Your the one for me, chubby chops

[Ted the fat one who never pulls in the Tavern (but]

Dear Loaf and jinxt

Have you any idea how many lonley people there are in the world today. The problem I have Found, is that large women don't like men who are a mirrior-image of themselves. Although I am large myself I find the female Rubenesque figure quite attractive. Most large women are disgusted with there figure, some pay thousands if not tens of thousands for 'lippo-suction. I say put your money back in your purse girlie, I love you the way you are. And if we get as far as the bedroom, leave the light on.

 

[Our Hank]

You should just cut back on crappy food and get some exercise.

 

[jinxt]

fat bottomed girls they make the rockin world go round..

Dear teddy,
i've just learned not to put much faith in physical
things, in my life its never led to anything good. i
did mean to take it out on you just sometimes i like
the view from atop my soapbox. as far as lonely people
go not only am i the president i am also a member, why
do you think i'm in here. my particular problem is i
am a profesional best friend liscensed to carry in the
lower 48 states. they share their hearts with me and i
fall in love with them. they tell i'm the coolest
person they've ever met and have no idea what they
would do without me, how they've never clicked with
anyone the way they have w/ me but because of how i
look they wl date, love and marry the idiot that they
want to sleep with. no matter how little they have in
common or how much they fight or if the get cheated or
or emotionally and physically abused(no lie) and i
will be there to pick up the pieces because thats what
i do. but it hurts because it's all based on how i
look, unlike the gorgeous people i have to be nice
otherwise the great personality line wont work.

 

[suzanne]

Re: fat bottomed girls they make the rockin world go round..

Isn't it sad? There are many girls out there that actually believe there is something wrong with a guy if they act like they care for them.

I get sick of seeing some guys when they strut around like they are man of the household. They don't have to be outwardly physically abusive in any way, yet the girl doesn't really benefit that much.

It really starts from their own childhood when their parents never let them make up their minds about things, or just generally repress any emotion or tell them what their needs are. They pretty much emotionally stunt their daughter's growth by telling her that she is not good enough to take care of herself and then they wonder how she ends up with a guy that tells her what to think.

 

[jinxt]

Re: fat bottomed girls they make the rockin world go round..

> Isn't it sad? There are many girls out there that actually
> believe there is something wrong with a guy if they act like
> they care for them.

> I get sick of seeing some guys when they strut around like they
> are man of the household. They don't have to be outwardly
> physically abusive in any way, yet the girl doesn't really
> benefit that much.

> It really starts from their own childhood when their parents
> never let them make up their minds about things, or just
> generally repress any emotion or tell them what their needs are.
> They pretty much emotionally stunt their daughter's growth by
> telling her that she is not good enough to take care of herself
> and then they wonder how she ends up with a guy that tells her
> what to think.

got i hate to say this since this is my place i can remain gender anonymous, but i'm a girl, a straight girl talking about men. a girl who knows that everyone has some sort of evil character flaw that they could do without, but which ones do people chose to ignore.
sorry just one of those things you think about when its your 19th birthday and youre sitting next to your best friend in his car stalking his exgirlfriend.

faded pink sock,
jinxt

 

[Pappy]

Suzanne's Can

Let me stroke it. I won't poke it. Not until after we smoke it.

 

[Gothy]

Re: fat bottomed girls they make the rockin world go round..

Excuse me... this may not be what you two are intending but it is one of my pet peeves:

Why do you assume it is the woman's fault if she stays? You think women choose to be in these relationships? Almost 50% of all relationships are like that. Let's put responsibility where it lies: on the MEN/abusers. And don't give me any line about "women abuse, too" because 95% of all domestic violence cases - the man is the abuser.

"Why does she stay?" Well, it is a terrible question, but I would like to enlighten just a bit: if he threatens to kill you or your family or your children, what would you do? The victim's chance of being killed DRAMATICALLY INCREASES if she leaves. The relationship is based on control and violence. It is close to impossible to leave.

Oh... and about "women" being so awful and not liking fat men... please give me a freaking break. I do apologize to the men who have written and find that to be their situation... but have any of you watched U.S. television lately? Count how many fat men you see in commercials and on shows. Now count fat women. Oh, is there a big difference? DUH! There is an inordinately larger number of thin women with fat men then vice versa. Please do your own informal research. Sit in a mall or somewhere public and count...

Oh, I'm not bitter. I'm with a wonderful man. So I'll get off of the podium now.

Take Care!

 

[suzanne]

Re: fat bottomed girls they make the rockin world go round..

> Excuse me... this may not be what you two are intending but it
> is one of my pet peeves:

> Why do you assume it is the woman's fault if she stays? You
> think women choose to be in these relationships? Almost 50% of
> all relationships are like that. Let's put responsibility where
> it lies: on the MEN/abusers. And don't give me any line about
> "women abuse, too" because 95% of all domestic
> violence cases - the man is the abuser.

Yes, the ones we know about.

