Bruised internally, eternally

I believe we all carry a little bit of this. As a young Morrissey fan, I believe it was my prerequisite. This is a deeper feeling of the world. A sensitivity that cannot be quenched with a mere juveniles take on the human condition. Some people are well versed on the nuance of a persons inside. If you have never been or are neither bruised internally or eternally, then my hat is off to you.

This is not something that is worn on your sleeve. It is imperceptible to the world in which you walk. It is not written over the faces of the inflicted. Ever present and over time, faded and understood. It is a personal endeavor and process of individual introspection.

I may be a fool but I am weary of anyone who is so stately that they disavow their own or the frailty of anyone's internal bruising. The same as if I had a limp, you wouldn't know of it unless you saw me walking. I believe it is true for me as it may be for others. I think it has been courageous the many who have laid theirs bare at the footsteps of solo over the years. I applaud you and with sorrow, lament your exit at the hands of the suppressive.

So much time has past since juvenile days, I have little desire to give it more importance than it requires. Time has relieved its satiating need. A reminder of how it made me. The growing strength to see the forest through the trees.

I enjoy the now as tomorrow has not revealed itself. Should I not live today for fear of tomorrow's tumbles. I think not. My mother asks me sometimes about my life and how I work my way through it while being married and raising children. With everyone's own internal workings at play, I can only state that I express to all around me that I try to do no harm. A basic principle to guide me.

I believe the difference between good and evil is a matter of temptation. The good person pines over their temptation to act and struggles to heed the creed of do no harm. The bad person thinks nothing of conscience and just does and takes, hurting others whenever the whim whirls in front of them. It is so easy to laugh and hate but I know, it takes strength to be gentle and kind. Wise words I've borrowed, that have meant so much to me.


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