her Parkinson`s though. It`s so hard for my family to watch her going through this. I can`t imagine what`s going on in her own mind. It must be hell for her if it`s difficult just to watch her going through it. My dad just said to me tonight " she`s not getting better is she? "That just broke my heart because in my head I know it`s true but I just keep praying for a miracle.

I`m finding it really hard to be strong. My mental health is suffering. I don`t leave the house that often. My sister`s take her to her doctor appointments since I don`t drive. I`m having a hard time facing all of this. My greatest fear since I was a child was losing my Mother. She`s my best friend.


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