All I'm addressing is why a woman would choose a man like that to begin with. What I'm also talking about is how the role of victim is instilled in these girls long before they ever hook up with the guy. How many confident and well spoken people do you know that get involved in such? Almost none. I'm saying that the people earlier in their lives could have done a much better service to them in giving them confidence in themselves to not choose such a guy. There are many people out there whose parents fail them in those minor roles, and now they are adults with problems. Many of them can't make up their own minds, can't handle their adult affairs, and just have a hard time not clinging to people.

Also, there are many who are in "abusive" relationships where there is no threat of physical violence. The guys puts tabs on them and interferes with their outside life in varying degrees, but many of these guys I know who do this don't end up chasing the girl down with a gun afterwards.

> "Why does she stay?" Well, it is a terrible question,
> but I would like to enlighten just a bit: if he threatens to
> kill you or your family or your children, what would you do? The
> victim's chance of being killed DRAMATICALLY INCREASES if she
> leaves. The relationship is based on control and violence. It is
> close to impossible to leave.

I"m not arguing that.

> Oh... and about "women" being so awful and not liking
> fat men... please give me a freaking break. I do apologize to
> the men who have written and find that to be their situation...
> but have any of you watched U.S. television lately? Count how
> many fat men you see in commercials and on shows. Now count fat
> women. Oh, is there a big difference? DUH! There is an
> inordinately larger number of thin women with fat men then vice
> versa. Please do your own informal research. Sit in a mall or
> somewhere public and count...

But TV is a man's fantasy life. Like the beer commercial, they want to show some ordinary Joe with bad clothing taste and obnoxious personality traits with a model on their arm.

> Oh, I'm not bitter. I'm with a wonderful man. So I'll get off
> of the podium now.

> Take Care!

 

[suzanne]

like fruit in a can

> Let me stroke it. I won't poke it. Not until after we smoke it.

I read you the first time, do you have tourette's?

 

[Gothy]

Re: domestic violence

> All I'm addressing is why a woman would choose a man like that
> to begin with.

I'm sorry... but obviously you know nothing about domestic violence. Of course a woman does not choose a man like that to begin with. In the beginning the man is very charming. It's a slow process of control and abuse... These men aren't stupid, they know that if you hit a woman in the first month of a relationship she'd bolt.

What woman would choose to be beaten, Suzanne? Are you kidding me? Why don't you ask yourself "why do men abuse women" instead of "why does she stay?"

> What I'm also talking about is how the role of
> victim is instilled in these girls long before they ever hook up
> with the guy. How many confident and well spoken people do you
> know that get involved in such? Almost none.

Actually, that's total crap. I know TONS of women that were confident and ARE well-spoken and intelligent that have been subjected to these relationships because I work for a domestic violence agency. Please study up on a subject before you make baseless claims like "women who are beaten aren't intelligent." I know that's not exactly what you said but don't deny that's what you were implying. It's precisely your mentality ... the "blame the victim" mentality ... that perpetuates the acceptance of such things as DV and rape in this day and age.

> I'm saying that the
> people earlier in their lives could have done a much better
> service to them in giving them confidence in themselves to not
> choose such a guy. There are many people out there whose parents
> fail them in those minor roles, and now they are adults with
> problems. Many of them can't make up their own minds, can't
> handle their adult affairs, and just have a hard time not
> clinging to people.

You assume too much. I agree that many people are having children that shouldn't be... but again your focus should be on how people can raise men to be healthy and kind, not just on how women are "insecure," etc.

> Also, there are many who are in "abusive"
> relationships where there is no threat of physical violence. The
> guys puts tabs on them and interferes with their outside life in
> varying degrees, but many of these guys I know who do this don't
> end up chasing the girl down with a gun afterwards.

What the hell are you talking about? (Excuse me) But, once again, do your homework. There are plenty of relationships that end in homicide with no prior physical violence. And even if there isn't violence in a relationship there usually is the "threat of violence," otherwise most of those women would not stay. I'm not saying there are NO women that stay with abusive men because they are insecure or "clingy," but again - whose fault is that? And the focus is misguided.

> But TV is a man's fantasy life. Like the beer commercial, they
> want to show some ordinary Joe with bad clothing taste and
> obnoxious personality traits with a model on their arm.

What's your point?

Take Care!
-Gothy

 

[suzanne]

Re: domestic violence

you know, i wish you would quit misinterpreting everything i have said.

what originally started my point is that i thought that some guy was complaining why all these girls go back to their jerk boyfriends while he never gets a date and is left to clean up the mess.

there are various levels of jerkdom. They don't have to result in physical violence and I didn't even really have it in mind when i wrote it. They are pretty much all related in terms of freedom control and confidence factors at any rate. And, frankly, since you are a counselor, all you see is the aftermath of when the girl finally wises up and decides to get her life back together. You weren't there for the early stages.

And what I gather is that you think I'm saying all victims are dumb, and that is not what I have said at all. I said that they *think* they are dumb, and that is a big difference.

