I Know It's Over

When a relationship begins to resound with echoing death knells, it's fairly unmistakable. I have known for a very long time that this would occur. And, honestly, it's been degrading since the moment it began.
I blame myself.
So does he.
In fact, he not only heaps all the blame on me, but all the responsibility as well. Furthering the opportunity for more blame to be upon my head when I inevitably can't manage with both hands tied behind my back and all the odds stacked up against me.
I have talked about it all I wish to talk about it.
I have cried all the tears I had for something that just never really fully took shape.
I just want it to end.
It's so very ugly. So rude. So low class. Belligerent.
I would prefer to just dust off my hands and walk away.
And that's not going to happen.
The fight hasn't even begun.
I have been gone so long, I can't go home.
I have been too long in exile.
So, where to from here? Now, after a last ditch effort at pair bonding, which is very clearly not for me, I can get on with living a free, independent life. I suppose I was so easily given to the fantasy of love and marriage. Probably one of the only ways in which societal norms made any impression on me whatsoever. I wanted to believe it was possible. I wanted to experience it.
Nothing cures love quite like marriage.
There's no need to drone on and on.
I just needed to lament a bit.


realitybites;bt5271 said:

Thank you! I am fantastically confused and have not a single clue where to go or what to do.
I hate to admit it, but I know I will be happier on my own. It's still sad.
sorry things ended the way they did. sounds like there was an excess of unpleasantness going on for a while.

happier on your own is definitely better than UNhappy in a duo, i think...

i have very little experience in romance: it seems a far off island to me; i hardly know the inhabitants and i barely know the language! i find it amazing that any relationship lasts longer than a few years. maybe you should congratulate yourself on getting things to work (mostly? sort of?) for as long as they did?

sorry i've been a stranger. i will try to keep up on my pink tricycle.


S, you need to soup up that lil pink trike and get some nitrous to shift it into high gear!!
Good to hear from you, as always!
Yes, I lament. At great length.
But, isn't that what draws us all together in the congregation of our beloved Pope?!
I, too, share your amazement that ANY relationship lasts any length of time whatsoever!
I must update this entry by saying that we are still kicking our dead horse, bloated and stinking as it is. And I just somehow bet, ten years from now, we still will be, on some level! I am an extremist and I often see things that are just not going great as doom and gloom. But, on the happy end of the spectrum, anything mildly tolerable is just GRAND!
Bound to be the Celt in me.
Or, I at least enjoy blaming my Celtic side for all my irrational emotions!
Don't be a stranger!
Have you writ anythin' of late?
all me love,
thanks for saying hi :)

my lil pink trike is fueled by tears and lost dreams ;) no need for nitrous when you have those! it might be better to lament now and then than to keep it all in. then, like i have done in the past, you end up self-pity splurging on amazon or some other internet retailer site. those six pink dress shirts of varying styles? that was me!

hmm, maybe that black & white pattern of thinking could be modified? i have the same tendency. for me, it has a lot to do with self-talk - which is often negative - and ill-founded expectations.

i don't have any celt in me to blame. maybe one day i can go to a gay bar in ireland and knock that off the to-do list.

i WOULD write SOMEthing, except that not enough people are submitting entries to my contest. check out my blog, will you? Miz Bites has already put in her selection.

love and sprockets,

Well, I certainly will visit your site and make entry of some sort!
About something!
Very happy to speak witcha dahling!
Count you amongst my fabulous Who's Who!
When I boast about the diversity of folk in my realm,
I mention you!!
some sorts of entries about somethings are good for some people, but not other people because some people like what others don't when they're in some mood that another person isn't after something happens. maybe to someone.

when i boast about the polymorphous perversity of people who make entries about things i think about things to say about a person, like something nice that would mean something to that person who's really something else. you dig?


gertrude stein
Oh for f***'s sake.
No, I don't have a shovel that would penetrate the scorched earth of that paragraph,
so, digging is out!
I was being facetious, as I so often do when exchanging with you.
But, the sentiment of appreciation is true and nothing about which to joke or be facetious. I am unclear of the impact, but if that was negative, I sure do apologize.
50 points for providing me with an opportunity to use the following word
appropriately in a sentence.
You comprehensively obfuscated what was meant in that statement.
Always lovely to see you, Gertrude!

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My Only Weakness
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