Worst Michael Jackson Single

Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.
Feel free to give us your two cents @rifke !
 

sea salt

I read books, I drink wine and I know things
Can't stand Jackson.

Can't stand Prince.

But Light Housework's wonderful Louis paintings definitely made clicking on this thread worth it! :hearteyes:
 

Aubrey McFate

Lonely in Barcelona
I think you’re pretty hard on Janet. Surely there are tons of artists from the 80’s that are worse than her? Have you heard Motley Crue?

Mötley Crüe is worse than Janet Jackson? Now you're the one who must be being flippant. The worst aspect of Mötley Crüe is easily their singer. Robert Plant inspired a generation of annoying shriek-singers. But musically I can tolerate them. I could have this wrong, but doesn't Rivers Cuomo rate Mick Mars highly? Mötley Crüe was capable of decent riffs and solos. Aside from the voice, they were not an aural assault. The worst hair metal band is eons above Janet Jackson.

Dancing is comical? I think you’re being deliberately flippant.

No. I can't look at someone boogie-ing around and not half-laugh. I guess choreography can be impressive as an athletic display, but I'd rather watch ballet or synchronized swimming, if that's the direction I'm going to go in. I'm not trying to channel Morrissey. Morrissey himself danced (or "flailed around" might be more accurate). His dancing was fairly ridiculous, but it was sufficiently awkward that it must've been genuine; you got the idea he wasn't trying to impress anyone with it. "I don't perform. Seals perform."

I think you’re describing the ‘The Way You Make Me Feel Video’, although he is not in his typical garb, nor does he wear a hat.

MJ being a comedian - again deliberately flippant. I assume you desperately want to channel the 1984 Morrissey. He has long since moved on and so should you.

It's possible I mis-remembered it, or amalgamized moments from several MJ videos into one iconic moment. Indulge me for a second: with his costumes and crotch-grabbing and plastic surgery and everything about him that was so absurdly over the top, the whole Mickey Mouse-Peter Pan thing, you really don't think I could see something comical in his presentation? If he didn't say "chucka-chucka," then he had a verbal tic or hiccup thing that sounded a lot like it.
 
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Aubrey McFate

Lonely in Barcelona


I thought "chucka-chucka" might've been in Bad, but I guess not. Still, this is very funny, especially the dancing. If you don't laugh at "your butt is mine" or anything else during the first minute then you have no funny bone. I can't figure out why "Weird" Al Yankovic ever felt compelled to parody Michael Jackson. He's comical on his own. "Hoo!"
 

Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.
Mötley Crüe is worse than Janet Jackson? Now you're the one who must be being flippant. The worst aspect of Mötley Crüe is easily their singer. Robert Plant inspired a generation of annoying shriek-singers. But musically I can tolerate them. I could have this wrong, but doesn't Rivers Cuomo rate Mick Mars highly? Mötley Crüe was capable of decent riffs and solos. Aside from the voice, they were not an aural assault. The worst hair metal band is eons above Janet Jackson.



No. I can't look at someone boogie-ing around and not half-laugh. I guess choreography can be impressive as an athletic display, but I'd rather watch ballet or synchronized swimming, if that's the direction I'm going to go in. I'm not trying to channel Morrissey. Morrissey himself danced (or "flailed around" might be more accurate). His dancing was fairly ridiculous, but it was sufficiently awkward that it must've been genuine; you got the idea he wasn't trying to impress anyone with it. "I don't perform. Seals perform."



It's possible I mis-remembered it, or amalgamized moments from several MJ videos into one iconic moment. Indulge me for a second: with his costumes and crotch-grabbing and plastic surgery and everything about him that was so absurdly over the top, the whole Mickey Mouse-Peter Pan thing, you really don't think I could see something comical in his presentation? If he didn't say "chucka-chucka," then he had a verbal tic or hiccup thing that sounded a lot like it.
Hair metal amalgamates the worst aspects of eighties pop/rock. Machismo, sexism, materialism and endless posing. Can’t stand it.

Fair enough.

Of course he was over the top. He was a true eccentric. And he often acted against his better judgment, be it creatively or in his private life. But I think that’s part of what made him fantastic. He was a true original, never to be duplicated, and a true outsider. He has at least that in common with Moz.

And yes, like I said, he had plenty of vocal tics.
 
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Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.


I thought "chucka-chucka" might've been in Bad, but I guess not. Still, this is very funny, especially the dancing. If you don't laugh at "your butt is mine" or anything else during the first minute then you have no funny bone. I can't figure out why "Weird" Al Yankovic ever felt compelled to parody Michael Jackson. He's comical on his own. "Hoo!"

I agree that that is one awkward line. Not his strongest piece of poetry, so to speak. Other than that, no. Not my idea of funny. Where you see funny, I see an ongoing conversation with decades or centuries of African American dancing, vocalizing, singing and performing. But to each his own.
 

rifke

18% descended from the great teutonic tribes

Aubrey McFate

Lonely in Barcelona
Hair metal amalgamates the worst aspects of eighties pop/rock. Machismo, sexual, materialism and endless posing. Can’t stand it.

But don't you think there's machismo in Bad? That's part of what makes it so ludicrous and funny: here is svelte and delicate Michael Jackson, snarling about how "bad" he is, while doing all this fancy dancing and trilling. I don't know that it's entirely part of "an ongoing conversation with decades or centuries of African American dancing, vocalizing, singing and performing," because instead, he's taking up the tired 80s hip-hop trope of "alpha" braggadocio. We are a long ways from Holland Dozier Holland or Lee Moses.
 

Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.
But don't you think there's machismo in Bad? That's part of what makes it so ludicrous and funny: here is svelte and delicate Michael Jackson, snarling about how "bad" he is, while doing all this fancy dancing and trilling. I don't know that it's entirely part of "an ongoing conversation with decades or centuries of African American dancing, vocalizing, singing and performing," because instead, he's taking up the tired 80s hip-hop trope of "alpha" braggadocio. We are a long ways from Holland Dozier Holland or Lee Moses.
No, I find no real machismo in the Bad video. There might be a tongue-in-cheek nod to the eighties tough guy via some West Side Story routines in there somewhere, but hardly any more than that. And you say braggadocio, and I can’t say you’re wrong (that is also part of African American pop culture), but I do feel that there might be more than a little influence stemming from, say, James Brown’s The Payback in there also. He was Michael’s number one idol, after all.
 

AtImber2022

Member
Where to begin? He's only one of the most overrated musicians in history.

Top 5 worst Michael Jackson singles:

1. You Are Not Alone aka Birds Of A Feather
2. You Rock My World
3. Bad
4. Scream
5. Speed Demon
 

Aubrey McFate

Lonely in Barcelona
No, I find no real machismo in the Bad video. There might be a tongue-in-cheek nod to the eighties tough guy via some West Side Story routines in there somewhere, but hardly any more than that. And you say braggadocio, and I can’t say you’re wrong (that is also part of African American pop culture), but I do feel that there might be more than a little influence stemming from, say, James Brown’s The Payback in there also. He was Michael’s number one idol, after all.

Hmm. I guess that explains something. I never much cared for James Brown, either. He's another act it's difficult for me to take seriously. Too dance-y. I've never cottoned to "party music" of any stripe.
 

Aubrey McFate

Lonely in Barcelona
The worst Michael Jackson song might be whichever one is sampled in a Rihanna song. I used to work with a girl who played Rihanna incessantly on the days when it was her turn to play the music. When the Michael Jackson sample came in, I had to cover my ears. I said, "I cannot take this." And she said, "are you crazy?! This is MJ!" She thought my music was "weird as shit" and that Rihanna was "fine as f*ck."
 

AtImber2022

Member
That would be 'Wanna Startin' Something' (which is actually very good) as sampled in 'Please Don't Stop The Music' which is actually great as well. Oh well!
 

Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.
Hmm. I guess that explains something. I never much cared for James Brown, either. He's another act it's difficult for me to take seriously. Too dance-y. I've never cottoned to "party music" of any stripe.
Very categorical and unwise referring to all music by the likes of Mike and James Brown as ‘party music’. Unless, of course, you find worth in coming across as a snobbish Little Englander who only cares for white (English) guitar music. You don’t come across as someone with a deep understanding of music, that’s for sure.
 
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Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.
Where to begin? He's only one of the most overrated musicians in history.

Top 5 worst Michael Jackson singles:

1. You Are Not Alone aka Birds Of A Feather
2. You Rock My World
3. Bad
4. Scream
5. Speed Demon
I think all of these are more or less great, especially YRMW, Scream and Speed Demon.
His worst songs are:
Black Or White
Heal the World
The Lost Children
You Are My Life
I Just Can’t Stop Loving You
 

Aubrey McFate

Lonely in Barcelona
Very categorical and unwise referring to all music by the likes of Mike and James Brown as ‘party music’. Unless, of course, you find worth in coming across as a snobbish Little Englander who only care for white (English) guitar music. You don’t come across as someone with a deep understanding of music, that’s for sure.

What are you talking about? You shouldn't jump to conclusions. I don't expect you to read all my posts, but I've been pretty staunch on here recently in my hatred of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who are "funk party jock bros." I hate a whole lot of the music people will typically put on to dance and party, and I am not a Briton.

I am, God help me, a terrible music snob. I have very particular tastes, and my ears are sensitive to certain styles and sounds. I can't help that. I can't make myself like music that I just don't. Does this somehow make me a bad person? Wasn't there an absurdity some years ago when Stephen Merritt of the Magnetic Fields was accused of being a racist because he admitted he didn't like Beyoncé or hip-hop? And what qualifies as "a deep understanding of music"? How much do I have to know, or what kinds of music must I appreciate, to pass this test? You're coming across as a snob, too, you know. The difference between us is that I admit it.
 
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Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.
What are you talking about? You shouldn't jump to conclusions. I don't expect you to read all my posts, but I've been pretty staunch on here recently in my hatred of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who are "funk party jock bros." I hate a whole lot of the music people will typically put on to dance and party, and I am not a Briton.

I am, God help me, a terrible music snob. I have very particular tastes, and my ears are sensitive to certain styles and sounds. I can't help that. I can't make myself like music that I just don't. Does this somehow make me a bad person? Wasn't there an absurdity some years ago when Stephen Merritt of the Magnetic fields was accused of being a racist just because he admitted he didn't like Beyoncé or hip-hop? And what qualifies "a deep understanding of music"? How much do I have to know, or what kinds of music must I appreciate, to pass this test? You're coming across as a snob, too, you. The difference between us is that I admit it.
It’s just that you seem silly and shallow and snobbish when you dismiss soul music as simply “party music”. By all means, be snobbish, I’d even go as far as saying that it’s very good to be a bit snobbish/selective, but for the love of God, acknowledge that there is there is depth and substance in not just guitar-based indie. I feel like you’re missing out.

And by the way, I never could stand The Magnetic Fields. I tried when I was 21-22 and wanted to impress friends and girls, but I just couldn’t stand them. How it’s not music for very young children, I will never know.

Totally agree re RHCP, though. Awful band.
 
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