What I was saying is that society in general does a big disservice to women by creating them in the role of a victim. Since I know many girls who have had boyfriends that put a leash on them, made them sit by the phone, slowly isolated them away from their friends, I can tell you that the only "rescue" mission I had to do when a girl was in this sort of predicament and where I picked up a girl to escape being terrorized was basically to get her away from her own parents.

every girl i know that ends up with some jerk was treated like @#!!! by her parents. most of it is "you are the girl and therefore will be treated like this while your brothers can do whatever they want." have you ever seen anyone get in trouble if they retaliate against their younger brothers for tearing up their property while the boys get off scot free? I have. and as far as i can see, most cases of abuse stem from the "I am the man" mentality. many of these girls are very smart individuals, as you said, but they have such gaping holes in their self esteem that any man that says, "hey gorgeous" is going to be charming in their eyes. they don't believe in themselves as people. they don't do anything that makes themselves proud. their accomplishments are pretty much ignored. any abuser is going to sense that right off the bat and target them.

i was only addressing the abused female and NOT the abuser. you cannot have a crime without a victim, and you do a big disservice to people by failing to realize what circumstances they come from because it's usually not an isolated incident where they date this one random guy. it's usually a string of them that treat them this way.

 

[jinxt]

...and to rebuttal

> Why do you assume it is the woman's fault if she
stays? You
> think women choose to be in these relationships?
Almost 50% of
> all relationships are like that. Let's put
responsibility where
> it lies: on the MEN/abusers. And don't give me any
line about
> "women abuse, too" because 95% of all domestic
> violence cases - the man is the abuser.

i understand that we all have our soapboxes to stand
on and our crutches for when we fall off but this isnt
any where near being about that. first of all i am a
girl as a mentioned to suzanne earlier talking about
men and the women that they chose for relationships no
matter how ill matched because they are sexually
attracted to them. and how i put more time into their
relationships than their girlfriends do because i am
the one they turn to when they cant talk to her
because she wouldnt be able to handle them when theyre
emotional or she just wouldnt understand because
theyre to different and to and i quote get my opinion
because i am technically a girl. its about how i love
them and they love her, about how i have to play
therapist and they get the stinking valentime.

> "Why does she stay?" Well, it is a terrible
question,
> but I would like to enlighten just a bit: if he
threatens to
> kill you or your family or your children, what would
you do? The
> victim's chance of being killed DRAMATICALLY
INCREASES if she
> leaves. The relationship is based on control and
violence. It is
> close to impossible to leave.

anytime you dont do what someone wants the likelyhood
of retaliation dramatically increases. secondly these
relationships are the result of a weak woman and an
even weaker man, in that these relationships dont
start out that way. there are behavioral warning signs
given that one he is capable of such behaviour and two
she is inclined to accept that kind of behaviour. if
one or both partners dont display those traits that
kind of relationship is impossible. couples disagree
long before they get married or start having
children,and if when you have your inevitable first
fight and he loses his temper and you feel bullied and
demeaned he isnt the one for you or anyone else for
that matter. if she caves in to avoid confromtation or
believes the things he says he has found his target
audience. the man will test the water to see what you
will accept all men do in their way but the difference
is what reaction they prefer. so the moral of this
story is you to know who you are and what you want and
also what part of yourself are you willing to
sacrifice just to be with somebody because if they
catch you off guard they will decide for you.

> Oh... and about "women" being so awful and not
liking
> fat men... please give me a freaking break. I do
apologize to
> the men who have written and find that to be their
situation...
> but have any of you watched U.S. television lately?
Count how
> many fat men you see in commercials and on shows.
Now count fat
> women. Oh, is there a big difference? DUH! There is
an
> inordinately larger number of thin women with fat
men then vice
> versa. Please do your own informal research. Sit in
a mall or
> somewhere public and count...

first of all in commercials there are more women than
men because...
1)commericials that are geared towards men rely on the
assume that men will by anything that will give them
an edge over other men when trying to attract women
2)commercial that are geared towards women rely on the
premise that women are suckers for a good testimonal
and this coupled with a demo by someone they feel they
can believe is lethal
3)products geared towards children that use adults are
built on the belief that mommy doesnt lie and
simultaniously slapping mom w/ reason #2 since she is
the one holding the wallet and pushing the grocery
cart.

not to mention with the fact that with the empasis on
body image in our day to day lives there is a lack of
variety of body types that go into acting because
they'll never have the guts to try, theyre judged like
that everyday why would they want to set themselves up
for it. you cant be fat and a bad or even mediocre
actress you have an audience to captivate and if you
cant do it with your body there is no room for error
with your performance and that is a fact that does
apply to men as well but the likelyhood of a man
saying i love theatre and i'm good at what i do no
matter what i look like is greater. no even taking
into account the roles that are offered men can be
anything but women only plays a certain kind of woman
on a highly specified list of requirements for each
type alot of which is based on her body,what she
actually does is inconsequential.

> Oh, I'm not bitter. I'm with a wonderful man. So
I'll get off
> of the podium now.

> Take Care!

i'm not bitter either just a romantic in cynics
clothing whose disappointed she'll never get to act
like it.

not in my backyard,
jinxt