This is a lovely bit of fiction you're trying to project onto me, but I'm afraid it won't work. Your incessant yammering on about "virtue signaling" is simply you telling on yourself as usual. Forget compassion or empathy, no degree of understanding could possibly seem authentic to you because you care only about yourself. It's part and parcel with your self-pitying narcissism, the hallmark of every racist. You carry on disingenuously about putting your "country" first, but this is a ruse. You simply want your world to be a reflection of you and you alone. Anything else is a challenge to your narrow sensibilities.
You're right, I indeed spent part of my childhood in a very idyllic and rural part of the east coast. Unfortunately for your perpetually bullshit conjecture, it was in one of the most ethnically diverse states in America where I was in the minority as a white person in my grade school classes. The other part of my childhood was spent in New York City, where I too ran loose in the "urban jungle" among more of the "Blacks" you feel so threatened by. Strange how my experience didn't result in race hatred, paranoia or prejudice. You fancy yourself some sort of critical thinker, some observer of life, yet aall of your theories are so reductive it's hard to take them seriously. You want desperately for there to be a direct correlation between exposure to dark-skinned people and some sort of "sensible" racism, but there just isn't. That's an affliction reserved for the frightened and the misinformed, two psychological traits you vividly embody.
If you go back and comb through all of my posts, you'll never find a single instance of me offering "impassioned" defenses of black people, mass immigration or really espousing any sort of "wokeness" whatsoever. My politics are fairly mild. But I am indeed anti-racist, which is triggering enough for you as worship of your whiteness is a fundamental part of that thing you call a personality. Perhaps if you had any real accomplishments, you'd find something else to be proud of.