So Far From Where I Intended To Go

Tibby
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Had a lovely day today.Spent all of the morning doing my favorite thing listening to music.Spent most of the night doing that too.I just love music it`s been that way forever.When we were kids and we had done something good my Mom would take us to music store and buy us any single we wanted.I...
Tibby
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2K
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I can`t sleep again.I find myself sleeping less and less lately.I just feel this sadness creeping further and further inside of me.I feel it burning deep down in my stomach.It fills me with pain and anxiety.I can`t sleep.I can`t breathe.I want to sleep forever because that`s the only time I have...
Tibby
1 min read
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1K
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I have felt this sadness deep inside it seems like for ages.It`s a deep,dark pit that goes on forever.I feel like I`m trying to dig my way out but keep sinking deeper and deeper.The only way for the sadness to go away for a litte while is to cut or burn or hit.It lets out everything I can`t...
Tibby
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926
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Today was my last appointment with my psychiatrist.It looks like now I`ll have to find a new one.I am pretty sad about this.I`ve been seeing him for a long time. I guess I`m just sad in general.I found it pretty difficult to get out of bed this morning.I also cut myself and I did a pretty...
Tibby
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3
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I was thinking about how long I`ve been this way.Depressed I mean.It has been a while.I`ve been better and I`ve been worse.When it was really bad I used to pray for death.I just wanted to be put out of my misery.When my depression and ocd first surfaced I learned how to use self injury as a...
Tibby
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I really,really tried hard to fight those feelings but I lost.I really tried not to do it.But I did it again.I cut myself again.After I was done I felt like I could breathe again.I felt better.I just keep everything inside.And when it gets to be too much I have to find a way to let it...
Tibby
1 min read
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1K
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I`ve been feeling so tired and blue.I just can`t seem to make these feelings go away.When I do get to sleep I just don`t want to get out of bed.It just makes me want to hurt myself again and again.I haven`t given in to those feelings though.I haven`t hurt myself lately.I`ve really been trying...
Tibby
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1K
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1
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I`m feeling pretty blue.All I feel like doing is going to bed and never getting out.I wish I could sleep but I am wide awake tonight.I feel so empty and dead inside.I have this hole in my heart that nothing seems to fill.That`s why I cut myself I guess.I cut to feel relief,I cut just to prove...
Tibby
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2K
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Was feeling under the weather on friday.I just couldn`t get out of bed.So I stayed there all day.I guess it my depression getting the best of me. Went to see my psych on wednesday.My last appointment with him will be next month.It`s going to be weird not seeing him anymore.He said he didn`t...
Tibby
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1
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I cut again.I must have done a pretty good job because when I took off the bandage off it started bleeding again.I mean it really started bleeding.There I was bleeding all over the bathroom floor.I just waited for it to stop again then I cleaned up the bathroom floor.I am just disgusted with...
Tibby
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I gave in again.I cut myself.I held on for as long as I could.I just had to do it to make those feelings go away.It only works for a little while though.Then I have to do it again.I look at my arm and can`t believe what I`ve done to myself.Why would a person do that to herself?I don`t scream or...
Tibby
1 min read
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2K
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5
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So here I am It` s 1:50 in the morning.I`m wide awake.:eek:It`s my day to be up.I have a weird sleeping schedule.I only sleep every other day.I wish I could sleep like a normal person.My sister told me you need to_ (fill in the blanks) like a normal person.I told her that ship sailed long...
Tibby
1 min read
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1K
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My sister saw the burns on my arm.She tells me you don`t need to do that.Then my little niece noticed.I was totally embarrassed and told her never mind it`s nothing.I get so embarrassed and ashamed when people notice.Yet that does not stop me.:tears::tears: We`ve had some good news for a...
Tibby
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1K
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Well I saw my psych on wednesday.I told him everything I`ve been feeling.I also told him about my sleeping.I told him I`ve gone two days without sleep.He also told me maybe exercise would help that.He asked me if I was still cutting.I said yes and told him I was burning myself too.I burnt myself...
Tibby
1 min read
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1K
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3
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Took a road trip last weekend it was me and my mom and cousins and aunt and uncle.We went to celebrate my great aunts birthday.It was a six hour drive there and we came back the same day.It was nice to see the realtives on my mom`s side.My mom said she was just happy to get me out of house as I...
Tibby
1 min read
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1K
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2
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I`m feeling more and more depressed.I find myself crying for no reason.My mom even asked me if I think I should go to a hospital.Of course I said no.I really need to get my sleep sorted out as I sleep only every other day.I just went without two days of sleep.I felt so awful.If I didn`t take my...
Tibby
1 min read
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1K
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4
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Things have not been going to well.Everyone has noticed my depression is getting worse.I have been very moody and my mother has even told me she never knows what kind of mood I`m going to wake up in.She told me a bunch of things I never knew like she used to lock her bedroom door at night...

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