Comfort In Knowing

I used to take comfort from that package of razor blades tucked away in the one of the drawers.That package is still there.I still have them but I don`t take comfort in that anymore.I haven`t done it in a long time and I promised someone that I wouldn`t do it again.Funnily enough I sometimes miss it.It used to be my friend.The one I could turn to when I neeeded relief and release.Now that I don`t have it I have no relief.It just churns and burns inside of me..That`s why I miss it.I sometimes want it back but I don`t want what it leaves behind.It`s ugly and it makes me ashamed.Ashamed of what I`ve done to myself.A permanent mark that`s with me forever.Still I miss my old friend.


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