General
A normal day. It is late afternoon and I am getting my workout in. The music is blaring and I am pumped. I feel very strong.
In between benchpress sets, John Denver's song, "No One" comes on. Maybe one of the saddest songs I know. The songs ending verse is belted out in a desperate and urgent...
I feel numb. I`m not sure if it`s the meds or not. I feel empty inside. I don`t seem capable of much these days. I look in the mirror and all I see is emptiness in my eyes. My body feels exhausted all the time. This illness takes so much from me. I don`t see my purpose in life. I don`t feel...
My week didn`t start out so well. I started the new med my psychiatrist prescribed to me last week and it didn`t agree with me. It made me sick to my stomach. I won`t be taking that again. When I saw him last week he also prescribed something that would help my anxiety during the day. I took it...
Is he Rock Hudson?? Appreciated if someone informs me.
Tomorrow morning I am flying to Seattle with my mom! This will be our first trip there. Both of of have traveled extensively throughout the US but never farther northwest of California.
We are home.
Here is the link to my Seattle Pics...
I just composed a long love letter to my wife. In summary, I am grateful she came into my life.
When thinking about my life and then documenting it, there is a tinge of sadness with the awareness that so many people can't see what to be grateful for in their lives. That they may not...
As my kids get older, I find they have their own thirst for their own hard earned wisdom. My wife and I can prevent so many failings for them if they just blindly followed ours. But is that really giving them wisdom. I truly don't think so.
I understand the young adult process that you have...
I think I`ve written before about my anxiety coming on when it gets dark outside. It used to be different with me. A couple of years or so I only used to sleep about every other night. I had/have really bad insomnia. Now I do sleep every night that`s if I take my meds. No meds means no sleep...
Forgive me I'm out of practice. I haven't written much here or anywhere in the last few years. I blame it on Prozac. My desire or need to express myself out loud, in words, has been stifled. I'm just not that inspired, compelled, or motivated. I think my open-ended drug prescription has been a...
I'm a couple days away from a month off traveling with the family. I keep a map box in the attic. Pulled it out to grab some state maps we will be wandering around before we head overseas. It was a mess so I started organizing the box. I was suprprised as I had never really reflected on just...
I feel I'm getting closer and closer to my son. He is such a great teenager. We just got done with dinner at a bayside restaurant on Saturday night. We decided to go for a walk along the water to settle the food. The conversations we have are getting so deep.
As his dad, I am very close to...
When you're older you are no longer a victim of your sexual hormones--a slave to your libido.
When you are older you aren't expected to look sexy but rewarded highly if you do.
When you are older you impress with your strength--feel no shame for being vulnerable.
When you are older you have...
I can`t help feel that way tonight. I was just sitting here and a feeling of dread washed over me. I have my family and I love them but I can`t help feeling so lonely. When it gets dark it gets worse . I hate the night. My day went well enough but these awful feelings take over at night. I feel...
My children are very musical. My daughter is a lyric driven listener and my son is a instrumental driven listener. I have surreal moments where I recognize through experience that I am close to my kids on a many levels.
The gym has brought on some of these surreal moments. Today while I was...
